


The First Storm: Approaching the Eye

by Clare_Hope



Series: The Many Storms of Sandoval Island [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Adorable Toddler, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe-Lawyer, Astraphobia, Bisexual Character, Gay Character, Homophobia, Islands, Loggerhead Turtles, M/M, Marine Biology, Modern AU, Nonbinary Character, Other, Pirate Ships, Transphobia, Trigger Warning-Self Harm (later in the story), Trigger Warning-Suicidal Ideations (later in the story), Turtles, that means fear of thunderstorms, the lawyer stuff is questionable but i swear the turtle facts are all accurate, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:29:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 48,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clare_Hope/pseuds/Clare_Hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Up and coming lawyer Alexander Hamilton is anything but pleased when his boss tells him he's being shipped off to South Carolina to defend a small non-profit organization dedicated solely to protecting a population of loggerhead sea turtles on Sandoval Island. Despite himself, though, the island and its inhabitants grow on him and he finds himself facing challenges unlike any he could have imagined. With a group of unlikely and eclectic new business associates and friends, Alex fights for himself, John Laurens, and the turtles of Sandoval Island with blood, sweat, and tears. No storm can stand in his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To "The Revolution"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello! Welcome to the first storm of many to take place in this new 'verse. I hope you enjoy it, and I'll try to keep updates fairly regular! ~Clare

“ _ South Carolina _ ?!” Alex exclaimed in dismay.

“It'll be a good paying job,” his boss, George Washington tried to console him.

“But I thought I was getting the gig about the copyright shit,” argued Alex.

“Uh, yeah, he gave that one to me,” Alex’s coworker Aaron Burr interrupted, leaning out from behind the silk potted plant that adorned his desk.

Alex glared. “ _ I  _ was supposed to get that one,” he complained. “I said I didn't want to leave New York.”

Aaron shrugged. “I guess that's just how it went,” he said mildly. “Sorry, man.”

George cleared his throat. “Alexander, son, I think you'll be alright with this job.”

“What's the case, anyway?” Alex sighed. No matter what it was, he was sure that he wasn't going to like it. He did  _ not _ want to go to South Carolina. Never had the desire to visit that state, never would.

“A construction company wants to build a hotel on the beach of one of the islands off the coast,” George explained.

“Okay, but what does that have to do with anything? Who am I defending here?” Alex knew he was being very snappish, but he didn't really care. He was sure that Burr had set this up, just so he could stay in New York and make Alex fly halfway down the coast. Besides which, Burr probably thought that he was better suited for the copyright case. He thought he was a better lawyer than Alex. But of course, Burr would never say that to his face. He was so incredibly non-confrontational. Why he had decided to be a lawyer was beyond Alex, who had been arguing before he could read (which was a pretty early age, anyway). 

Washington continued, sighing. “The beach is apparently a nesting site for loggerhead turtles.”

Alex stared blankly. “So?”

Burr broke in. “They're endangered, Alexander. But the construction company is trying to work around having to do their Environmental Impact Statement properly. And the turtle protection group who is based on the island doesn't want to let them build there.”

Alex couldn't bring himself to care about these turtles. “You seem to know a lot about it, Burr, why don't you take this job?” he hinted.

“Not my decision,” Burr apologized and turned back to his work.

“Alex, I want  _ you _ on this job. I think you're honestly better suited for it than Aaron is.” Washington was trying to flatter him. It wasn't going to work, and Alex wasn't going to be happy about it, but he knew he was going to have to give in.

“Am I representing the construction company or the, um, ‘turtles’?” Alex said sarcastically, drawing air-quotes around the word turtles.

“The turtles,” George replied.

“Great.” Alex rolled his eyes. One year out of law school and at his first real job, and his first big case was going to be protecting some stupid reptiles. Then, something Washington had said earlier struck him. “Wait, why am  _ I _ better suited than Burr?”

A smile spread across George's lips. “Well, because we’re taking this case as a favor to an old friend of mine, and it’s more probable that you will work harder to win for them because of who is representing the construction company.”

Alex waited, but George wasn't going to elaborate without prompting. “And...who is representing the construction company?”

“Thomas Jefferson and James Madison,” Washington answered knowingly.

The disinterest Alex had felt initially suddenly disappeared, replaced by the eagerness he always felt at the prospect of going head to head with his nemesis and said nemesis’s sidekick. “When do I leave?” he said quickly.

Washington actually laughed. “I thought that would change your mind. You leave the day after tomorrow, I figured that would give you enough time to pack. Your plane ticket’s already been bought, son, you don’t have to do anything but show up at the airport and get on the plane. Then you’ll have to take a boat from the coast to the island, and while you’re on your way, you should probably read what we have so far in the case file.”

“Sounds fantastic,” Alex said giddily. Who cared about turtles? He was going to get to diss Thomas Jefferson in court...again. He couldn’t wait to see the look on that idiot’s face when Alex dismantled his arguments more eloquently and insultingly than Jefferson could ever have imagined, and he was lost for a second in his fantasy. He came back to reality when Aaron spoke again.

“Alexander, you might want to go home and start packing. You’ll be gone for the better part of two months.”

Well,  _ that _ was a cold bucket of reality dumped over his head. “Two months?” he echoed.

George winced. “Did I forget to mention that?”

“ _ Two months _ ?” Alex couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to leave New York at all, let alone to for two months. Even the thought of destroying Jefferson in court wasn’t enough to cheer him up this time as he went home, dejected, to start packing.

He sat on his bed in his tiny apartment, trying to muster the energy and motivation to even pull out his old suitcase.  _ Come on, _ he chastised himself.  _ You survived a hurricane, a typhoid outbreak, your mother’s death, years of being alone in America, and seven years of college which you completed in four. You can go to South Carolina for two months. _

Groaning, he finally stood back up and pulled his ratty, dusty suitcase from out of his closet, which was an utter mess. He swore several times as, with the sudden disappearance of the suitcase from its place on the top shelf where it had been holding up a ton of other junk, a pile of dust, clothes, and quilts came toppling down on top of him. Alex almost fell over, adding insult to injury. He was just glad that he was alone at the time. If someone had seen that, he would never live it down.

He tried several times to shove all of his clothes into the luggage. Each time ended with him almost in tears. Why couldn’t he fit even two outfits, a business suit, and a jacket into the stupid bag? Despairingly, he actually ended up calling Martha Washington, George’s wife, and begging for her maternal assistance. He could tell that she was laughing at him a little as she talked him through the most efficient way to pack a suitcase, but he was incredibly grateful that she didn’t actually tease him or anything.

“Good luck on your trip, darling. Do you need anything else?” she had asked considerately before hanging up.

“No, I’m good now. Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly. “I think I was probably overreacting.”

“Maybe a little. But it’s alright, love, you’ve never had anyone to teach you things like packing suitcases, have you? Don’t blame yourself. Goodbye, Alex!”

“Bye, Martha. Thanks again.”

“No problem. Bye!”

Alex shoved his phone into his pocket, sighing. Just then, he realized that Martha’s help might have been a little too helpful. He had managed to fit  _ all _ of his clothes in the suitcase. Admittedly, he didn’t really have that much clothing to begin with. But now he didn’t have anything to wear for the next two days. Frustrated, he almost burst into tears again. He only managed to stop himself by muttering out loud, “How the  _ entire _ fuck did I manage to get through law school without having a mental breakdown?” The tiny bit of self-deprecating humor let him pull himself together long enough to pull out two days worth of clothing from the tightly-packed suitcase. He didn’t even make everything else in the bag explode, shockingly enough. Maybe he could actually make this work.

Two days later, Alex was rushing through the JFK International Airport, cursing his bad luck and terrible alarm clock. His plane was going to leave in  _ three minutes _ and he was still two minutes away from the terminal he needed to be at. “Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered continuously until a woman with a young daughter gave him a dirty look as he passed. He shot her an apologetic glance and changed to French. “ _ Merde, merde, merde… _ ”

Panting, he ran up to the man in charge of boarding. “Name?” the man asked tiredly.

“Alexander Hamilton,” Alex gasped out. “Flight to Charleston, South Carolina?”

“You’re in luck,” the man replied. “The flight’s been delayed by half an hour due to some re-fueling issues. You’ve got plenty of time to board.”

_ Are you actually fucking kidding me? _ “Thank you,” Alex sighed resignedly, and boarded the plane.

He was sitting near the back of the plane, just behind the wings, on the left side. He thanked whatever gods might be watching for getting him a window seat, but took back the thanks when a rude old white man sat next to him and gave him a disapproving glare. Of course he would be seated next to a racist. Alex knew he didn’t look incredibly Caribbean, but clearly this man could tell. Just to avoid talking to the man, Alex put on his headphones and began reading the case file.

Ignoring the safety announcements (they would just stress him out if he listened to them properly, and he wouldn’t be able to focus on work for the flight duration), Alex got through the very little amount of information in the file quickly. All he learned was that the turtle protection group was called the Laurens Project for Sea Turtles (hereafter referred to as the LPST, according to the file), that the island was called Sandoval Island, and that the building company was Empire Hotels. Alex had never heard of it. All the better, a well-known company would be harder to defeat.

Included in the file were some pictures of the turtles, presumably to get him to care a little bit more about the job. Sure, the turtles were kinda cute, he had to admit. But he didn’t really see the appeal. They were adorable as newly hatched babies, but they kind of got ugly when they were fully grown. So he wasn’t a hundred percent convinced that it would be easy to fake passion during this case.

Then he saw the picture of the man who ran the LPST and his mind changed immediately.

It was a photo taken on the beach at sunset. The focus of the picture was no doubt supposed to be the tiny hatchling turtle crawling out of the sand, but Alex couldn’t help being distracted by the man crouching over the nest. His face was covered in splashes of freckles, the dark spots standing out against his terracotta skin. A wide, delighted grin spread across his face as he beamed up at the camera, pointing down at the baby turtle. The young man’s large puff of dark hair was tied back from his face to keep it out of the sand and his eyes, which were crinkled at the corner with adorable laughter lines.

Intensely curious about this man, Alex turned over the photo in the hope that it had his name on the back. Scrawled in black ink, a label on the back read  _ “John Laurens and a newly hatched loggerhead, 29 August 2013. Photo by Lafayette” _ . So that was Laurens, the man who ran the turtle program! But who was Lafayette? Alex shrugged. He was probably going to find out later that day.

Alex had to breathe carefully while the plane was landing in Charleston International Airport. He still got anxiety on planes, despite having to travel a lot due to his job. Though he hadn’t been put in charge of his own case before now, he had done a lot of interning work all across the Eastern seaboard. He had finally landed a real job with Washington, but not before getting into a lot of hot water with another couple of law firms. Namely, Thomas Jefferson’s. He and Jefferson had disagreed fundamentally about a lot of things: politics, law, society, music, cuisine… Well, anyway, it was a lot, and Alex certainly wasn’t going to get along very well there in Virginia. So he had gone to New York, and had met Burr, who had introduced him to Washington and had gotten him a job. He wouldn’t exactly call Burr his friend--the man was far too indecisive, and would say anything to get people on his side, even if he didn’t believe it--but he was grateful to him for the opportunity.

Thrilled that he didn’t have to sit next to the rude old man anymore, Alex disembarked from the plane and hurried through the airport. He was glad he didn’t need to pick up any checked bags. His only suitcase had been just small enough to be considered a carryon, and his laptop bag had been his personal item. He waved a mental, cheery goodbye to the others with whom he had shared the flight and left the airport ahead of the wave of traffic that would surely come along after the bags had come out of the ‘carousel’.

Alex hailed a taxi outside the airport. Normally, he would try to find a bus or another, cheaper mode of transportation, but his firm was paying for his travel anyway, and it wasn’t coming out of his paycheck. Might as well live the high life while he could, right? “Sandoval Island Ferry,” he requested to the cab driver.

“Sure thing,” she replied in a Southern drawl.

He smiled amiably and settled back for the hour-long ride. He made small talk with the woman, who was very kind. He gave her a generous tip out of his own pocket when they reached their destination, and was almost sorry to see her go. He turned away from the road and towards the ocean, where the ferry was docked. A few other people, mainly tourists, were waiting for it to begin boarding. Alex reached into his pocket for his pre-purchased ticket and headed over to the pre-boarding line.

After about twenty minutes, during which Alex gazed out at the early spring afternoon over the ocean and reflected on how maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t going to be so bad, he was able to get on the ferry. He sat up near the bow of the ship, just inside the wide windows at the very front of the ferry. He shot a quick text to Washington, not knowing what he was supposed to do once he got to the island. He hadn’t thought that far ahead.

Washington responded about halfway through the ferry ride.  _ U R going to be met at the dock on the island by Laurens and his second-in-command. They’ll take you to the headquarters of the program and you’ll get the rest of the info there. _

Alex giggled slightly at George’s attempt to use a bit of text-type, which he had clearly abandoned after the first few words. George wasn’t  _ old _ by any means, but he did seem a bit out of touch with modern technology.  _ Thanks! _ he shot back. He was a little bit excited now. The cute man from the photo, Laurens, was going to be meeting him in less than an hour. Alex re-tied his hair into a neater bun, wanting to make a good impression and chiding himself for his stupidity. It was  _ highly _ doubtful that Laurens would be interested in him, even if Laurens  _ was _ exactly Alex’s type. After all, this was conservative South Carolina, not New York. But it couldn’t hurt to readjust his collar, all the same, and to make sure he didn’t have any dirt or anything on his face, or food between his teeth…

When Alex and the small group of chatty tourists debarked the ferry, waving goodbye to the smiling host, Alex waited nervously inside the small ferry station where one could buy tickets or wait inside for another ship, glancing around. How would Laurens know where to find him?

Just then, a couple of people came into the building, laughing and talking. Alex instantly recognized John Laurens from the picture in the file, and his heart kind of skipped a beat. The man was even prettier in person. The person he was with was black, had long hair tied back in a bun similar to Alex’s, wore flamboyantly colored clothing, and, to Alex’s surprise, sported very expertly winged eyeliner despite appearing to be male. Laurens and this other person came right over to Alex.

“I assume you’re our new lawyer?” Laurens greeted, holding out his hand.

Alex stood up quickly and shook it. “Alexander Hamilton. How did you guess?” he asked pleasantly.

Laurens laughed. “You’re the only person here in business clothes, not tourist garb. It was easy enough to tell. Plus, you’re the only one left, and I’d certainly hoped that you were our lawyer. Because if you weren’t, we’d have to track him down, and it gets annoying to have to herd lost idiots around the island. Hi, I’m John Laurens.”

“I figured,” Alex answered. He looked over at the other person. “And you are…”

“ _ Je m'appelle  _ Lafayette,” they replied.

“Laf, English,” Laurens reproached. Lafayette immediately looked guilty.

“Oh! Sorry,” they said in heavily accented English.

“It’s fine,” Alex replied. He remembered seeing the name Lafayette on the back of the photo in the file. Nervously, he eyed the French person, wondering if it would be acceptable to ask their gender. They sounded and looked like a man, but the clothes and makeup were telling a slightly different story.

Lafayette seemed to notice his discomfort. “You are wondering about this,  _ oui _ ?” they asked, gesturing to their appearance.

Embarrassed, Alex nodded slightly. Laurens stepped a little closer to his coworker, probably ready to step in if Alex started being rude. But Lafayette seemed perfectly capable to handle the situation.

“I am what you would call genderqueer,” they explained. “You would refer to me as ‘they’, not he or she. If there is a problem with that, I believe we might be better served with another lawyer, John.”

Alex was quick to correct them. “No, no! It’s totally fine, I was actually going to ask your pronouns but I wasn’t sure if that would be...I don’t know.”

Lafayette appeared delighted. “Most people would not even think to ask! Thank you,  _ mon ami _ .”

“My friend,” Laurens quickly jumped in. “That’s what that meant. In case you didn’t know.”

Alex nearly laughed as he explained, “I knew what they meant. I speak French fluently, too.”

If possibly, Lafayette looked even happier. “Ah, we will get along just fine, I think! I love it here but I am often a bit, how to put it, out of place.”

Alex was very pleased at how this conversation was going. He wasn’t going to have any problems working with these people. “I’m sure I’m out of place, too, a lawyer on an island of natives and tourists,” he replied. He didn’t want to change the subject, as he was enjoying talking to these people, but he knew that he had to get to business. “Speaking of lawyer, I only have a very minimal amount of information in the file on this case that I was given. Would you fill me in?”

“Of course!” Laurens exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “Now, sorry, our base is about a mile away and we don’t actually have a car with us. I hope the walk won’t be a problem?”

“Not on such a beautiful day with such wonderful company,” Alex said smoothly. He was probably imagining things, but did Laurens blush a tiny bit? Hoping he hadn’t made the man uncomfortable, Alex changed the subject. “Lead the way,” he invited, popping the handle of his suitcase up to roll it along the path.

Laurens began a seemingly well-rehearsed spiel about the LPST, which Alex only really listened to because he liked the sound of the man’s voice. He started paying real attention when Laurens said, “And that’s why we need a lawyer, see. The Empire Hotel company is trying its very best to dismiss all of our claims that the beach is an extremely important nesting site for the loggerheads that live in the area. Y’all non-biologist types don’t get it. For some reason, which I’m sure I’d understand if I’d’ve gone to law school like my dad wanted, the company managed to get around the Endangered Species Act on a technicality, they’ve almost gotten their permit to build, and they’re gonna start building in November, which is the end of nesting season. We need to get rid of them before then, or make sure they can’t get their permit.”

Alex nodded. He was well-versed in stupid corporations getting their way through loopholes and technicalities. “I got it. Now, I’m pretty new to the whole turtle thing, though. You want to tell me a bit more about them?” he invited.

Laurens’ eyes lit up. “Seriously?”

“I mean, yeah,” Alex laughed. “I should know a bit more about the critters I’m supposed to be protecting, shouldn’t I?”

Lafayette sighed. “You should not have gotten him started,  _ mon ami _ ,” they murmured to Alex. “He will never stop.”

Laurens shoved them playfully. “Shut up, Laf. If Alex had asked you about photography, you’d’ve been babbling a mile a minute, too. They’re right, though, if you let me get started, I’ll never stop,” he added to Alex. “That okay?”

“That’s absolutely fine,” Alex responded.

“Okay, so if you hadn’t noticed, I  _ really _ like turtles, yeah, and not just loggerheads. Actually, my favorites are Florida softshell turtles ‘cause they’re really cute and kinda funny lookin’ and nobody knows about them ‘cause they’re not big majestic sea turtles you see in aquariums, ya know? But they’re my favorite, especially to draw. Anyway, you’re asking about the loggerheads, don’t let me get off track, Laf!”

Lafayette sputtered. “ _ Mon cher _ , you have told me many times not to stop you when you start talking turtles!” they protested.

“I know, I’m kiddin’. Mostly. Right, so as much as I love softshells and I think y’all should, too, they aren’t endangered. So instead I decided to work with South Carolina’s very own state reptile, the loggerhead! Used to live in Charleston, moved out here to be closer to them. Anyway, so, the loggs are endangered ‘cause people overexploit them. Hunt ‘em for their shells and meat and all even though technically their meat shouldn’t be eaten, ‘cause they eat food that’s toxic to people and the toxins accumulate in the meat. So it’s not smart to eat, even if I wasn’t biased toward them in the first place. But that doesn’t stop people who wanna make a little extra cash. Plus, the turtles get tangled in nets or caught as bycatch by legal fishermen. So awhile back they got put on the endangered species list, and we made them our state reptile to try and protect them a bit, but it didn’t work too well. Though it’s been gettin’ better over the past few years. Stop me if I’m going too fast, okay?” Laurens said, suddenly sounding nervous.

“You’re not going too fast, don’t worry,” Alex reassured him.

“Great! Anyway, just because things are getting better for the turtles doesn’t mean it’s over. They’re still threatened, and Sandoval Island is one of their biggest nesting sites in the US, next to Cape Island. And that’s where we come in! Cape Island is protected as part of the big reserve, but Sandoval didn’t get into that li’l arrangement.” Laurens’ Southern accent was getting more and more pronounced as he got more passionate. “Which is ridiculous! Sandoval’s got endangered and endemic wildlife too.”

“ _ Mon cher _ , you are getting off topic again,” Lafayette said gently.

“Shut up, Laf,” Laurens said dismissively. Lafayette shot Alex a look as if to say  _ what am I gonna do with him? _ Alex grinned. “Right, so some basic info about the loggs. They average about 350 pounds, which is a decent size for a turtle. Actually, they’re the largest of the hard-shelled. Leatherbacks are bigger, but they’re soft. And loggs are carnivores, they eat shellfish and crabs and jellies--”

“Jellies?!” Alex interjected. “Seriously? But…”

“Like I said, their food is toxic to people,” Laurens laughed. “And they’ll eat some plants sometimes, too, if they have to. Also, the females will return to the beach where they hatched to lay their eggs even if they drifted out a thousand miles away. It’s incredible! And that’s why it’s important to preserve all the beaches. They can’t just, as the Empire Hotel claims, ‘pick another beach and get on with it’.” Suddenly, he sounded angry. “It’s ridiculous. They call for experts, then dismiss all of my facts!”

“I’m good at making people listen,” Alex told him. He might not really care about the turtles, but he had already grown fond of his new client. Definitely not because he was cute and adorable and because of how the freckles on his nose moved when he talked...no, definitely not! That would be unprofessional and ridiculous. And Alex was neither of those.

...Who was he kidding, he was both. And Laurens  _ was _ adorable. And his voice got so passionate when he was talking. Alex could listen to him all day.

“Good,” Laurens said. “I want you to know, I don’t expect you to care about the turtles, by the way. I know this is just a job for you, and you don’t have to listen to me keep talkin’.”

Taken aback, Alex responded, “Thanks, but I don’t mind listening to you! And I like getting fully involved in all my cases. No point if I’m not giving it my everything. And since apparently this case is gonna take about two months to wrap up, I’m hoping now that it doesn’t feel like just another boring job. Because this doesn’t seem boring to me.” He surprised himself by how true that was. The island was beautiful so far, even though the path that they were walking along the deserted road bordering the coast all looked the same. They were approaching a bend in the road around a slight rise of the land and Alex couldn’t see what was on the other side. He wondered if it was any different, or more of the same.

“Well, I hope so,” Laurens said. “And I hope we can be friends as well as having a working relationship, Mr. Hamilton.”

“Alex, please,” Alex replied.

“Alex, then. I don’t meet very many people like-minded to me and my friends around here, ya see. People who accept Laf without so much as a rude word…”

Lafayette snorted. “I can handle myself,  _ mon cher _ , and you and Hercules and the Schuylers have enough to worry about without worrying about people who give me rude words.”

Laurens continued. “Anyway, you seem nice. I hope I’m not talking too much again?”

“You’re fine, Laurens. And I’m sure we can be friends, I like you a lot,” Alex informed him.

“John, please,” Laurens said, echoing Alex from a minute ago.

“You two do not wish to be on first name terms with me,” Lafayette giggled.

Alex frowned. “Why…”

John tried to cut Lafayette off, but they talked right over John’s protest. “Because, my friend, my name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette.”

After a second of stunned silence, Alex burst out laughing. “That is quite a mouthful!”

Pleased, Lafayette nodded. “Which is why I prefer Lafayette. Although John and a few others refer to me as ‘Laf’ for some reason.”

“It’s shorter,” John said dismissively. “We’re almost at base, Alex. Oh, I should probably tell you…”

John’s voice trailed off as Alex looked around the bend in the road and his mouth dropped open. He had expected some small building. Instead, there was an honest-to-god  _ pirate ship _ looking vessel run aground at the very edge of the water with the giant letters  **LPST** painted on the side. “What… the… hell?” Alex managed.

“I usually warn people,” John said sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“Where did you get  _ that _ ?” Alex exclaimed, astonished.

“We call her  _ The Revolution _ ,” Lafayette said proudly. “She is our home.”

“That didn’t answer my question,” Alex said weakly.

Laurens kind of swallowed uncomfortably. “I’m...well, my family’s really rich. The ship was going to be scrapped, but...well, I bought it. I’m soft, okay? It had been beached on this island I used to play on when I was a kid, and eventually some museum got a hold of it but they were going to sell it because it was useless and nobody actually cared about it, it didn’t have any important history. They couldn’t find anyone to buy it so they were gonna get rid of it. I might have been going through a bit of a...rebellious stage. I had just turned eighteen, my dad...nevermind. Anyway, I bought it and got it fixed up. It doubles as my house and base for the project. We’re about as close to the beach as you can get, right?”

Alex wasn’t put off by the fact that Laurens had money, or the fact that he lived on a ship. It had just come as a bit of a shock, which he pushed aside and simply said, “Neat!”

“Glad you think so,” John said with some relief. “You’re welcome to stay with us, if you want, free of charge. Cheaper than a hotel, by any means. Besides, all the hotels here suck, and they’re tourist traps.”

“I’d love to,” Alex replied. After all, he was already having an incredibly strange day. Why not decide to spend the next two months of his life on a pirate ship called  _ The Revolution _ ?

“ _ Fantastique _ !” Lafayette exclaimed. “Come on board, we will introduce you to the rest of the crew,  _ non _ ?”

“The...rest of the crew?” Alex asked as he followed the other two off the path, picking up his suitcase so he didn’t roll it through the sand of the beach.

“Oh, careful! Um, just follow me, okay, there are a few nests closer to the water. We don’t want to step on them,” Laurens said quickly.

Alex adjusted his path to be walking in Laurens’ footsteps. “Sorry about that, I’ll be more careful.”

“Oh, you’re good for now. It’s closer to the water you’ve gotta worry.”

Suddenly, a shrill shout came from  _ The Revolution _ . “Daddy’s back!”

“Frances, get back here!” a woman cried.

Alex stared. A little kid had suddenly appeared at the bow of the ship, which Alex had realized wasn't floating, but was beached on the island. The kid was climbing down a ladder at the side of the ship. “Frances, darlin’, listen to Peggy!” John called. “You know you're not supposed to be climbing without help!”

A young woman leaned out over the side of the ship and grabbed the kid by the strap of the bright orange life jacket she was wearing. “I got her, John!” The kid shrieked in protest but she could do nothing as the older girl hauled her back up to the deck. “Frances, I've told you a million times. No climbing down without help!”

Alex was close enough to see the pouty face that the little girl was pulling. “Just wanted to say hi to Daddy,” she grumbled.

“I'll be right up, Frances,” John said. He rolled his eyes at Lafayette, who smiled sympathetically. Alex felt slightly out of the loop. John had a daughter? And who was Peggy? She certainly didn't look old enough to be Frances’ mother. John gestured for Alex to follow him up the ladder. “Watch out for splinters,” he warned, too late, just as Alex felt a sliver of wood slip into his finger.

“Ow! Thanks,” Alex said sarcastically.

Lafayette laughed. “The warning was in vain, John.”

“Sorry!” John said as he reached the top of the ladder and hopped up onto the deck. He held out his hand to help Alex up but was unfortunately knocked to the side by a ball of energy in an orange life vest. “Frances!” he yelped.

“I missed you!” the little girl mumbled, her arms wrapped around John’s legs. He scooped her up in his arms as Alex finally scrambled over the edge of the deck. Lafayette jumped up after him, much more elegantly than Alex had.

“Darlin’, I left two hours ago,” John said, kissing her cheek. “Didn’t Peggy keep you company?”

Frances clung with her arms tightly around his neck. “She’s not  _ you _ .”

The girl, Peggy, was standing about five feet away, her arms crossed. “Young lady, I am a wonderful babysitter.”

Giggling, Frances stuck her tongue out. “Yeah, but you’re not Dad.” Suddenly, the little girl spotted Alex and fell silent, suddenly shy. She buried her face in her father’s neck.

“Frances, baby, this is Alexander,” John said. “Say hi! He’s gonna help us save the turtles.”

Alex smiled at her reassuringly as she peeked up at him. “He is?” Frances asked.

“I am,” Alex confirmed. “Hi, Frances. I’m Alex.”

“Hi,” she replied shyly.

“How old are you?” Alex asked.

“Three and a half.”

“Wow!” Alex said. “That’s a lot.”

Frances giggled, and John looked at Alex gratefully. “Darlin’, I’m gonna put you down now,” John told his daughter. “You’re gonna go play with Peggy for a while, okay? Make sure she gets her homework done.”

“John!” Peggy protested.

John shot her a glare that basically said  _ please just humor the kid and keep her out of trouble. _ “Peggy, take Frances down below.” He handed the kid to the babysitter, who rolled her eyes but headed off to the small structure near the center of the ship with a door that probably led to a staircase.

“C’mon, baby, we’ll play a fun game and leave your dad to his work, okay?” Peggy was saying as she opened the door and disappeared down the stairwell, Frances clinging to her hand.

As soon as the door closed, John turned to Alex and Lafayette and sighed. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. Your kid’s adorable,” Alex said honestly.

John smiled proudly. “I know.” He gazed at the doorway his daughter had gone through fondly. “I know she is.”

“ _ Oui _ , she is more our mascot than the turtles are,” Lafayette joked. They laughed when John glared at them.

“My daughter is not a mascot,” he grumbled.

“ _ Non _ ,  _ mon cher _ , she is not,” they agreed. “She is our heart and soul.”

John tried not to glow with pride. “Alex,” he said suddenly, abruptly changing the subject. “Would you like to see the documents the building company has sent us?”

“Absolutely,” Alex agreed readily. He wanted to ask about Frances’ mother, but figured that would be a bit insensitive after knowing John for all of an hour. He was sure there would be plenty of time for small talk later. After they had saved the turtles.


	2. At Revel's with Some Rebels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza Schuyler is amazing, Frances is adorable, Jefferson is a jerk, and Alex tries unsuccessfully to flirt. So a normal day on the island.

Alex woke up groggily and wondered for a second where he was. It was dark, his bed wasn't very comfortable, and the air smelled faintly of salt and wood rot, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. Then he remembered that he was on the ship  _ The Revolution _ , sleeping in a spare bunk at the courtesy of the lovely John Laurens, and he was supposed to be saving a beach and some turtles. He scrambled for his phone, grateful for the power outlets that had somehow been installed into the old ship. Laurens probably had a generator on board, with how much money he seemed to have.

6:48, read the display on his phone after he unplugged it. Alex yawned and sat up. His head slammed against the low ceiling, and he almost cursed loudly before remembering that he was in very close quarters with several probably still sleeping people as well as a three-year-old.

Rubbing the sore lump on his forehead ruefully, Alex got up quietly and fumbled around the tiny, dark room for his suitcase. He threw on some clothes (hopefully more casual than what he had on yesterday, but he wasn't sure and didn't feel like turning on a light) and searched for the door. It wasn't too hard to find.

Alex stumbled out into the hallway, or whatever it was called on a ship. He wanted nothing more than a cup of coffee, or some well-caffeinated tea, and thought dismally that it would have been nice if John had shown him where the kitchen was. No, not a kitchen on a ship. A galley. Shit, why did the words have to be different? It was stupid and took too much effort to remember and  _ god _ it was too early for this.

Trying to get his bearings, Alex found a staircase that led up. Praying that it would take him up to the deck, where at least he could see where he was going, he climbed the steps carefully. He had found out the hard way yesterday that not all of them were even.

At the top of the staircase there was a door, which Alex opened. To his relief, the shimmery pink light of sunrise and a cool sea breeze greeted him, and he stepped out onto the deck. Sitting at the bow of the ship in a bright purple camp chair and watching the sunrise was Lafayette. “Good morning,” Alex called.

They turned their head quickly. “Ah, you are awake!” they greeted. “You surprised me, I am usually the only one awake this early in the morning.”

Alex wandered over to them. “It's almost seven, that isn't early.”

“Tell that to John,” Lafayette laughed. “He is not going to be awake for another hour and a half unless Frances decides otherwise. Pull up a chair,  _ mon ami _ .” They gestured to a pile of similar camp chairs in all sorts of colors that lay nearby.

“Um, thanks,” Alex said. He grabbed the top chair, a blue one, and set it up next to Lafayette’s. “So what's going on today?”

“What do you mean?” they asked.

“Like, what do you guys normally do all day?” clarified Alex. “And I mean, I don't wanna seem pushy, but I kind of came here to be a lawyer, but I haven't exactly done very much lawing yet.”

“Oh, of course. You see, we were supposed to be having...how do you say? Some time in the court, some meeting, with the Empire Hotel people today, but they have postponed until Friday. We did not know until yesterday, or we would not have had you come out here until Thursday,” they explained.

“Ah,” Alex said, understanding. “Well, I'm not complaining. It's nice here. And again, not complaining, but why me? I'm in New York, you guys are in South Carolina. It seems like there'd be some lawyers closer to home.”

Lafayette frowned. “Did George not tell you?”

“George?” echoed Alex. “You know Washington?”

Laughing, they said, “Clearly he did not tell you. I was a foreign exchange student, from France of course, and I stayed with the Washingtons while in America. When I finally moved here for good, George promised that his firm would be there for me if either I ever decided to pursue something more...how did he put it? Practical and lucrative than photography, or if I ever needed a lawyer for anything. When my friend John mentioned that he could probably defeat the Hotel company from getting the permits they need more easily with a good lawyer, I knew exactly who I needed to call.”

Alex nodded thoughtfully. “Foreign exchange student, huh? Didn't really see old Washington as the type.”

Suddenly, Lafayette looked sad. “You know that he has no children?”

“He's got two daughters,” Alex said, confused.

“ _ Oui _ , but they are Martha’s, not his. And he always wanted a son. Clearly I could not be that, but it was the closest thing he got.” They smiled. “And he accepted me when my own father did not. But enough about me! What about you,  _ mon ami _ ?”

Alex was taken aback. He didn't usually get asked about himself. “What about me?”

“Your story,  _ mon cher _ !”

Uncomfortably, Alex laughed. “You don't want to hear my story,” he muttered.

“Yes, I do,” they said encouragingly.

Alex sighed. “Fine, okay. Um. I was born on this tiny little island in the Caribbean. Nevis, it's called. My dad was never in the picture, my mom died of typhoid when I was twelve.”

“I am sorry,  _ mon cher _ ,” Lafayette said genuinely.

“Thanks. Then there was a hurricane a few years later, and I started writing about a better place. Some people from my town found the writing and decided to make the silly little fantasy a reality. I guess I have a way with words. They raised enough money to send me to America, I somehow managed to get a scholarship at Columbia and do my undergrad and law school in five years. Bounced around a bunch of firms before Washington took me in, I guess. I like working there, but someday I want to make it big. Not running little cases here and there, but, you know, like  _ real _ cases. Big legislation and all, Supreme Court shit. Someday,” Alex sighed longingly. Suddenly realizing that he had blurted out quite a lot very quickly to someone he didn't know very well, he apologized. “I'm sorry, am I talking too much?”

“Not at all,  _ mon ami _ ,” Lafayette responded, sounding almost amused. “I asked for your story and you gave it more willingly than most do. I like knowing things about people from the start. It leads to less secrets later in a friendship.”

“That's very wise,” Alex replied. He agreed with that statement. The less secrets in a friendship, the better. That was one of the reasons he didn't really consider Burr to be his friend. Aaron Burr had too many secrets. Alex didn't know what the man was thinking, ever. It was almost spooky how good of a poker face he had.

“Thank you,  _ mon cher _ !” Lafayette said cheerfully. They glanced at their wrist, where there was a pretty crystal watch. “John should be out fairly soon. Oh, a warning, do not expect John to be as forthcoming with his own story as you and I have been. He seems very open and friendly and he is, but you will notice that for a while, he talks quite a lot and says very little. It takes a while for him to trust someone.”

Alex nodded. “So...I'm guessing I shouldn't ask about Frances’ mother?”

Lafayette winced. “Ah, best stay away from that particular topic,  _ mon cher _ . I will tell you that her name was Martha Manning, and that she has passed away. But if John wishes you to know the details, he will tell you himself. It is not my place.”

“Of course,” Alex acknowledged. As intrigued as he was by this turtle-loving young man, his freckles and his daughter and his secrets, he would never want to push boundaries. He truly wished that there was a polite way to ask Lafayette if he had any sort of a chance with John. But asking “Hey, so this friend of yours, the one with a three-year-old daughter, is he like, 100% straight?” didn't seem like a very smart course of action. “So, you’re the photographer?” he changed the subject hastily.

“ _ Oui _ , among other things!” Lafayette said brightly. “I also handle publicity, fundraising, and I of course assist with keeping the beaches clear and dark when it is time for the turtles to hatch. See, it is very important there is no...how do you say, false light?”

“Artificial lights?” Alex provided.

“Ah, yes,  _ merci _ . It is very important that there is no artificial lights around when the babies are hatching, or they will get confused and head towards the land rather than the sea.”

“I think John mentioned that yesterday,” remembered Alex.

Lafayette gave him a tiny smirk. “And you, of course, hung upon his every word.”

Alex blinked. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Ah, nothing,  _ mon cher _ ,” they dismissed. They turned their head towards the door, which was opening. “John, you are up early today!” they called.

Laurens stepped out onto the deck. He was holding Frances, who appeared to be asleep with her head on his shoulder. “Not by choice, believe me,” he answered as he walked over to join them. “This little pumpkin came and woke me up, then fell back asleep on our way up topside.” He smiled at Alex. “I hope you slept well?”

“Just fine, thank you.”

“Again, I’m sorry for making you come out here almost a week early. We truly didn’t know that the court date was being delayed.”

Alex was quick to reassure him. “Oh, no, it’s fine! Hey, it means I don’t have to spend as much time with Aaron. My coworker, he’s...well, he’s interesting. Except he’s the opposite of interesting.”

John laughed softly. “Well, then I’m glad we could help you out. Laf, you up for going to town and getting breakfast at Revel’s Diner? Alex, you’re welcome to join us, of course.”

“Please do join us,” Lafayette said. “I’m sure you will love the diner that John is referring to. It has the best bread of just about any place but Paris.”

Alex was a little surprised that he was being included so immediately and so kindly in these people's lives, but he wasn't going to complain. “That sounds wonderful,” he said truthfully.

“Great!” John said. “Frances, baby, you gotta wake up, gal. We’re going to Revel’s.”

The kid’s head popped up immediately. Her bright green-brown eyes were excited and wide awake. Alex doubted she had been asleep to begin with. “Will Peggy be there?”

“It’s Monday, baby, she’s at school. But Eliza and Angelica will be,” John tried to console his suddenly disappointed daughter.

“Can I have waffles?” Frances asked eagerly.

“Sure thing.”

A wide grin split the little girl’s face, showing two big dimples on her cheeks, which were freckled like her dad’s. “Then okay!” she agreed.

Lafayette had begun putting away the camp chairs. “Well, as long as the princess approves of the plan,” they teased. Frances beamed at being called a princess as her dad put her down.

“You’ve gotta walk there, baby,” John said to Frances’ sudden pout.

“Hmph,” she said huffily, and turned her back on her dad, looking pleadingly at Lafayette.

“ _ Non, ma cherie _ ,” they laughed. “If your dad says you are walking, you are walking.”

Frances stuck her tongue out at turned towards a very surprised Alex with big, soft eyes. “Pweease?” she asked him.

Sputtering, Alex said, “I can’t do anything about it!” He squirmed uncomfortably as the little girl turned her puppy-dog eyes up several notches and actually batted her eyelashes. “John, tell her I can’t do anything,” he begged.

Laughing, John stepped in and saved him. “Frances, if you stop badgering us to carry you, I’ll buy you a cookie at Revel’s, okay?” That did the trick. Frances nodded happily and started bouncing over to the ladder that went down to the beach. John caught her hand firmly and pulled her back. “No climbing without help,” he reminded her.

They all got down onto the beach without further incident, to Alex’s relief. John and Lafayette led him down the road towards the little town in the center of the island. “What’s the town called?” Alex asked.

“It’s all called Sandoval. Sandoval Island, Sandoval Village,” John explained.

“Sandoval Ice Cream Parlor,” Lafayette chimed in, making Frances giggle. They winked at her and continued listing off names. “Sandoval Beach, Sandoval Mall, Sandoval Restaurant, Sandoval Hotel…”

“I get it,” Alex said.

But Lafayette wasn’t done. “Sandoval Pharmacy, Sandoval High School…”

“Laf!” John said. “Shut up.”

Frances gasped. “Daddy, that’s not nice to tell them.”

John winced. “Sorry, baby.”

Very sternly, Frances said seriously, “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to them.”

Shooting Lafayette a look that said  _ if you laugh at me right now, you are dead _ , John said, “I’m sorry, Lafayette.”

“That’s better,” Frances said, satisfied. “Hurry up, hurry up, we’re almost there!” she squealed, tugging her dad along the road towards the little town more quickly.

The town seemed to be only a few blocks of little shops, buildings, and houses. Right at the front of the town stood a small, pretty diner with a painted sign reading “REVEL’S DINER” above the door and a smaller sign on the door that proclaimed the diner as being open. There weren’t many people outside. Apparently 7:30 AM wasn’t a very popular hour in this town. John opened the door to the diner and Frances slipped inside, bouncing slightly as she made a beeline for a particular booth along the row of windows and against the wall. A very pretty young woman with a blue dress, round face, and dark hair bustled over to her as the other three walked in more slowly.

“Hi, Frances!” she said. “Did you bring your daddy today, or is it just you?”

Frances smiled and pointed at the door, where John, Lafayette, and Alex were just entering. “I brought him,” she said proudly. “And look, ‘liza, we’ve got a new friend.”

The woman looked up. “So you do,” she said. “Hello, you three! What can I get for you today, John? And you, Lafayette? And who  _ is  _ your friend?”

Alex stepped forward and introduced himself. “Alexander Hamilton,” he said.

“Elizabeth Schuyler,” she responded, shaking his hand warmly. “Call me Eliza. My sisters and I own this diner. How do you know John and Laf and li’l Frances?”

“I’m actually their lawyer,” Alex explained. At Eliza’s confused frown, he elaborated, “I’m here to help protect the beach so the sea turtles can keep nesting there.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Well, welcome to Sandoval Island. I hope you can help the turtles, they’re fantastic. It’d be a shame to let that hotel build all over the beach.”

“Indeed it would be,” Alex agreed. He slid into the booth next to Lafayette, so he was sitting across from John. Frances was closest to the wall on the other side. Eliza handed them all menus, which were fairly simple but cute, laminated cream colored paper with neat, typed cursive text.

“Well, pick what you want, I’ll be back in a minute to take your orders. Want something to drink?” she asked.

Suddenly remembering that he hadn’t had any caffeine that morning, Alex requested a cup of coffee. John got iced tea, and Lafayette had teased him about being a ‘real Southern belle, Laurens’. But John had gotten back at them when they ordered some fancy tea, calling them a ‘snooty European noble’. Frances had just gotten a cup of milk. Eliza had whisked off to the kitchen to fetch their drinks.

“The Schuylers are a pretty big family around here,” John told Alex. “The three sisters moved here a few years ago from New York, when they finally got fed up with their father.”

New York...Schuyler. That sounded very familiar. “Who’s their father?” Alex wondered.

“Yeah, he’s Senator Schuyler,” John explained.

Alex nodded. He knew who that was, and he didn’t like him. He didn’t agree with any of the man’s politics, and was glad that it seemed like Eliza wasn’t on good terms with him. He already liked Eliza a lot, it would have been a disappointment if she had agreed with her father’s bigoted, old-fashioned ideas. “Who are her sisters?”

“Angelica’s probably cooking right now,” John told him. “And Peggy...”

Frances looked up. “She’s my babysitter,” she bragged.

John laughed. “Exactly. She’s still in high school, but she works at Revel’s when she’s not at school or takin’ care of Fran.”

Lafayette had a slightly wistful look in their eyes. “Angie’s so pretty,” they sighed.

Eliza came back out of the kitchen with a tray of drinks balanced on one hand expertly. “And she is not interested in you, Gilbert.”

Lafayette glared. “Nobody calls me Gilbert.”

“Well, I just did.” Eliza placed their tea down in front of them, accidentally-on-purpose splashing a little bit of the scalding liquid onto their hand. They yelped, and Eliza apologized innocently. “Oh, sorry! Here, have a napkin.”

They mopped up the tiny spill with a grumpy look as Eliza passed out the rest of the drinks. “Thank you,” Alex said, taking his coffee and sipping it gratefully.

“Have you all decided what you want to eat?” Eliza asked.

“I want waffles!” Frances announced.

“You got it, baby. And you three?” She gazed at them expectantly.

“Actually, I think my daughter’s got the right idea,” John said. “Waffles for me, too.”

“Me too,  _ cherie _ ,” Lafayette added.

Eliza turned to Alex. “And you?”

“I’ve always been one for breaking away from the norm, can I get some pancakes?” he laughed.

“Coming right up. I’ll see if Angie wants to come out and say hi, she’s a bit busy, but she might want to meet the newest member of the turtle crew,” Eliza said. She glanced over at Lafayette, who nodded. She nodded back and left. Alex wondered what that was about, but then realized what she had said and forgot.

“The newest member of the turtle crew?” Alex asked tentatively.

“That’s what they call us,” John said. “The turtle crew. Well, it’s usually the Revolutionary Set because of the ship, but…And you don’t, you know, have to be part of it if you don’t wanna be. I mean, you’re welcome to be, but I get that you’re just doing your job.”

Alex thought for a second. “The Revolutionary Set. I like it. I’d love to be considered a part of your turtle crew.”

John grinned happily. “Welcome aboard!”

A tall woman in a dark peach blouse and faded blue jeans, with an apron around her waist and her hair tied back, wandered out of the kitchen. “My sister tells me there’s a new Revolutionary in town,” she said.

Alex smiled at her. “Hi! I’m Alex. You must be Angelica.”

“That’s me,” she confirmed.

“Hi, Angie!” Frances said cheerily.

Angelica’s hardened, slightly standoffish face softened as she looked at the little girl. “Hi, Frances! How’s my favorite customer today?”

“Good,” Frances said. “Are you making my waffles?”

Angelica clapped her hand over her mouth in mock horror. “Oh, no! I think I forgot to put them in the waffle-maker.” Frances looked crestfallen. “I’m just kidding, darlin’. They’re cooking, don’t worry. I should go check them, though. I love my sister to death, but she’d burn a salad,” she told Alex confidentially. “That’s why she’s the waiter, and Peggy and I cook.”

“Shut up, Angie!” called Eliza.

Angelica rolled her eyes and went back into the kitchen.

“I like these people,” Alex said suddenly.

“Good!” John said. “You know, most people don't really like South Carolina, because of all the conservative stuff, but Sandoval Island is amazing.”

“I've noticed,” Alex replied.

“Oh, Angie?” John called towards the kitchen.

“What?” she yelled back.

“Keep it warm for us and make another plate of pancakes. Herc’s coming along in a minute.”

“Sure.”

Another person Alex hadn't met. “Who's Herc?” he asked.

Lafayette and John exchanged glances. “Hercules Mulligan, he needs no introduction,” they said simultaneously.

That didn't help. “Um…” Alex said.

“You'll see. He's hard to miss.” John looked over at Frances, who was currently busy blowing bubbles in her glass of milk. “Fran, what are you doing?”

“Makin’ bubbles,” she said matter-of-factly. She took a deep breath and blew out again into her blue striped bendy straw. It made a noise like boiling water. Alex almost snorted into his coffee at John’s face.

“That's not very polite, Frances. You gotta have better manners that that,” he said weakly.

She stopped blowing bubbles for a second. “Why’s it bad manners?”

“It just is.”

“Why?”

John groaned. “Because I said so.”

“That’s not an answer.”

John tapped her snub nose quickly. “Yes, it is. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I  _ said _ so.”

Frances pouted, but stopped blowing bubbles.

At that moment, the door to the diner swung open, and a tall black man with a blue beanie and a floral shirt walked in. “Yo,” he called.

“Hi, Herc!” John greeted brightly. “This is Alex. Alex, this is Hercules Mulligan. He's the other one of the Revolutionary Set, though he moved off the ship last year. He keeps the honorary title, though.”

Hercules grabbed a chair and swung it around to sit at the end of the table, since there was no room left in the booth. “Yep, that's me,” he said. To John, he said, “You got me pancakes, right?”

“I did,” John reassured him.

Eliza came out of the kitchen, this time with two trays balanced on her hands. “Three orders of waffles, one kiddie-sized, and two pancakes,” she announced, placing the plates down on the table. “Enjoy!”

“Keep us company,” Alex cajoled. “There isn't anyone else in the diner, you can hang out with us for a little while.”

Eliza laughed in his face. “I've got to get back to work. Maybe later.” She waved over her shoulder as she walked away.

“Nice try, kid,” Hercules said sympathetically. “But good luck with that.”

“What?” Alex said defensively. Eliza was nice, that was all! He just wanted to talk to her some more. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was gorgeous or anything.

God, why did everyone have to be so pretty?

“Believe me, man, I've tried. It's just not gonna happen.” Hercules took a big bite of his pancake, soaking it in the maple syrup on the side of the plate.

“I wasn't trying to make anything happen,” Alex protested. He, too, started eating his pancakes. At the first bite, he almost forgot about how pretty Eliza was as he just kind of melted. “Oh, my God,” he mumbled around the food in his mouth.

Lafayette was laughing at him. “Did we not tell you the food here is amazing?” they asked.

Alex couldn't even answer. His eyes were closed, and he kept shoveling more bites of the sweet, warm, fluffy pancake into his mouth, barely pausing to swallow or dip the bites into the syrup (which, to his shock and delight, was real maple syrup and not the sticky fake kind).

Just then, the door opened. Alex had his back to the door and was too busy stuffing his face with the best pancake he had ever tasted to turn around and look. He heard Eliza rush out of the kitchen and welcome and seat whoever had just walked in without really listening. But he instantly recognized the voice that followed.

“Well, look who it is,” someone sneered.

Mid-bite, Alex looked up slowly. He swallowed, feeling the fury rise up in his stomach at the sight of the two people who had just sat down at the table next to the booth where Alex and the others sat. “Thomas,” he said coolly. “James. What are you doing here?” The temperature in the diner seemed to have dropped about ten degrees.

Eliza cleared her throat. “Can I take your drink orders, sirs?”

Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were both glaring at Alex. “Coffee, black,” Jefferson said, not looking at her. “He'll have the same.”

Eliza nodded, glanced between Jefferson and Alex a few times before turning and leaving to get the coffees.

“I could ask you the same question,  _ Alexander _ ,” Jefferson said.

“I happen to be working with the fine people sitting with me here,” Alex replied stiffly.

Jefferson raised his eyebrows. “Really? You never struck me as the sort to defend a hopeless cause, Alexander.” His tone was carefully outwardly pleasant, but it masked clear, unadulterated hatred. Then he snapped his fingers like he was suddenly remembering something. “Oh, wait. Your entire  _ life  _ is a hopeless cause!”

Alex clenched his hand into a fist. See, this was why he left Jefferson’s firm. Well, actually, he had been fired. But he would have left anyway. “I wish I could say the same to you, but you don't have enough of a life to even call it hopeless.”

James Madison looked expectantly at Jefferson. That was usually his role in these passive-aggressive arguments, glancing back and forth between the two participants like he was watching a tennis match, occasionally actually contributing or egging Jefferson on.

Jefferson came back at Alex with, “Well, of course, I have much more of a life than I did before you were fired. Now that I don't have to clean up all of your disasters, I actually have time to do other things!”

“Now that I have a competent boss, would you believe that none of the ‘disasters’ you seem so fond of recounting have repeated themselves?” Alex shot back.

Jefferson actually laughed. “You're calling Washington a competent boss? He sent you to South Carolina to save a couple of stupid turtle eggs from being bulldozed over.”

Out of his peripheral vision, Alex could see John’s metaphorical hackles raise and was quick to counter with, “At least he didn't send me down here to make sure that some defenseless baby turtles  _ would _ definitely get bulldozed over so some hotel company could make a little extra profit.”

“At least I'm not a soft sap who cares about some stupid reptiles,” Jefferson snapped.

Alex was pretty sure that Hercules actually reached out to restrain John from jumping up and punching Jefferson at this point. “At least  _ I'm  _ not so heartless that I'd ensure the deaths of several baby animals to make money!” Alex was pretty sure they were past the point of halfway concealed insults by this time and fully expected Jefferson to come back at him with a particularly stinging jibe. What he wasn't expecting was for Frances to start crying loudly.

Everyone turned towards her. She made quite a sight, maple syrup dribbling down her pale green shirt and tears pouring from her eyes. Even Jefferson looked slightly uncomfortable and regretful. Alex was pretty sure he hadn't realized that there was a three-year-old sitting privy to his and Alex’s fight. “I don't want the baby turtles to die!” she wailed.

“Um,” Alex said awkwardly.

Luckily, John was handling it. He gathered her up in his arms and hugged her tightly. “Don't worry, me and Laf and Hercules and Alex won't let the baby turtles die,” he promised her, glaring at Jefferson, who had the dignity to look ashamed.

Eliza chose that moment to come out of the kitchen, though Alex was pretty sure from her expression that she had heard the whole conversation. “Is there a problem, gentlemen?” she asked John, Alex, and Jefferson mainly.

“No, ma’am,” Jefferson tried to reassure her, but shrank away meekly at one pointed glare from the young woman.

“John? Frances, darling, are you alright?”

The little girl was wiping her eyes with sticky hands. “Yeah, I'm alright, ‘liza.”

“Good.” Eliza turned to Jefferson and Madison. “Now, we're a very accepting establishment, of course, but we draw the line at making toddlers cry on our premises. That's one of our rules, right up there with no smoking and no nudity. So unless you apologize to this young girl right now, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave.”

Madison held his hand up defensively. “I did not make the kid cry,” he said. Eliza shot him down with a single, icy glance. “Sorry,” he said immediately to Frances, though he really appeared to be addressing John.

“‘pology accepted,” the girl muttered. “Wasn't  _ you _ being mean anyway.”

At that, Eliza turned her full attention and all the power of her death glare on Jefferson. “Your turn,” she informed him.

It looked like Jefferson was struggling quite a bit with his ego as he forced himself to apologize to Frances. “I'm sorry, kid. I don't really want the turtles to die, it's just a job.”

Frances considered that for a second, then stuck her tongue out and blew a very loud raspberry. She turned away from him and went back to eating her last waffle.

Alex had to hold back his laughter at Jefferson’s offended look. He  _ really _ wanted to say something about Jefferson getting told by a toddler, but figured it probably wouldn't be beneficial to aggravate the situation any more than it already was.

Eliza nodded sharply. “Thank you, sirs. I'll be right back with your coffees.”

Nobody dared to talk or even look at each other for a good couple of minutes. Lafayette patted Alex’s knee under the table proudly, but other than that, the Revolutionaries focused on eating the rest of their breakfasts and pointedly ignoring the two men at the other table. Eliza came back out and set down their coffees, taking extra care to pull the same trick she had earlier when she had spilled a drop of tea onto Lafayette’s hand with Jefferson. Only this wasn't a drop, this was a huge splash of the scalding coffee that landed straight into the back of the rude lawyer's hand.

“Oh, I'm so sorry, sir! Let me get that!” Eliza apologized falsely, roughly patting at his hand and the table with a wad of napkins she had in her apron pocket.

Jefferson glared. “It's fine,” he spat. He wiped his hand deliberately on his napkin.

“Really, I am so sorry. Your drink is on the house for the inconvenience.”

Now Alex was really trying not to laugh. Eliza had sized Jefferson up instantly. A two-dollar cup of coffee for free was nothing remotely close to making up for Jefferson’s loss of dignity at his yelp when the coffee had hit his skin. “That's very kind,” Jefferson said stiffly.

“Not at all,” Eliza insisted. “Entirely my fault. And once again, I am so sorry. Are you ready to order?”

“I need another minute,” Madison interjected quickly.

“Of course, sir.” She turned to the Revolutionaries, who had all finished their food. “Are you folks ready for your bill?”

“Yes, thank you, Eliza,” John said. He was thanking her for more than just the bill, Alex could tell.

“Let me pay,” Alex offered impulsively, despite the fact that he only had about thirty bucks on him and a credit card without much...credit.

“Nah, I got it,” John replied.

Alex wanted to insist, but he really didn't have the money. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Frances, stop licking the syrup off your plate, you goof.”

She blinked up at him, her face covered with the sticky substance. “But I didn't wanna waste it.”

John rolled his eyes. “Fine. But when we get home, I am scrubbing your face off with the roughest washcloth I can find.”

Frances squeaked with dismay and tried to wipe the syrup off her face with her napkin, which didn't work very well.

As Alex and the others filed out of the booth, he heard Jefferson snort audibly. Alex glanced back to see him giving Lafayette a disgusted look. Alex realized that Lafayette was wearing a long skirt that day, and their back had stiffened at Jefferson’s sound of repulsion. They didn't turn around, though, and Alex was tempted to jump in and defend his new friend. He realized, though, that they had it covered. Behind their back, they were holding up both of their middle fingers and pointing them calmly at Jefferson, whose normally smooth, brown face was turning red.

Alex stifled a snort as he followed his friends out of the diner.

“So you know those two  _ bât _ ...ahem. Those two men?” asked Lafayette once they were a little bit away from the diner.

Alex groaned. “I have the distinct displeasure.”

“Who  _ were _ those guys? They're jerks,” Hercules said.

Alex looked over at Frances, who was fast asleep in John’s arms after stuffing herself with waffles. “Yeah, they're jerks. Jefferson used to be my boss, for like a month. But we...didn't get along.”

“Clearly,” John said shortly.

“Sorry about that, by the way. I didn't mean to make Frances upset,” Alex said quickly.

“It wasn't your fault. I only hope you're as good in court as you were back there with your insults, because if you make me break my promise to my daughter about saving those turtles, it won't be Jefferson you have to watch out for.” John didn't sound like that was an idle threat.

“Understood,” Alex said. “I really only agreed to take this case because I'd get to go up against Jefferson and Madison, to be honest. I would never lose this case. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.”   

John laughed. “That's as good a reason as any. But I just want to warn you, Empire Hotels is...Hercules, explain.”

Hercules cleared his throat. “Right. So, this company is really rich. Like, bribe the judge and jury and get away with it rich.”

_ That _ wasn't good. Alex could win any case in an honest court, he knew that, even against Jefferson. But he couldn't guarantee a victory over a weighted jury. “How likely are they to do that?” he asked seriously.

“There's a pretty good chance,” replied Hercules.

“Fantastic,” Alex groaned. “By the way, I never really caught who you are in all this? Do you work at LPST?”

“Sorta, not really. I actually run a fabric shop in town, but I do some publicity stuff with Laf.”

Alex tried not to show his surprise that this man had a fabric shop, of all things. “So, you and Lafayette do publicity. That could work in our favor.”

“What are you thinking,  _ mon ami _ ?” Lafayette wondered.

The gears in Alex’s mind were spinning. “Well, if enough people knew what Empire Hotels was doing, what them building on the beaches here would mean...I mean, the public usually isn't very fond of companies that murder baby turtles. And if they don't have customers, there isn't much of a point building anything, is there?”

John nodded slowly. “I like the way you think.” They were almost back to the beach where  _ The Revolution  _ was located. “They'll do anything to get their hotel built, so we have to do anything to stop them.”

“I prefer to be honest, but if they aren't, then I don't have any problems with playing dirty,” Alex informed him.

Lafayette grinned. “Then let us get started,  _ non _ ?” they proposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was rather self-indulgent, I guess, I love Frances so much. Thanks for reading! Tell me what you thought? <3 ~Clare


	3. The Sound of Angels' Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first storm of the first storm, and Alexander connects with the wise-for-her-years Frances.

A few hours later, they were all sitting on the deck of  _ The Revolution  _ in the camp chairs, talking avidly. Frances was lying on her stomach a few feet away, doodling in a coloring book full of sea creatures. The tip of her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated. She wasn't paying attention to the grown-ups’ conversation. The dolphin she was intent on coloring silver was far more interesting.

“So you're the lawyer Laf’s honorary dad sent over?” Hercules said interestedly.

Alex nodded. “My firm doesn't usually handle cases like this, but George made an exception. Besides, he knows I'd never pass up an opportunity to go up against Jefferson and Madison.” He made a face, scrunching his nose up in distaste.

“Are they always as bad as they were back there?” John wondered.

“Always,” confirmed Alex. “I'm not surprised that they're working for a big, corrupt corporation, to be honest. God, am I glad I got out of there.”

Lafayette frowned. “And the loud one, he gave me a rude look. Was that…”

“Yeah, probably. I was gonna say something but, honestly, I wasn't sure if I know you well enough to defend you. Plus you seemed to be able to take care of yourself.”

Hercules suddenly looked very angry. “Laf? What did they do?”

Lafayette attempted to explain. “The loud one, Jefferson. He made some noise at me as I walked past.”

“Do you want me to fight him?” offered Hercules. “I could probably take him down with one hand.”

They laughed. “ _ Merci, mon ami _ . But it is fine, I am quite used to it.”

“Jefferson’s just an asshole. Don't pay any attention to him.” Alex offered Lafayette a smile, which they returned. “But did you see how quickly Eliza shut him down? That was  _ awesome _ !”

Hercules nodded fondly. “That woman is fantastic. She's always soft-spoken and sweet and all until someone does something that she doesn't like, then  _ bam _ ! She burns them to a crisp.”

Lafayette got a faraway look in their eyes. “And Angelica…”

“You don't stand a  _ chance _ with that one,” John insisted. He looked at Alex. “They've liked her since they moved here. Angie’s trans, too. Laf bonded with her over shared experience, but she is  _ so _ not interested.”

“How do you know?” muttered Lafayette.

Hercules gave them a sympathetic look. “Buddy,  _ everyone _ knows that except for you. Because you refuse to see it.”

“I still think I have a chance,” they insisted.

“It's hopeless, Laf. Give it up.” John rolled his eyes.

Lafayette stuck their tongue out petulantly and changed the subject. “Will the turtle nests be safe in the storm tomorrow?” they asked.

Alex felt his heart skip a beat. “Storm tomorrow?” he echoed nervously.

John didn't look too worried. “It's not gonna be a very big one. The nests should be fine. They're pretty high up on the beach, unless the waves get  _ huge _ , it should all be fine. And it doesn't seem like the waves are gonna be that big.”

That was reassuring. Still, Alex felt his heart beating just a little too fast, his breathing a little too shallow. He didn't like storms. He especially didn't like storms while he was on a small island. “And you said it was gonna be tomorrow?”

John was eyeing him strangely. “Yeah, late tonight or really early tomorrow is what the forecast says. You okay?”

Alex nodded, a bit too quickly. “I'm fine.” Maybe he could catch the ferry back to the mainland this afternoon, find a hotel to hide out in until the storm was over, then come back with some excuse or another. But he had already mentioned the hurricane to Lafayette, that morning, what if they guessed what the problem was? Alex didn't need anyone to know that thunder and lightning sent him into a blind panic. “Just curious,” he added.

“Honestly, the storm will probably last for a few hours and then die down,” John told him. “It really isn't gonna be a big one. Alex? You look really pale, are you sure you're okay?”

Irritated at his own obviousness, Alex nodded again insistently. “I'm  _ fine _ ,” he asserted. “So, about the turtles. How many typically nest here every year, and what is the importance of this colony to the overall population?” He knew that John had already explained all of that, but he  _ needed _ to change the subject.

John must have understood, despite the confused and suspicious look on his face, because he began explaining again.

Alex didn't really listen. He was trying to figure out what he would say when he left later that afternoon, what excuse he could come up with that would be within reasonable doubt. His mildly panicked brain couldn't seem to come up with anything, though, and he gave up. He would just have to ride the storm out and pray that nobody saw him curled up in his room with his hands over his ears.

A few minutes into John’s speech, Hercules glanced at his watch. “Well, I've got to go. I open shop at noon for tourist rush hour, even if nobody's ever here on Mondays.” He stood up and collapsed the chair he had been sitting in, a red one. “Let me know what you want me and Laf to do if we end up needing to use some underhand tricks to get rid of the hotel people.” He waved and climbed down the ladder.

“Bye!” John called, and Alex echoed him dutifully. But Lafayette was watching Alex with a knowing glint in their eyes, mixed with a little bit of pity. Alex didn't want their pity.

“So other than getting the people on our side, what would you suggest,  _ mon ami _ ?” they asked.

Relieved, Alex said, “Well, it depends. Technically, should be illegal for them to build on the beaches here because of the turtles. But you already knew that, of course, and so do they. So they have to convince the Secretary of Commerce that they either won’t disturb the turtle habitat or that they’ll fix everything they messed up after the fact. And like you said, most people who aren’t biologists wouldn’t know enough or care enough to realize that they probably won’t do that. Unfortunately, if they say that they’re going to fix it all, and they do  _ have _ the resources to fix it, but they if they  _ don’t _ fix it, the government can’t actually do anything since they’ve already granted the permit.

“Now, that’s one way they could do it, which is wrong but technically not illegal, even if it should be. If they choose to do that, there’s a good chance I’ll be able to just shut them down in court with good enough testimony from you guys. But, from what you mentioned about them having enough money to bribe the judge or cheat altogether...Well, it’s more likely that they’ll go that route. More guaranteed win for them. I'll have to wait and see what their approach in the courtroom is going to be like, and I'll prepare a stance for us either way. Knowing Jefferson, he's going to try and get around using money. He's used to doing that,” Alex said bitterly. “So in that case, we're going to use the tactic of turning their potential customers against them, make it impossible to justify the cost of development for what profit they'll get.”

“George King, who owns Empire Hotels, will  _ hate _ that,” John said emphatically. “He says that his customers’ love is the most important thing in the world to him. It's all bull...um, ridiculous, of course.” Even though Frances wasn't really listening, John clearly didn't want to swear around her. “The only thing important to him is money.”

Alex had encountered plenty of people like that in his life. “Alright. I think I've got enough to start preparing our defense. I'll go start writing on my laptop, it's in the room I slept in last night.” He stood up with an air of finality.

“The court date isn't even until Friday,” John said, mildly confused. “Do you need to start now?”

“I like to get ahead,” Alex explained.

“Well, let us know if you need any more information,” John said. “And thank you.”

“No problem.” Alex went below deck, down the stairs and the hallway and into his little room. He flipped on the light, which was a barely covered light bulb in the middle of the ceiling. It cast an eery glow over the room, causing shadows to appear in places one wouldn't expect. He pulled out his laptop, plugged it in, and began typing. 

At first, the document was a mess of planning and scraps of ideas. As time went on, though, Alex pulled all of the fragments together into a very cohesive argument. When he next glanced at the clock in the bottom corner of the screen, he was shocked to see that it was 5:30. Had he really been writing for over almost six hours? Oh, well. He had learned by now that when that happened, he needed to check to see if he was alright physically--more than once, his writing sprees had lasted for almost twenty-four hours, and had led to him actually passing out when he tried to stand up. He felt alright, though. So he turned back to the screen and kept writing, polishing, editing his words. They needed to be perfect to strike Jefferson down off that high horse of his.

“Hey, um, Alex?”

Startled, Alex looked up. John had poked his head into the room and looked slightly guilty. “Hi,” Alex said.

“Um. It’s almost eight o’clock.”

“I know,” Alex said. Though to be perfectly honest, he’d had no idea what time it was before John had said that.

John frowned slightly. “Okay. It’s just, you’d been down here for a long time, Laf and I were wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us? I already put Frances to bed.”

“Sure,” Alex said absently. “Let me just finish this paragraph.” He looked back down at his laptop and began typing again.

“You never stop working, do you?” John said, a hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Why on Earth would I do that?” Alex asked, looking back up and cracking a smile.

“To come spend time with your new friends? C’mon, dude. You haven’t eaten since this morning, unless you’ve got some secret hidden snacks down here. Which you probably do, honestly, what do I know? Anyway, you remember where the galley is?” Alex nodded. “That’s where me and Laf will me. Try not to be too loud walkin’ down the hall, I don’t want to have to read Frances  _ another _ four books.” John slipped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him. A warmth welled up in Alex’s chest. It wasn’t often that someone was worried about his well-being when he was working.

He finished the paragraph quickly and closed his laptop. When he stood up, he felt a little lightheaded and had to grab at his bunk to keep himself upright while the black spots faded from his eyes.  _ I probably should have had at least something to drink _ , he realized with regret, and stumbled out of the room and down the hallway.

John and Lafayette were waiting for him, sitting around the little table in the galley. “Look who decided to join us!” Lafayette said. They winked.

Alex rolled his eyes. He felt like he was back in his dorm at Princeton again, where the other people on his floor would tease him whenever he stepped out of his room. They all seemed to think that he needed to get out more, but they didn’t understand that he didn’t have time for that. He had too much work to do. “Hi.”

“Hi!” John said. “Sorry we haven’t got much in the way of real food, but you’re welcome to anything in any of those cupboards or the fridge. Laf and I already ate, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Alex replied. “I mostly just needed something to drink, actually, I forgot to bring a water bottle with me. See, if I have a water bottle next to me while I’m working, I’ll drink the whole thing without thinking about it and not have to worry about being dehydrated. But if I don’t, I literally won’t remember to go get water.”

John gestured towards the fridge. “We’ve got water. Also a surprising amount of juice, seeing as that’s the only fruit I can get Frances to eat other than bananas.”

Alex laughed. He pulled open the door to the small black fridge (also very reminisce of his dorm days) and took the cup that John reached out to him. He decided on a big glass of apple juice, since he wasn’t feeling very hungry but he knew he probably needed some sugar as well as water. Especially because dealing with the storm tonight was going to take a lot out of him. Just remembering that made his heart-rate spike, and he sat down quickly next to Lafayette.

“So, what have you written,  _ mon cher _ ?” they asked.

Alex took a gulp of the apple juice. “A lot. I mostly was working on the angle we’d take if they decided to be mostly honest. If it seems like the jury is more sympathetic towards us, that’s the one I’m gonna use. But I’ve also been thinking about things we could do if they tried to bribe anyone in their favor, and I’ve come up with a list.”

“Hit us,” John said.

“Okay, so first thing to do would be to gain local support. If everyone on the island tells tourists not to use Empire Hotel services, that should damper their business at least a little. But that’s kind of a last resort thing anyway. Hopefully, we can stop them before they even start construction anywhere on the island.”

“That would be the best course of action, yeah,” John agreed.

Alex nodded. “But if all else fails, we can at least get revenge on them. We  _ do _ need as much local support as we can get, though.”

“That should not be a problem,” Lafayette interjected. “Everyone is already on our side, you know.”

“Great! That means that the jury should be in our favor already if they aren’t being bribed. Charleston County Court, right?” Alex checked.

“Exactly,  _ mon cher _ . But actually, off the island, we are not very popular,” they said sadly.

“Because of the whole stupidly conservative thing?” Alex figured.

“ _ Oui _ . I will probably not be coming to court with you, because I would definitely turn the jury against us.” They shrugged. “It is no big deal to the islanders, but off the island, I am not as well received, as a black foreign trans person.”

Alex nodded. He understood. “As much as I’m sure we’ll miss you in court, that is probably for the best, Lafayette. Thanks for understanding.”

“Not a problem!” They smiled. “I will be staying here and taking care of little Frances, since Peggy will be at school on Friday morning.”

“That works out well, then.” Alex was about to say something else when suddenly, a crash of thunder rolled overhead. Although neither of his companions so much as glanced up, Alex could feel his breath quicken and the blood drain from his face.

Seeming to realize something was wrong, Lafayette leaned forward and placed a concerned hand on Alex’s knee. “Alex,  _ mon cher _ , are you alright?”

Their voice sounded very far away, like they were calling through a tunnel. Alex could hear the thunder still, and the blood rushing through his ears. Another clap of thunder sounded, and Alex flinched. The roaring of wind started up, the steady rush of heavily falling rain following.

“The storm started a bit earlier than we expected,” John observed.

Alex was starting to tremble, shivering. Lafayette kept their hand on his knee. “Alex? Alex, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he choked out. But he wasn’t. At the first roll of thunder, he was remembering in vivid, painful detail the hurricane that had destroyed his town on Nevis. He could hear the echoes of people screaming and crying as their homes were torn to shreds, could feel the cold wind chilling him to the bone as the rain lashed against his skin and soaked through his ragged clothing. He had wanted nothing more than for his mother to still be alive, to be sheltering him with her arms, to protect him from the storm. But there was nothing protecting him now, he couldn’t do anything but cover his neck with his arms and hope that he didn’t get hit by a flying piece of debris or buried under a collapsing building or swept into the ocean and drowned, unable to breathe or see or think…

“Alex!” John exclaimed, jerking him out of the flashback. Alex realized that he was hyperventilating and that there were tears dripping down his cheeks even though he hadn’t realized that he was crying. “Oh, my God, Alex, are you okay?”

This was so  _ stupid _ and embarrassing, and why did he have to be this weak? It was just a stupid storm, these people shouldn’t have to deal with someone they had met only yesterday having a complete breakdown because of a stupid little storm. “Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tried to reassure them, but his voice was shaking so much that he was pretty sure they knew for certain now, if they hadn’t before, that he was decidedly  _ not _ fine.

Lafayette had both of their hands on Alex’s knee now. “Alex, are you afraid of the storm?” they asked gently.

Alex wanted with all his heart to deny it, to not let them see his biggest weakness right now. He didn’t feel like baring his deepest fears to these people, despite already liking them a lot and knowing that they were probably the most natural friends he had made since coming to America. But he knew from the second that Lafayette asked that he was going to have to tell them, and he gave a tiny nod. “Yeah,” he said in a small voice. He cringed as another peal of thunder came overhead. Thunder followed lightning, oh, God, what if it hit the boat? What if the ship was set on fire by the lightning, they would all suffocate in the smoke or die in the flames, and what about little Frances?

“Alex! Focus on me,” John said. Alex snapped back into focus. John had stood up and was now standing right in front of Alex, his hands on the other man’s shoulders, holding him steady. “Listen to me, Alex, I know what it’s like to have a panic attack in front of other people, even people you barely know,” he continued. He kept his voice very level and calm. “Alex, look at me. Oh, man. Why didn’t you tell us that you were gonna have a hard time with the storm? We could’ve helped somehow.”

“Nothing you can do,” Alex mumbled. More thunder. He recoiled and hid his face, curling up into himself and trying his best to hide. He could feel himself slowly sliding off the edge of his chair, and vaguely realized that he was toppling to the ground.

Distantly, he heard Lafayette saying something along the lines of “He mentioned earlier this morning that there was a hurricane on the island he lived on as a child, do you think…” But their voice was drowned out by yet more thunder.

“Aw, shit, Alex! You gotta look at me, please,” John was pleading. Alex wondered vaguely how much time had passed since he had collapsed, but didn’t really care. The storm was still going on, he could hear it. What if the ship got filled with water and sank? No, no, that couldn’t happen, because it wasn’t floating in the first place, Alex told himself firmly.

“Nothing can hurt you in here,  _ mon cher, _ ” Lafayette said soothingly.

No, but the storm was out there, and it could hurt him. It could hurt everyone.

“Alex, we get these kinds of storms all the time. Nothing’s gonna happen, darlin’.”

If Alex hadn’t been so preoccupied with his panic over the storm, he would have taken a stronger notice of John calling him ‘darlin’. As it was, the word startled him enough to allow him to look up and take a breath that was deeper than any he had been taking. The sudden rush of oxygen made him light-headed, however, and that just made him spiral deeper into his panicked state. John’s face swam in and out of focus for a few moments, along with his and Lafayette’s voices.

“Laf, can you make sure he doesn’t fall back…”

“ _ Mon cher _ , can you hear me?”

“Alex, it’s alright…”

“Laf, I’m gonna go grab him a blanket or something, I can’t stand just watchin’ this.”

_ Sorry _ , Alex wanted to say, but he couldn’t find enough breath in his lungs to make any sound. The sound of John’s footsteps walking away blended in with the thunder and rain. Alex’s eyes were squeezed shut tightly, only barely aware of Lafayette’s hand running up and down his arm. A little while later, they began talking.

“Alex,  _ mon ami, calmez vous, s'il vous plait. _ ”

“ _ Je ne peux pas _ ,” Alex replied in French without thinking about it.

“ _ Oui, vous êtes en mesure de se calmer, je promets. _ John,  _ merci _ ! Here, Alex, I am going to put this blanket around you. Please try to slow your breaths,  _ mon cher _ .”

A soft blanket was tucked around his shoulders tightly. He clutched at the edges gratefully. “ _ Merci, _ ” he murmured.

“It’s nothing, Alexander. I do not wish to do anything without your permission, because I know that some people do not like to be touched while they are frightened, but may I give you a hug?” they asked. Alex nodded without giving it too much thought. Almost instantly, Lafayette had their arms around him and was holding him tightly. “I will not let the storm get you, Alex,” they said quietly. “Do not worry.”

Alex felt ridiculous that he was having to be calmed down like a child, but he couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t grateful. And he couldn’t stop himself from leaning into Lafayette a little bit as they rubbed his back gently. “ _ Merci _ ,” he said again. He could finally slow his breathing down to an almost normal pace, although he still felt incredibly panicky.

“Alex, are you feeling any better?” John asked softly.

Alex started to nod, but as the thunder crashed again, he flinched and shivered violently. Lafayette pulled him closer. “S-sorry,” he said miserably.

“I understand,” John told him. “Are you sure there’s nothing else we can do? The storm’s gonna keep going for another several hours.”

Alex almost broke down crying again.  _ God _ , he hated this. He was twenty-four, for God’s sake. He should be over this childish fear.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Lafayette asked. “Perhaps you could sleep through the storm listening to music or something like that.”

Sleep sounded wonderful but unattainable. Alex nodded anyway. Curling up in a ball and hiding under some covers was the best idea he had heard all day. John and Lafayette helped him stand up and walk down the hallway. He collapsed gratefully onto his bunk and pulled the blankets all over his head. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “And sorry. I didn’t mean to...do all that.”

“Don’t you even worry about it,” John told him. He sounded very concerned. “Are you gonna be okay now?”

Alex shrugged, even though he knew they couldn’t see him anymore after he had buried himself in the covers. “I dunno,” he muttered. “Maybe.” There was another clap of thunder, and Alex curled up tighter.

“I think I will take that as a no,  _ mon cher _ .” Lafayette sat down on the edge of Alex’s bunk. They put their hand on Alex’s back carefully. “Would you like us to stay for a little while?”

Oh, God, did Alex want them both to stay. How long had it been since anyone had actually taken care of him? But he knew he couldn’t keep them there, couldn’t just  _ ask _ them to stay with him. So he didn’t say anything.

Lafayette sighed. They started rubbing Alex’s back again, and said, “Well, fall asleep if you can,  _ mon cher _ . Go to sleep.”

Absolutely exhausted, Alex did. He slipped into a dark ocean of dreams, floating in silence and peace. But when an incredibly loud peal of thunder rolled out, he woke with a cry on his lips and sat bolt upright. The room was empty. John and Lafayette had left at some point.

Suddenly unable to stay in bed, Alex stood up and started pacing. The small, dark room seemed to be suffocating him, and he walked out into the hallway on impulse. He barely managed to stay on his feet as another, even louder clap of thunder sounded.

A door a few feet away flew open, and to Alex’s surprise, Frances ran out. She looked terrified, and almost ran right into Alex. She yelped and fell backwards.

“Hey there!” he whispered. “Did the thunder wake you, too?”

She nodded, wide-eyed. “The angels must be  _ really _ mad,” she said solemnly. “I’m scared.”

Alex slid down the wall to sit next to her. “I don’t think that’s what the thunder is saying,” he said quietly. “See, during a storm, there’s a lot of energy in the air, right? And that energy turns into electricity.” He was trying to explain it in a very simple way, but Frances seemed to be following him. “The electricity makes lightning, which heats up the air really fast and really hot. When air gets hot, it expands--it gets bigger, it takes up more space. And that makes a lot of noise, which is what the thunder is.”

“Really?” Frances asked. “I ‘fot it was the angels.”

Alex shook his head. “I used to think that, too. But I think the angels have better things to do than make loud noises to scare people, don’t you?”

“Does the thunder scare you, too?” she said wonderingly.

“It does, actually,” Alex admitted. “It scares me a lot.” He thought about whether or not he should explain further, but Frances was looking at him so curiously and she had probably been on her way to go and wake up John, and Alex figured that he and Frances could calm each other down by talking and let John sleep. “See,” he started to explain, “when I was little--not quite as little as you, but pretty little--I lived on an island, too. And there was a storm.”

“Like this one?”

“No,” Alex laughed. “Much, much bigger than this one. It...well, it hurt a lot of people, and it scared me a lot. And now, any storm reminds me of that one and how scared I was. So storms are still really scary to me, even if there’s no chance that it’s gonna hurt me.”

Frances thought about that for a minute. “And that was when you were little?”

“Littler than I am now, yeah.” Alex wondered where she was going with this.

“I thought grown-ups didn’t get scared,” Frances said seriously. “I thought only little kids got scared.”

“No, everybody gets scared sometimes,” Alex explained.

“Even grown-ups?”

“Even grown-ups,” Alex confirmed.

After a second, Frances added, “Even daddy?”

Startled, Alex had to think about what to say for a second. He didn’t want to crush this kid’s ideas of a fearless, flawless dad, but he also didn’t want to lie to her. “I’m sure he does get scared sometimes,” Alex decided on. “But I don’t know him very well. What do you think?”

It took a little longer for Frances to come up with the answer to that one. The thunder boomed, but neither she nor Alex took much notice. “I think daddy is scared of losing me,” she said finally.

Alex was taken aback by the perceptiveness of this little girl. “I’m sure you’re probably right,” he said. “But what makes you say that?”

“Well, sometimes he goes away for a while ‘cause he’s working somewhere else, and I stay here with Peggy. And when he gets back, he hugs me really tight and doesn’t let go for a really long time,” Frances explained. “And when I get sick, he gets really worried. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure,” Alex said. “I’m good at secrets.”

Frances looked around furtively, as if making sure that nobody was overhearing their conversation. “I heard daddy and Laf talking one time while I was sick and they thought I was asleep,” she whispered. “And daddy was crying. He said that he…” She scrunched up her face, trying to remember. “He said that he didn’t want to lose me and let  _ her _ down. He was scared of letting  _ her _ down. But I don’t know who  _ her _ is.”

Alex thought about that. “I don’t, either,” he said. “But maybe you could ask your dad about it sometime?”

She shook her head frantically. “No, no! He thought I was asleep, he wouldn’t’a said it if he knew I was listening.”

“Well, maybe not, then.” Suddenly, Alex realized that he hadn’t heard the thunder in a while, and he couldn’t even hear the rain and wind from up above. “Hey, hear that?”

Frances wrinkled her nose and tilted her head, listening. “I don’t hear anything.”

“I think the storm is over,” Alex said. He felt a weight lift off his chest.  _ The storm is over _ .

“Really? All the air energy that makes the thunder is gone, too?”

“I think it is.” Alex nodded. “I’m pretty sure. You think you can go back to bed now?”

“Are you gonna be scared still?”

Alex shook his head. “No more thunder. I’m not scared anymore.”

“Then okay, if you’re not scared I don’t think I’ll be scared,” she said decisively. She yawned widely. “G’night, mister Alex.”

Alex stood up. To his surprise, Frances held out her arms like she was expecting him to pick her up. Laughing quietly, he did. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tightly as he carried her back to her room. “Goodnight, Frances,” he told her as he put her down. “Sweet dreams.”

She was already mostly asleep. “Swee’ dreams,” she mumbled back.

Tiptoeing softly out of the room, Alex closed the door behind him and went back to his own bed. He slept perfectly for the rest of the night, and there was no more thunder to disturb his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! Hope you all still remember me, and that you enjoyed this chapter! Please, please tell me what you thought! And all you lovely people out there, I truly adore you and care about you. Remember to not get so immersed in your work that you forget to eat and drink like Alex did, and make sure you get enough sleep, too! Give someone a hug today or tomorrow if you haven't done that, either (it can be a physical or a virtual hug!). I love you, please stay safe! <3 ~Clare


	4. You Look Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turtles are viewed, water is spilled, and a few realizations are made.

The next morning, Alex went up to the deck when he woke up. His phone told him it was only 6:18, and he figured nobody else would be awake yet. He was right. As he stepped out onto the wide wooden expanse, he was struck by how beautiful the sky was that morning. The stormclouds had cleared, leaving a smooth, rain-washed oil-painting of blue, pink, and orange. The air was crisp and cool and smelled of salt and rain. Alex went over to the railing closest to the ocean, and looked out over the glassy water. All remnants of the wild winds that would have been making waves higher than Alex was tall pound against the shore were gone.

For a while, Alex just watched the ocean and marveled at how different it must have looked last night, how quickly it must have changed from a raging tempest of a wildcat to the calm of a kitten. He noticed the colors, as they changed from the pale teal of the shallows to the dark blue of the deeper open ocean.

“Isn't it beautiful?”

Alex turned around, startled. John was standing a few feet behind him, smiling. “Yeah, it is,” Alex said after a second.

“I like mornings after the storm,” John told him. “It's always surprising how calm it is. You'd expect something more angry, wouldn't you, after all the noise? But it's almost like the sea tired herself out by making such a fuss.”

Alex nodded. He felt like he had to acknowledge what had happened last night, didn't want to seem like he had just forgotten about it. “Listen, about what happened last night,” he began awkwardly.

“Don't worry about it,” John told him quickly. “Really, it's okay.”

“No, I just...thank you.”

“Oh. You're welcome. Are you...are you okay now?”

“Yeah, I'm good.” Alex looked back over the sea. After a moment, John joined him at the rail. They stood in silence for a little while. Alex kept stealing glances over at him, admiring the way the early morning light reflected off his freckled cheeks. He was careful not to stare for too long, though.

John seemed to be searching for something on the horizon, scanning back and forth across the little waves. His eyes lit up suddenly. “Look!” he exclaimed, and pointed towards something in the water.

“What is it?” Alex asked.

Excitedly, John pointed more emphatically. “See, there's a loggerhead poking her head out of the water.”

Alex looked, but he couldn't see anything. “I don't see it.”

“No, no, that way.” John put his hand on the back of Alex’s head and turned his gaze in the right direction. Alex could feel his face heating up at the contact, and hoped that he wasn't blushing noticeably. “About thirty yards out.”

Finally, Alex saw something. It just looked like a tiny dark lump sticking out of the water, and he squinted. “That little thing?” he checked.

“Yeah!”

Alex didn't want to put a damper on John’s enthusiasm, but he didn't really see much to get excited about. “How do you even know it's a turtle?” he asked.

“You get good at spotting these things when you've spent as much time as I have doing it. Oh, she's gone.” The turtle had disappeared back under the surface, and John sighed. “Oh, well.”

Alex was vividly aware that John’s hand was still resting on his head. Suddenly, John seemed to realize it, too, and pulled away quickly. “So, um, we should probably work on our plan for court some more,” Alex said.

“That would be good,” John agreed swiftly.

“Is Lafayette going to join us?”

“ _ Oui _ , I am!” Lafayette called from near the door to the deck. They looked very tired, bleary-eyed and still wearing a pair of soft pink sweatpants that they had probably slept in. “I don't know what I am joining you in doing, but whatever it is, I am here.”

“Oh, man,” John said. “You should go back to sleep.”

They shook their head determinedly. “No,  _ mon cher _ . I am perfectly fine. I am very much awake.”

“Suuuure you are,” said John skeptically. “Anyway, me and Alex were just saying that we should all come up with a better plan of attack.”

Lafayette brightened up instantly. “Let us get started, then!” They produced a grocery bag from behind their back. “I thought you might appreciate some breakfast.”

About an hour later, after a lot of eating and talking and not much planning had gotten done, Frances came up and stumbled over to where the three adults were sitting. She climbed up into John’s lap and curled up like a cat without a word. “Hi, baby,” John said, surprised.

“G’mornin, daddy,” she mumbled tiredly. Her short, curly hair stuck up everywhere, giving her the appearance of having stuck her finger in a light socket.

“Did you not sleep well?” John asked her.

“I got scared by the thunder, and I was gonna go find you but Alex was in the hall and he told me that the angels weren't mad and that he didn't like the storm either and then the storm stopped and I went back to sleep,” she recounted. “But I'm still sleepy.”

John looked up at Alex questioningly. Alex shrugged and nodded. “Well, I'm sure you can take a nap later,” John told his daughter. “Maybe after we come back from counting the nests in Little Cove Beach. Oh, Alex, I think I forgot to tell you that's what me and Laf and Fran are doing this morning. Want to come?”

“Um, sure,” Alex replied.  _ Counting the nests? How...I guess I'll find out. _

As it turned out, counting sea turtle nests involved mostly standing to the side while John walked carefully over the beach, pointed out some slight disturbances in the sand, and Lafayette snapped pictures. Frances had seemingly forgotten about how tired she was and was running and playing in the shallow waves. Alex had been nervous about that at first, but John had reassured him that Frances had been swimming before she could walk.

“Hey, Alex, wanna see a nest up close?” John offered.

Alex walked over to where John was kneeling. “Sure.”

John gestured for him to kneel down carefully on the sand next to him and started brushing the sand away from a spot in front of him. After a minute, a smooth white surface was uncovered. Alex watched wide-eyed. “There are probably about sixty eggs just in this nest,” John said. He scooped up a handful of sand with a couple of golf-ball sized spheres in it. “If you want, you can touch one really carefully,” he suggested.

Alex reached out one finger and stroked one of the eggs. He was surprised to find that it was soft and leathery, unlike the hard shell of a chicken or other bird egg. “That's  _ weird _ ,” Alex said truthfully.

John laughed. “I know, right?” He placed the eggs back down in the nest carefully and covered them back up with the sand. “Laf, hand me…” He looked up, but Lafayette was over by Frances in the water. “Nevermind,” he sighed. Nearby, there was a duffel bag, and John walked over and pulled out a triangle of green plasticky fabric attached to a long, skinny rod. He stuck the little flag into the sand next to the nest. “That makes twelve,” he said. “Pretty good for the first month of the nesting season on this tiny beach. I'm gonna put up a warning to avoid stepping within two feet of the flags at the entrance to the beach so that tourists don't accidentally crush the eggs, and then we can go into town and get some lunch.”

As they headed back up the winding seaside road towards Revel’s Diner, which apparently was just about the only place to eat on the island, Alex thought absently that he hoped they wouldn't bump into Jefferson and Madison again that day. Luckily, they weren't anywhere to be seen as Alex and his companions sat down for lunch in the same booth they had occupied the day before. “Nice to see you four back again,” Eliza greeted them. “Weather the storm alright?”

“We managed,” John said quickly. “You?”

“We were just fine, thank you. And thank goodness those two rude men haven’t returned since yesterday morning,” added Eliza. “Anyway, what do you want for lunch?”

“Grilled cheese, please, ‘liza!” Frances piped up.

Eliza laughed. “I figured. And for the grown-ups?”

Alex didn’t even look at the menu. “Do you do breakfast for lunch? Because I would like the pancakes again.”

Rolling her eyes, Eliza nodded. “We can do that. John, Laf?”

“Soup  _ du jour _ ?” Lafayette inquired.

“How many years have you been coming in here? And how often have you asked that question? And how many times have I responded, it is  _ always _ chicken noodle and vegetable on weekdays?” Eliza asked, exasperated.

“Ah, right! Vegetable soup, please.” They winked at her.

“ _ Thank _ you. John?”

“Fish and chips, please.” John smiled at her.

“Anything to drink?”

“I want a milkshake!” Frances exclaimed.

“ _ No _ ,” John countered. He looked at Eliza. “She’ll have milk. Coffee for me, please.” Frances pouted, her lower lip sticking dangerously far out. John sighed. “Milkshake now or ice cream after dinner?” he asked her.

That took a second of thought. “Ice cream after dinner,” she decided sadly. Then she got all excited and asked, “Can I go and watch Angie cook?”

John shrugged. “If it’s all right with Angie and Eliza, I don’t see why not.”

“Sure! Angie always likes having a helper, and goodness knows Frances can cook better than I can,” Eliza laughed. “Come on back to the kitchen, then, darling.” Frances hopped out of the booth and trotted eagerly along next to Eliza through the door to the kitchen.

“Does she do that often?” Alex asked.

John nodded. “She loves the Schuyler sisters. Can’t spend enough time with them. I think she must need some women to look up to. No matter how much she loves me, I’m not a mom.”

Alex didn’t know what to say to that. “I’m sure you’re doing a great job,” he offered. “I mean, from what I’ve seen so far, you’re doing really well. I grew up with just a mom, so I know how hard it can be for a single parent. That’s all.”

“Thanks,” John said gratefully. “I’m doing my best, but that’s all I can do. You know?”

“Yep,” Alex acknowledged, slightly awkwardly. Eliza came out of the kitchen with John’s coffee at that point, and set it on the table in front of him.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to get your drink orders?” she told Laf and Alex.

“Oh!” Alex had completely forgotten, too. “Um, just water, please.”

“My usual tea?” Lafayette added.

“No problem. I’ll get that right out for you.” To John, she said, “I gave Frances her milk in the kitchen. She’s sitting on a stool in the corner chatting with Angie while Angie’s making the food.”

“Sounds good. Thanks for entertaining her.”

“It’s our pleasure! She’s a wonderful girl,” Eliza smiled. “Be right back!” She disappeared into the kitchen and came back out again less than a minute later with Alex’s water and Laf’s tea. “Here you go, you two.”

She handed the water glass to Alex, who was not expecting it to be as slippery with condensation as it was. It slid from his grasp before he could set it down on the table and tumbled over with a crash, emptying the ice and water inside across the entire table...and into John’s lap. “Oh,  _ shit _ !” Alex exclaimed, scrambling to right the glass and stop the rest from spilling. “Oh, shit, sorry! Sorry, John!”

John had yelped a little bit at the cold water now soaking the front of his shirt and pants. “Ah, it’s alright,” he said quickly.

Alex had to apologize again. “Sorry, sorry,” he repeated.

John stood up. “It’s  _ alright _ ,” he insisted, laughing a little. “It’s just water. I’ll go see if I can dry off in the bathroom. Don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry,” Alex said once again. He looked up at John anxiously while trying to mop up the water on the table with his napkin.

“It’s fine,” John laughed. “Really. Oh, man, you’re really cute when you’re flustered.” And with that, he walked towards the back of the diner and disappeared into the bathroom.

Alex stared.  _ What _ . Had John just said what he thought he said?

Lafayette nudged him in the ribs, making Alex jump. “You are turning red,  _ mon cher _ ,” they teased lightly.

“I, uh…”

“Oh, you’ve got it bad,” Eliza told him sympathetically. “You look  _ helpless _ .”

Sputtering, Alex said, “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“It’s fine!” Eliza said. “I don’t blame you, John’s a sweetheart.” She smiled at him. “I’ll get a towel and a new napkin and glass of water for you.”

Once she had walked away, Alex turned to Lafayette desperately. “What does she mean, ‘I’ve got it bad’? I’m ‘helpless’?”

“She just sees what I have been seeing,” they told him. “Which is that both you and John seem to be quite, ahem, taken with each other.”

Alex could feel his face getting warmer. “But…” he said. His voice faltered, and he tried again. “I mean. I mean…”

“Oh, please, Alexander. It is very clear that you like our John, just from the shade of pink you have turned since he called you cute,” Lafayette let him know.

Rubbing self-consciously at his cheeks, Alex muttered, “Okay. But…” Just then, John walked back out of the bathroom, cutting the conversation short.

“See, not a problem,” he announced. “You can barely tell anything spilled.”

“Yep,” Alex replied. He cleared his throat self-consciously and was about the change the subject when Eliza came back out with a towel and laid it down over the wide spill on the table.

“All taken care of,” she said. She winked at Alex, who was struggling really hard not to blush again. “And I'll be back with your new glass of water in just a minute.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “Sorry about all that.”

“Just don't drop it again,” she teased. “Don't you know there's a drought in California? You don't want to be wasting water, now.”

Alex squinted. “We're not in California,” he pointed out.

“Don't get smart with me.” She walked away.

“I wouldn't dare,” he called back, a few seconds too late. “Damn it,” he muttered.

John was sitting back down. “Nice try. But seriously, don't get into any kind of contest of wit with that girl. She will win every time.”

Alex stared at him. Again, his comment raced through his head.  _ You're really cute when you're flustered. _ Had John meant that in the way that Alex hoped he did, or was he making fun of him? God, why was he so terrible at reading the signals people sent him?

Lafayette nudged him again, snapping him out of his reverie. “ _ Mon ami _ , John asked you a question.”

“Did you? Sorry. I was just...thinking. I didn't hear you.”

John looked very amused. “It's okay. I said that I just realized I don't have your phone number. I figured that's a pretty important thing to remedy, ya know, since you're my lawyer.”

“Oh, sure.” Alex pulled his phone out of his pocket and exchanged numbers with John. Then, he and Lafayette also exchanged their numbers.

By the time all that had finished, Eliza had come out with their food, and with Frances bouncing at her side. “Enjoy,” she said as Frances slid into the booth next to her dad.

The pancakes were just as good as they had been the morning before. After lunch, they all returned to  _ The Revolution _ and Alex continued work on their defense. Though he could usually give any work he was doing his undivided attention, he couldn’t help but be a little distracted. Was his childish crush on John really so obvious that both Lafayette and Eliza had caught on?

Even though he wasn’t completely focused, he got a lot written. He was pretty sure that he’d be able to convince any reasonable jury that Empire Hotels should be denied the permit they needed to start construction. He would rattle off a whole bunch of statistics that John had given him, skew them in his favor so it seemed like the turtle population on this little island was vital to the survival of the species. Also, he did a lot of research on other times that Empire Hotels had gotten permits, and whether or not they actually ever did what they said they were going to do to clean their messes up. It turned out that they did not have a very good track record with that, which made Alex both pleased and a little nervous. That was certainly something he could point out to the jury to sway them into believing that the risk was too great to grant the permit, but at the same time, it was worrisome that the company had already gotten away with so much without any harm to reputation. It seemed untouchable.

A knock at his door made him look up. “Hey, Alex!” John called. “Dinner, if you want some.

“Oh! Sure. I'll be right out.” Alex closed his laptop quickly and headed down the hallway.

Over a dinner of pizza that Lafayette seemed to have made from scratch, Alex let his clients know exactly what still had to be done before Friday. “It's actually probably a good thing that I came early, that gives me enough time to prepare a more solid argument. Tomorrow, I'd like to take a look at the site that Empire is trying to get ahold of,” he said.

“Sure,” John agreed readily. “It's the only part of the island that isn't privately owned, America Beach.”

Alex raised his eyebrows. “America Beach?” he echoed.

“Yeah, I'm not sure why they named it that,” John admitted. “It might be something about the person who first came to the island, apparently he was like really patriotic or something.”

Shrugging, Alex said, “Okay.”

“I like it,” Lafayette said defensively.

“You would,” laughed John. “Okay, so tomorrow's agenda is America Beach. It's technically closed right now, because of the turtles, but I can sneak y’all in.”

“Sounds exciting,” quipped Alex. He yawned. “The pizza was delicious, Laf, but I'm too tired to eat any more.”

“Of course,” they said. “I hope you sleep better than you did last night!”

“Me, too,” Alex admitted. “Goodnight!”

That night, Alex dreamed about turtles patterned with the stars and stripes of the American flag, and someone with freckles who was always just out of reach. But it wasn't a bad dream at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and comment if you are so inclined! Get a good night's sleep on me, okay darlings? I love you and I'm so proud of you for everything you've gotten through so far and for everything you're gonna get through in the future. You can do it! <3 ~Clare


	5. Sure of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up and getting dirty. (In the court case--what, what did you think I meant? Get your mind out of the gutter.)

America Beach was much larger than either Sandoval Beach or Little Cove Beach. There was a gate closing off the path to the sand from the little parking lot. It was locked, but John just grinned and pulled a key from his pocket. “LPST privilege,” he said. “But the fewer people, the better, which is why you have the camera and Laf stayed with Frances.”

Alex looked nervously at the device around his neck on a strap. “I don't know if I know how to use this,” he confessed.

“It's not hard. Here, I'll show you.” John stepped over close to Alex, not even bothering to lift the camera off from around Alex’s neck. Alex could feel John’s breath on his cheek as John leaned in close to point at a switch on the top of the camera. “See, this is how you turn it on,” he murmured. “Turn it on, go ahead.”

Distractedly, Alex flicked the switch. The camera made a soft whirring noise as the lens extended. He held it up to his eye and tried to look through the part he thought would show him what the camera was pointed at. “I don't see anything!”

John laughed at him softly. “Alex, you have to take the lens cap off first.”

“Oh,” Alex said sheepishly. He popped the little black cap off the tip of the lens and put it in his pocket.

“Now try again.” John’s voice was very gentle as he gave Alex the instructions on how to focus the camera and which button to press to take the photo.

“I think I'm getting the hang of this!” Alex exclaimed. He pointed the camera at John and snapped a picture quickly. John was grinning at Alex’s excitement. “Look,” Alex said, bringing up the picture on the little display screen like John had shown him how to a minute before. It was a little bit blurry, but it wasn't bad for a first picture.

“Nice,” John complimented. “Now, let's go take some pictures of the turtle nests, okay?”

Alex _really_ wanted to say something about John being much more photogenic than the sand, but decided against it.

“Now, last time I was here was two weeks ago. I marked twenty nests, but there are probably a lot more by now.”

Alex was looking out over the pristine beach. “Who would want to build an ugly hotel on this place anyway?” he said indignantly.

“I know,” John said. “It's awful. Come on, follow me. Just be careful not to step near any of the...flags…” John’s voice trailed off.

Alex scanned the sand for any of the little green flags, but he couldn't see any. “What flags?” he asked hesitantly.

John was running off onto the beach, searching desperately. “The twenty-three green flags I set up two weeks ago!” he bemoaned. “Where the hell are they? And where is the sign telling people to be careful? I _know_ the storm didn't take them, the storm never washes them away. Alex, all my documenting is useless without the flags, I'll have to find the nests all over again!” John collapsed onto the sand in despair, burying his face in his hands.

Alex walked up behind him tentatively. “Are you sure the storm couldn't have carried the flags out to sea?”

John looked up at him tearfully. “The water never comes up this far, never. The turtles are smart, they don't make their nests where it's dangerous and the waves reach. I've never had this problem before, and I've been doing this for five years. We've had worse storms than that, I've only lost four flags in all my time doing this.”

Sitting down next to him, Alex did his best to reason their way out of the situation. “Well, what _could_ have happened then, if it wasn't the storm?”

“I haven't got a damn clue!” John wailed. His Southern accent was stronger that Alex had heard it before. “Nobody's allowed on the beach right now except me and…” He fell silent as realization dawned on him. “Oh, _fuck_ , no.”

“What?”

John groaned loudly. “The only other people with access to this beach right now are Empire Hotels. If they stole my flags, someone is going to _pay_.”

“Why would they do that?” Alex wondered.

“Because if the flags ain't here, there ain't any proof that I've taken survey of the turtle nests, which makes _me_ look negligent and all and incompetent and unprofessional, which makes _them_ look better. Oh, shit, Alex, they're playing dirty already, we don't stand a chance!” John was panicking. He took handfuls of sand and ground the particles between his fingers harshly.

“Okay, firstly, that attitude won't get us anywhere,” Alex said firmly. He took John's wrist and made him drop the sand. “Calm down. Are you _sure_ that there's no way the flags could have disappeared other than sabotage?”

“I can't think of any other way,” John said. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. He was shaking his head slightly. Alex wasn't sure he was aware that he was doing it. “No, there isn't another explanation. And it's not an unreasonable conclusion to come to. Empire has been known to be dishonest before, they just always get away with it because King is so rich.”

“Okay, do you have any proof that the flags were ever there?” Alex checked.

“Laf took some photos the day we set them up.”

“Good! Okay, so we have that on our side. How long would it take you to go back and find all the nests again? Especially with the pictures, surely you can figure out where the flags were from those.”

John took a deep breath. “You're right. But it took three days just to find and mark those twenty-three, Alex. There'll be so many more now, and it's already Wednesday. We only have today and tomorrow and then we have to drive to court early on Friday morning. We just don't have enough time!” His voice was getting higher and more frantic again.

“We'll figure it out. Are the pictures on this camera still?”

John nodded quickly. “This is the same SD card that we used that day, and I haven't taken the files off yet.”

“Alright, let's try to find those pictures.” Alex lifted the camera up to his eyes, trying to find the button that would make the slideshow of old pictures come up on the screen. He pressed it. Nothing happened. “John. I think I broke it.”

John took one glance at the camera and laughed shakily. “It just powered off ‘cause you haven't been using it, to preserve battery. You just gotta turn it back on.”

“But the lens is out still, I thought that meant it was on?”

“Yeah,” John said patiently, “but the lens doesn't go back in when it powers off due to inactivity. Have you seriously never used a real camera before?”

Alex shook his head. “Just the one on my phone.” He flicked the switch from On to Off and back to On, and the lens whirred in and back out again.

“That's right. Here, just let me see, I'll find the pictures.” John finally lifted the camera up and put it around his own neck. After flicking through the pictures quickly, he found the ones he was looking for. “Here, see.” He tilted the screen towards Alex. “Twenty-three green flags, each stuck a foot into the sand. No _way_ the wind blew those out. It had to have been a person doing it deliberately.”

Alex squinted at the screen. It was a wide shot of the beach. As he looked up from the screen and at the landscape in front of him, then back down, he realized that the picture was taken from almost the same place that he and John were currently sitting. “So you should be able to figure out where these are, at least.”

“Maybe?” John said doubtfully. “But it has to be pretty precise for the flags to help make it safer. Plus, you have to be really careful walking around at this time, step really lightly and be sure not to step on anything that's clearly a nest.” His eyes suddenly blazed with righteous fury. “If those bastards stepped on any nests while they were stealing my flags…”

Alex cut him off quickly. “John, focus. Let's just try to fix the damage they did, okay? And worry about the rest later. Should you tell Lafayette what happened?”

“I don't want to make them upset,” John replied. “I mean, they need to know, but...yeah, I'll call them. If they swear, even around Frances, at least they'll probably swear in French.”

Alex had to laugh a little. “Okay, you call them and I'll be moral support.”

John shot him a grateful look as he pulled out his phone and flicked through the contacts. _The Baguette_ , read the contact name that John pressed. Alex almost snorted. _Brilliant._ “Hi, Laf,” John said tiredly. “So...I've got some bad news and some bad news….The flags are gone.”

Alex could almost hear Lafayette’s exclamation of horror, even over the phone. John winced.

“Yeah, they're all gone. I think Empire must have stolen them to throw us off. The other bad news is that it's gonna take ages to set it all back up. I know. Yeah, I know! Okay, Lafayette, listen, I'm upset too, but you've got to calm down.” John bit his lip. “Calm down. Alex and I are gonna take care of this. It's gonna be okay. I'll talk to you later, take care of Frances. Bye.” John shoved his phone back into his pocket and groaned.

“I know you only said that to make them feel better, but...it _is_ going to be okay,” Alex said hesitantly.

“Yeah. Let's get to work.”

It was several hours and a lot of apologies from John later (“I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have to help me with this, this isn't your job,” countered with “John, it's fine. I don't mind, I'm perfectly happy to help you. Am I doing this right?”) before they finally headed back. The sun was already setting. They had located seventeen of the twenty-three nests as well as thirteen new ones. John hastily fashioned a sign with a large piece of cardboard that had been shoved in the duffel bag and and Sharpie that read “DO NOT REMOVE FLAGS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES:ENDANGERED SEA TURTLES NESTING”.

“They're not going to listen to that,” Alex pointed out.

John snapped a picture and locked the gate. “I know. But at the very least, we have this much proof. We'll have to come back tomorrow to make sure nothing happened overnight.”

They walked back to Sandoval Beach in silence. It was only about a mile along the sandy coast and dusty island road. A few rabbits scattered away from the edge of the road into the brush and sea-grass on either side as the two men approached. The warm air had cooled drastically with the setting sun, and Alex shivered slightly. Even after six years of living in New York, he wasn't used to temperate climates. Nevis had always been warm.

“Sorry,” John said abruptly.

“What about?”

John gestured vaguely towards the ocean. “This really isn't your passion, I know. And I made you spend all afternoon searching and digging for sea turtle nests. We hired you to be a lawyer, not another real member of LPST.”

“Hey,” Alex protested. “I love being a part of the Turtle Crew. I already love working with you and Lafayette, you don't have to keep apologizing.”

John's head was bent dejectedly as he walked. Alex wanted to reach out and take his hand to reassure him that it really was alright. He didn't think that would be very well received, though. “Okay,” John said finally. “Well, um. Thank you, Alex.”

“It's no problem.” Relieved, Alex fell back into the comfortable silence that they had been walking in for so long.

Then, just as they were nearing the town, which was about halfway between Sandoval and America Beaches, Alex saw two people walking down the path towards them. He recognized them instantly, just from the smug posture. “John, promise me you'll let me handle this,” Alex said quietly.

“What? Oh!” John immediately was on alert, glaring at Jefferson and Madison, whose faces were only just becoming visible through the dusky light.

“Look who's out at this time of evening!” Jefferson greeted.

“Thomas,” Alex said.

Jefferson smirked. “Have you two just been checking on your little pets at America Beach? You might not want to do that anymore, George King doesn't like people on his property without his permission.”

“It isn't his property yet,” spat John. “And it was _you_ who removed our flags, wasn't it?”

“No idea what you're talking about,” Madison responded. “We're just on our way to look around the land that our client’s permit is for.”

“He doesn't have the permit yet,” Alex said. “And he never will.”

“Of course not,” Jefferson said smoothly. “But if you'll excuse us, we have some work to do.” He and Madison shouldered past John and Alex without another word.

Angrily, John spun around and watched them go. He was about to shout something when Alex actually did grab his hand. “Not right now,” Alex insisted.

“If they hurt my turtles, Alex, I'm going to kill them, I swear, I am going to--”

“Shhh! I know. And at some point, I will probably join you in killing them, but not right now, okay?” Alex really didn’t want this to be a confrontation right now. As much as he despised Jefferson, he knew that this wasn’t the right time to fight him. One had to be sensible about these sorts of things. (Although, Alex reflected, he was never sensible at the best of times. That was why Jefferson had fired him. He swore he hadn’t remembered making the conscious decision to punch Jefferson in the face, but apparently that wasn’t good enough. In any case, John was too close to this. Alex had to be the one making rational decisions right now.)

Reluctantly, John turned back away. “Alright,” he conceded. “Fine. Fine. Let’s go back.”

Alex tugged his hand to get him started walking, since he still seemed very inclined to go running after Jefferson. But then Alex let go of his hand and started walking. He didn’t look back, but if he had, he would have noticed a slight look of disappointment on John’s face before he began following Alex.

* * *

 

“I will fight them!” Lafayette proclaimed loudly. After John and Alex told them what happened, they were pacing back and forth across the galley, waving their arms and talking angrily. “I will tear their _imbécile_ heads from their bodies, I will throw them into the ocean and watch while the turtles drag them down and drown them in revenge, I will bury them in sand and laugh while they suffocate, I will--”

Mildly shocked at their ferocity, Alex cut them off. “We’re all very upset, and while all of those plans sound very satisfying, they really won’t fix the problem.”

Lafayette continued regardless. “I will strangle them with my bare hands, _je le jure_ , they will regret their own births, I will--”

“You will lower your voice before you wake up my daughter,” John hissed.

They looked at him in surprise before the anger disappeared from their face and they sat down with a sigh. “You are right,” they murmured. “I am sorry, _mon ami_ , I am just upset.”

“Me too,” John said more gently. “Alex practically had to hold me back earlier, I was completely prepared to run after those two bastards and give them a piece of my mind and my fists too. But now I can see that there really are better ways of handling this, and Alex is going to destroy them in court on Friday.” John smiled at Alex, who was having a hard time matching his confidence but managed to smile back.

* * *

 

Alex was disconcerted but relieved the next morning when John returned from a very early trip to America Beach to check on the nests with the news that not a single flag had been touched, and that everything still seemed to be fine. “Well, that’s good,” Alex said.

“Seems that way. But I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Alex. Something isn’t right.”

“You’re just worried about tomorrow, but it’ll go fine,” Alex replied. “I know what I’m doing. We have enough evidence to stop them from being granted a permit.”

“But they seemed so _sure_ ,” John groaned. “Their confidence was frightening yesterday, Alex. What if they know something we don’t?”

“They’re bluffing. They probably _want_ to make us worry.” Alex tried to make himself seem more sure, but he didn’t think he was being convincing. Definitely not, in fact, if John’s face was anything to go by. “Let’s go over the plan one more time…”

Later, they were joined by Lafayette. The photographer had been asleep while John went out at four thirty and returned at six, though Alex had been unable to sleep at all that night and was already awake when John came stumbling back to the ship tiredly. After a few hours of reviewing information and coming up with new possible angles, Alex was exhausted. He excused himself to use the bathroom (“The head,” John had corrected, to Alex’s annoyance) but really just wanted to splash cold water on his face.

On his way back to the galley, he could hear John saying something incredulously and stopped. He hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but he was curious.

“You’re pulling my leg.”

“Why would you think that?” Lafayette protested. “I am telling the truth.”

John scoffed. “Ha, I don’t think so.” There was a pause. “Are you sure?” He sounded almost nervous, eager but apprehensive.

“I am positive, _mon cher_.”

“He _said_ that?”

“Well, I...I inferred? But I swear to you, I am sure of it.”

Confused, Alex walked back into the room. “Sure of what?” he said casually.

John practically jumped out of his seat. “Did you hear that?” he squeaked.

“Nothing except Laf saying ‘I am sure of it’, why?” Alex lied. “What’re you two talking about?”

“Nothing at all,” Lafayette dismissed. “Now, back to the plan…”

* * *

 What a real life turtle nesting site sign looks like!

THERE HE GO! BE FREE, LITTLE DUDE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey! Is this a good time to reinstate that I absolutely love turtles? Because I absolutely love turtles. I really, really like turtles. A lot. Lot a lot. Anyway, I also like history, and writing, and fanfiction...But you know what I really love? YOU! I love you, very very much! Thank you for reading my story, I hope you're enjoying it! Let me know if you are? Only if you have the time and inclination. It means a lot to me to read your comments, and I do try to respond to every one of them, though it can sometimes take me a while. Also, come talk to me on tumblr! I want to be your friend, please, I am lonely.
> 
> Next week, we go to court! Woohoo! (I apologize in advance to any lawyer/law-working people who might be reading this fic. I know a lot about biology and nothing about law, though I did try to do research. I didn't exactly know what to search for, and searching "how do lawyers talk" produces some rather interesting results.) Goodnight, all! Sleep well and stay hydrated! Remember to take care of yourself. You are The Most important! <3 ~Clare


	6. Court Battle #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To court we go!

Early the next morning, Alex woke up with a sick, nervous feeling in his stomach. It felt like waking up on the morning of an important final at college that he didn’t feel prepared for, or waking up on a day that he had forgotten to finish an essay. (Not that that happened very much. Well, only once in his entire university career, but it was a  _ terrible _ once.)

After he got dressed in his best business suit, he headed out to the galley. He didn’t think he was going to be able to eat anything, but he knew he had to try. Frances’ high-pitched little voice was echoing out of the galley.

“Daddy, are you scared?”

“Why would you say that, baby?” John replied, falsely cheerful.

“‘Cause you look scared.”

“Don’t you know I never get scared?”

Alex stood outside the entrance to the galley. Frances was sitting with her back to the door and John was searching for something in a cupboard. Neither of them saw him, and he just stood there quietly as Frances continued. “Alex told me that everybody gets scared, though.”

“Did he, now? Well, I’m not scared. We’re gonna win this case and the turtles are gonna be safe, Fran. There’s nothing for me to be scared of.”

“Your dad’s right,” Alex said, stepping into the room. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

John shot him a grateful smile. “See, Frances? I’m not scared. Alex, we should leave in a few minutes. I’m gonna go wake up Laf, help yourself to anything in the cupboards. Frances, finish your banana.” He walked away.

Frances watched him go. “Are you telling the truth?” she asked Alex solemnly.

Alex felt incredibly guilty. “Yeah, we’re telling the truth. There’s no way we can lose this case. The turtles are gonna be fine.” But he couldn’t bring himself to eat anything.

John came back in a minute, followed by Lafayette. They hugged both John and Alex and wished them good luck, asked to be kept updated, and shooed them away. “Do  _ not _ be late, that would be exactly what we need right now,” they said.

“We’re leaving, we’re leaving,” John reassured them. “C’mon, Alex, we gotta catch the 6:40 ferry.”

They rode the ferry in silence. Both of them were silently panicking a little bit, and Alex had to stop himself several times from reaching over, grabbing John’s hand, and squeezing it as tightly as he could, just to keep himself grounded. An hour and a half and a traffic-filled drive in a rental car later, they found themselves sitting in Charleston County Court, waiting.

When they were finally called into the courtroom, Alex had to close his eyes and count to ten, breathing slowly. He didn’t need his anxiety getting to him right now, he needed to be his best self.

“Alex?” John put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “C’mon. We gotta go in.”

“Right.” Alex stood up quickly.

“You okay?” John asked warmly as they walked in.

Alex glanced sideways at him. “Aren’t I supposed to be  _ your _ counsel?” he joked.

John shoved him playfully. “Shut up. Ooh, look who it is.” He pointed to Jefferson and Madison, standing and talking across the room with another man, one Alex didn’t recognize.

“You know who that other guy is?” he asked quietly as they took their seats at the front of the courtroom.

“Umm, no. Never seen him before.”

“Fantastic,” Alex sighed. “What if they called in some B.S. expert to come and shoot down everything you say?”

“Then we’ll deal with it,” John said firmly.

Alex glanced back at the jury, trying to size them up. A good mixture of ages and gender. Wasn’t  _ entirely _ white, which was nice. The judge was an old white woman. At first glance, Alex figured she probably wasn’t going to be incredibly unkind to them. She didn’t look like the sort of person who would want baby turtles to die. As impartial as the law was supposed to be, it was  _ always _ a good thing to understand who you were talking to, whether ethos, pathos, or logos was going to be the correct route to take in your argument. Alex had already decided on a mostly pathos stance, with a little bit of ethos on the side. The logic in this case was incredibly obvious. The best thing to do was to appeal to his audience’s humanity.

“Order in the court,” the bailiff called. A few seconds of rustling and bustling, and everyone was seated. “Thank you. All rise.”

Alex, along with everyone else in the court, got to their feet.

“Department Two of the Charleston County Court is now in session. Judge Etta presiding. Please be seated.” The bailiff finished his spiel and stepped back for the judge.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen--”

_ It is a good thing Laf isn’t here, they’d probably leave the courtroom just at that _ , Alex thought, and nearly let out a hysterical giggle that would probably have attracted a lot of unwanted attention and definitely would have made him significantly more self-conscious and nervous than he already was.

The judge continued, completely oblivious of course to Alex’s thoughts. “Calling the case of Empire Hotels versus the Laurens Project for Sea Turtles. Are both sides ready?”

Jefferson cleared his throat. “Ready, your Honor.”

“Ready, your Honor,” repeated Alex.

“Will the clerk please swear in the jury?” Judge Etta said.

The clerk stepped forward. Addressing the jury, she said, “Will the jury please stand and raise your right hand?” They all did so. “Do each of you swear that you will fairly try the case before this court, and that you will return a true verdict according to the evidence and the instructions of the court, so help you, God? Please say “I do”.”

A chorus of “I do”s sounded from the jury.

“You may be seated,” the clerk finished.

“Mr. Hamilton, please make your opening statement,” Judge Etta instructed.

Alex stood up. “Thank you, your Honor. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, bear with me, I’m curious. Are you aware that the outcome of this case could change the course of the future? Empire Hotels is trying to encroach upon land that is vital to the survival of an endangered species that is incredibly important to the marine ecosystems of the world. Now, they will try to convince you that the loggerhead sea turtle does not, in fact, rely upon America Beach, Sandoval Island. But the future of this species may in fact lie with some of the upwards of 4000 eggs currently laid in some 40 nests on said America Beach. You’re all natives of South Carolina, where the loggerhead sea turtle is your state reptile, are you not? Please don’t let this corporation drive these beautiful creatures to extinction. Please deny them their permit.” Alex nodded at the judge. “That is all, your Honor.”

“Thank you, Mr. Hamilton. Mr. Jefferson, please make your opening statement.”

Jefferson stood up slowly and turned towards the jury. He snuck a peek at Alex and gave something resembling a sneer before speaking. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I’m afraid that Mr. Laurens and his counsel misunderstand the situation. We don’t need you to confirm or deny us our permit to build on America Beach...we already have it.”

That took a second to sink in. “I’m sorry, what?” Alex said weakly.

Needless to say, the entire morning went downhill from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been away for a while, and really busy. I promise I'll make up for the lack of updates now! It's super late, so goodnight and sleep well, take a nap if you can and want to. Drink a glass of water. I love you! You are absolutely incredible, wow. I'm lucky to live on the same planet at you. <3 ~Clare


	7. SHABOOM went the Cannon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storms are weathered, feelings are revealed... [Warning: This chapter contains homophobia and use of the word q***r as a slur. Please stay safe and I love you all.]

“Laf...listen. It did  _ not _ go as planned,” John was saying on the phone. He and Alex were sitting in the corner of the waiting area. They had pleaded with the judge to give them time to gather evidence that the company’s permit should be revoked, and she had granted it, much to Jefferson’s chagrin. Apparently, the reason that the court date had been delayed from that Tuesday to the Friday was because Empire Hotels was so close to convincing the Secretary of Commerce, whose name was John Jay, to just grant them the permit without a court case. There was almost certainly an element of dishonesty or bribery in that whole deal, but Jefferson had chalked it up to the Secretary of Commerce understanding what a tiny, nonprofit organization did not, without outlining specifically  _ what _ Jay understood.

Now, Alex was just waiting for John to finish talking to Lafayette so they could leave, hopefully without running into Jefferson or Madison.

“I...I said  _ listen _ , damn it, you French asshole!” John snapped. “Sorry, I’m just...really stressed. Laf, they had the permit already. They made us look like idiots in front of the whole fucking jury--make sure Frances can’t hear me, okay--and we bargained for more time, but, I don’t know, I think we’re going to  _ lose _ . Shit, Laf. I don’t know…” John’s voice broke, and he rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead.

Alex felt  _ terrible _ . This was all his fault. What kind of lawyer would go into a court not even knowing what they were supposed to be arguing against? Admittedly, Jefferson and Madison seemed to have deliberately kept this all from everyone for either shock value or just to humiliate Alex. Probably the latter. And John sounded so incredibly upset. He probably hated Alex now, didn’t he?

If things could have gotten any worse, they did at that moment. Jefferson and Madison sauntered into the room and walked right up to Alex and John.

“What,” Alex said, not a little rudely.

Jefferson clicked his tongue. “Now, now, I saw you as a lot of things, Alexander. But a sore loser? Never.”

“We haven’t lost,” Alex informed him.

“Really?” Madison said. “Because it kind of seems like you’ve lost.”

Alex really wanted to either flip both of them off and walk away, or beat them both to a pulp. Unfortunately, he didn’t have anywhere to go if he walked away. And both of them were bigger than he was. Curse growing up nearly starving constantly, it didn’t do much to build a stature. “Listen, if you’ve got something important or relevant to this case to tell me, then say it. And if you don’t, then fuck off.”

“Ooh, how rude. Didn’t your momma tell you that if you didn’t have anything to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all?” Jefferson asked. Alex ground his teeth silently as his nemesis continued, “Oh! I forgot, she was a whore who probably didn’t know the meaning of manners, and certainly didn’t know the meaning of contraception, or she wouldn’t have had a bastard son to take care of.”

Alex stood up.  _ That _ was incredibly low, even for Jefferson. By this time, John had muttered something urgent to Laf and had put away his phone, ready to step in. “Thomas Jefferson, that was uncalled for,” Alex said lowly.

“You really shouldn’t have spilled your entire life story to me when you got drunk your first week of working for me,” Jefferson told him. “It makes for great ammunition when I’m trying to defeat you in court. One word…” He snapped his fingers in Alex’s face. “One particularly chosen word, and I could have you shouting in the courtroom and found in contempt.”

“Would you like me to break your nose again, Thomas?” Alex asked. “Or would you prefer to  _ walk away now _ ?”

“Careful, Alexander,” Jefferson condescended. “You don’t want to break some more rules and be unable to protect your precious turtles and your precious John anymore, would you? Surely even you aren’t so self-destructive that you would actually attack someone in a house of the law?”

Every fiber of Alex’s being said to just punch Jefferson as hard as he could, as many times as he could. “It might just be worth it,” he growled.

“Remember, what I know about you could probably bring down your reputation and career,” Jefferson threatened. He leaned in whispered in Alex’s ear, despite Alex trying to recoil away. “Even if your q***r new friends would still accept you, I highly doubt that the jury would be as kind.”

Alex felt his stomach drop. “You wouldn’t  _ dare _ ,” he breathed.

Jefferson smirked. “Whatever you say,  _ Alex _ .” He turned and walked away, leading Madison and leaving the courtroom.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Alex dropped back into his seat with a strangled gasp. He felt nothing except pure terror. Jefferson was right. If the jury, a group of probably conservative, probably bigoted South Carolinians (perhaps a stereotype, but not an unfounded one for the most part) knew what Jefferson knew about Alex’s sexuality…

“Alex? Alex, what did he say to you? What’s wrong?” John was saying. He was gripping Alex’s shoulder tightly.

Alex shook his head. “Nothing,” he choked out.

“Seriously, Alex, please talk to me. What’s wrong? He said a lot of really cruel things back there, please tell me you didn’t let any of them get to you.” John was trying really hard.

To Alex’s mortification, there were tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. “Nothing,” he repeated. He pressed his palms into his closed eyes, hard. He saw spots. It didn’t help. There were still more tears forming and falling and slipping out from behind his hands and damn it, John should  _ not _ have to deal with this right now. It was John who deserved to be upset, John whose life’s work may have just tumbled down the drain, and it was Alex who was breaking down.

“That’s not true. Listen, I heard most of it, but whatever he whispered into your ear  _ really _ upset you. You can talk to me, Alex. You’re my lawyer, but let’s face it, you’re definitely also my friend. You’ve been my friend since the minute we met. You can trust me with whatever it is. It might help to talk to me. Oh, shit, oh, shit, Alex. C’mon, there’s nothing more for us here until next Wednesday, is there? C’mon, bud. I’m gonna get you back to the rental car and then we’ll get to the ferry and go back to Sandoval, okay?”

“Okay,” Alex managed. He let John lead him outside and to where they had parked the rental car. He sat in the passenger seat, his face hidden in his hands, as John began driving them away.

“Alex, I’m not gonna pressure you into telling me anything,” John said after a few minutes of silence. “But if you want to talk, I’m here.”

“I really, really hate Jefferson,” Alex said unhappily.

“I can see why,” remarked John. His phone began to ring. “Oh, shit, that’s probably Laf, I told them I’d call them right back but that I needed to take care of something urgent. Ahh, Alex, can you answer it? I don’t want to while I’m driving.” He tossed Alex his phone without taking his eyes off the road.

Alex caught it despite his shaking hands and answered it. “Hi,” he said.

Lafayette’s concerned voice came over the speaker immediately. “Alex!  _ Mon cher _ , why are you answering John’s phone? What happened? Why did John hang up so quickly?”

“Slow down,” Alex told them. “I answered because John is driving. John hung up because he was...well, he was getting ready to, um, step in between me and Jefferson if punches were thrown.”

Lafayette gasped. “Are you all alright,  _ mon ami _ ?”

Alex laughed bitterly. “Yeah, we’re both fine. We’re coming back to the island now.”

There was a second’s pause. “Alexander, have you…” Their voice trailed off. “Have you checked the weather forecast for the next few hours,  _ mon ami _ ?”

“No…” Alex said slowly. Another bout of worry came over him. “Why?”

They sighed. “Oh,  _ mon cher _ . I was trying to tell John earlier, before he hung up...there is a storm coming, a big one. The ferries are not going to be running until after the storm has passed.”

Alex stopped breathing.  _ Storm. Big one. _

“Alex? Alex, say something!”

“Um...I...what should we do, then?” Alex said weakly.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” John asked.

“Talk to John, Alex. Everything is going to be fine, I promise. Everything is going to be fine. I’m going to hang up now, alright? I’ll see you when you get back to the island.” They waited for Alex to mumble his own goodbye before hanging up.

Numbly, Alex stared out at the sky and landscape soaring past. Over the ocean, to Alex’s right, dark grey clouds were gathering. Alex wondered how he didn’t see them before.

At that moment, John saw them, too. “Oh, shit,” he muttered. “What did Laf say, Alex?”

Alex was having a hard time forming words. “They...they said the ferries...weren’t gonna be going this afternoon. Because of the storm,” he said.

“Shit,” John repeated. “Okay, Alex, um...hey, are you okay?”

Alex barely managed to shake his head. This was absolutely the  _ last _ thing he needed today. “No, actually, I’m terrified.”

There wasn’t anyone else on the road as far as Alex could see, and the stormclouds were gathering thicker and darker at an alarming rate. This was probably the third-worst scenario in Alex’s mind when he thought of all the horrible things that could happen in a storm. Number one was, of course, being stuck unsheltered on an island during a hurricane. Number two, being burned alive in a building struck by lightning. And number three, being blown off the edge of a cliff or into the ocean, especially while in a car. Although incredibly unlikely, the thought  _ terrified _ Alex.

“Alright, Alex, listen. This storm looks like it’s gonna be a really bad one--no, keep breathing. I promise it’s all gonna be okay, but we’re gonna have to pull over soon before the rain hits. I don’t like driving in the rain, the roads are too slippery and visibility is too awful. We’re gonna be fine, okay? But we’re gonna have to sit this out, Alex.”

The first raindrops spattered against the windshield. Alex felt his breath catch in his throat. “Okay,” he whispered.

John checked to see if there was anyone coming behind them. There wasn’t. He quickly but carefully swerved across the highway to the other side, away from the ocean and onto the wide shoulder of the asphalt road. He turned the car off just as the first roll of thunder boomed, and Alex let out a wordless cry. For a brief second, lightning lit up the ocean, reflecting against the choppy waves with a vicious, jagged glare.

“Alex, it’s okay,” John said desperately. “We’re perfectly safe here, there’s just gonna be some rain and some loud noises, but we’re safe.”

Alex really wanted to believe John, and logically, he knew the other man was right. But he couldn’t stop picturing them both being flung in the car off into the ocean, banging against the car doors but sinking, sinking, the water pouring in, drowning and suffocating until everything went dark…

“Shh, Alex, please calm down. Oh, man.”

_SHABOOM_ went the cannon of thunder, and Alex wanted to disappear.

“Alex, we’re gonna be stuck here for a while, and if you’re gonna have a panic attack the whole time, I don’t want to be stuck all the way across this console from you,” John told him. He was stretched over the center console of the car just to put his hand on Alex’s knee. “Do you think you can climb into the back? You might not feel so trapped there, there’s space to breathe. You can breathe, Alex, it’s okay. There’s plenty of air in here.”

For now, but what about when the car started filling with water? Surely they needed to conserve air for now. Alex tried to hold his breath, but he could neither do that nor breathe deeply. He was just hyperventilating. He might as well have been drowning already from the amount of oxygen he could get into his lungs.

“Alright,” John muttered. He reached over and unbuckled Alex. “C’mon, you. I’m not very good at this, definitely nothing like Laf, but damn if I’m going to let you sit here for hours having a panic attack without help. I’m gonna get out of the car and walk around to your side, then I’m gonna help you get into the back so you’re not trapped in a bucket seat next to the giant window, you’re gonna sit in the middle of the seat, I’m gonna use the emergency blanket and cover the windows so you can’t see the lightning, and everything’s gonna be okay. Okay?”

“Okay.” 

John patted Alex’s shoulder gently. “I’ll be right back.” He opened his door and stepped out, letting a gust of cold air and a few raindrops fly into the car. Alex began to shiver, watching John anxiously as he walked through the rain to the passenger side door, which he then opened. “C’mere, Alex. Oh, shit, you’re shivering, okay. Can you step out of the car? I know it’s raining and it’s closer to the storm, I know, but I’ll be right here. You’re perfectly safe. Come on, that’s it.” John had to practically hold him up as they walked the two feet to the door to the backseat. The raindrops hitting Alex’s skin made him shake and flinch, and when the thunder boomed again, Alex had to try very hard not to just  _ stop _ . John continued to murmur encouragingly until they were both sitting in the back of the car with the door closed, locking the storm safely out.

Alex pressed his forehead to his palms, leaning forward so his head was almost between his knees. That was supposed to keep you from passing out, right? He was barely aware of John’s hand on his back. The lightning flashed again, and the thunder followed it. He reminded himself of what he had told Frances a few days ago, tried to think only of the science. That often helped a little bit, but not right now. Right now, he was stranded in the middle of nowhere with only a car for protection, and the storm was coming, it was coming for him, and he was  _ so scared _ .

He didn’t see exactly when or how John managed it, but when his vision cleared, the emergency blanket that John had mentioned was draped over the headrests of the front seats and stretched over his and John’s heads to tuck behind the back seat headrests. It completely concealed the view out the window, which made Alex feel instantly a little safer. “Thank you,” he murmured when he had enough air to speak.

“It’s no problem. Alex, are you doing any better?”

“A little.” But then the thunder crashed again, like cannon fire but bigger, and Alex let out a wordless cry and doubled over like he was in physical pain. Almost immediately, John’s arms were around him, and he was being held tightly, protected.

“Shh,” John told him. “Shh, it’s okay.”

_ It’s not okay _ , Alex thought.  _ I’m pathetic. _ But he couldn’t help the fact that John’s comfort was incredibly helpful, that he made Alex feel safe. Cursing his own weakness, Alex leaned further into John.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I told you, Alex, I’m not as good at this as Laf is, but is there anything I can do?”

“You’re doing more than enough,” Alex let him know. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry, you m-must think the worst of me right now.”

“What?” John asked. “Alex, no, nononono, I don’t think the worst of you, oh, my God. Darlin’, this isn’t your fault at all. Shh, shh, don’t worry. Shh. I’d never think the worst of you, there isn’t a worst to you, Alex. You’re wonderful. You’re incredible.”

Alex’s panicked state just couldn’t make sense of that. He managed to look up at John through tearstained eyes. “Huh?”

“You heard me,” John said. “Shh, put your head back down. I’ve got you. Listen, Alex, I know it might be hard to believe right now for you, but you seem like an incredibly strong person.”

If Alex could breathe well enough, he would have laughed. “Yeah, right.”

John squeezed him closer. “I mean it. You are so strong, Alex. You can get through anything. You’ve gotten through just about everything the universe can throw at a person, and you’re still a genius and an optimist and you still believe in people and you’ll help people who care about things even if you don’t care about the things, and you talk to Frances and she likes you, which is just about enough to tell me that you’re a good person.”

Alex almost forgot about his panic as he raised his head again to stare incredulously at John. He wanted to say something smart or witty. Even vaguely eloquent would be fine. But what came out was simply a plaintive, “Do you mean it?”

“Yeah,” John told him. “I mean it.” He almost looked nervous for a second, and was about to say something when the thunder boomed again. Completely shameless now, Alex buried his face in John’s shoulder and hid. “Shhh,” John whispered. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

After a second, the jolt of horror passed. Alex didn’t raise his head, but he collected himself enough to mumble, “You were gonna say something? Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Maybe now isn’t the best time…”

“Best time for what? John, my brain is telling me that we’re not gonna make it out of this storm alive, even though I know objectively that’s stupid. Now’s the best time to tell me anything.” Alex was surprised that he managed to say so much in one breath, and gulped air into his now-burning lungs.

“Okay,” John said nervously. “Okay. Alex, listen...Laf told me something yesterday, and I didn’t really believe them, but I think I’m gonna regret it if I don’t say anything because, Alex, I really, really like you, and God, I sound like a high-schooler, but I really like you.” John said it all in a big rush of words, and Alex froze. A good twenty seconds passed. “Say something,” John begged.

Alex raised his head slowly and looked into John’s eyes disbelievingly, but there was no lie in his bright eyes and freckled face. “Um…” he managed cleverly.

“Oh,  _ fuck _ ,” John uttered. “I’m sorry, Alex, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry, forget I said anything, I’m sorry, I understand if you don’t feel the same way, I totally understand, oh, God, I just thought, Laf said yesterday that they thought you  _ did _ feel the same way, and I didn’t believe them, they were just pulling my leg, God, I’m sorry.”

“N-no,” Alex said with difficulty. “Hey, John, um, I…” He swallowed. Now or never. After all, he might die soon. “Um, John. I don’t know if this is the best time to tell  _ you _ , but I’m bi as hell. And I really, really like you, too,” he confided.

A beat of silence. Only the rain punctuated the weighty quiet that hovered over them. “Really?” John said at last, searching Alex’s face.

“Really,” Alex confirmed. Lightning lit up the inside of the car, even through the blanket covering the windows, and Alex winced. “John, I will continue this conversation in about thirty seconds, but the thunder is coming and I’d really appreciate it if…”

“Oh! Sure, c’mere.” John pulled him close again as the thunder rumbled, allowing Alex to cling to him tightly. After the sound had passed, Alex slowly relinquished his grip on John’s arms and sat back up. “Um,” John said. “So…”

“So,” echoed Alex. He kind of smiled shyly. “Well, we, uh, got that out of the way.”

“So we did,” agreed John. “Are you...and you’re okay with...everything?”

“What everything?” Alex said.

“I don’t know, everything. Me. Frances.”

“Absolutely,” said Alex quickly. “Hey, John?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go on a date with me at some point? Like, after the whole court case fiasco is settled, and definitely after this storm is over.”

“I don’t know,” John laughed. “I think this would make a pretty good first date, don’t you?”

Alex flinched as another peal of thunder rolled overhead. “Not really,” he said tightly. He grabbed John’s hand and bent his head, trying to breathe more slowly.

“Yes,” John told him swiftly. “Yes, I would like to go on a date with you.”

“Awesome,” mumbled Alex. “I’m about to have another bit of really panicked moments, that didn’t make much grammatical sense, please hug me again.”

John did so. “All you gotta do is ask,” he teased lightly.

Alex let himself fall over into John’s lap. “I hate storms,” he whimpered.

“I noticed, darlin’.” After a moment’s hesitation, John bent his head and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “You’re safe. You’re okay.”

“Talk to me,” Alex almost begged. “Please. The rain is so loud.”

“What do you want me to talk about?” John asked seriously.

“I don’t care. Turtles. The ocean. You. Anything, really, just say words.” Alex burrowed further into John’s lap. “Just talk.”

“Well, you know me, I can talk about turtles as long as you want me to. Okay, so remember when I told you that Florida softshells are my favorites? That’s true. When I was like twelve, one of my dad’s friends brought this little tiny softshell to our house. I still dunno why he had it, but he let me see it and I just kind of sat and played with it for hours and hours, and I would draw it with my charcoal drawing set that I had gotten for my birthday. Everyone thought that the drawings looked weird, because the softshell is a really weird animal, right, they thought I was drawing it wrong. But they had never seen a real softshell, they just thought I was drawing a really messed up sea turtle. The littlest softshells are only about six inches long, and the really big ‘uns can get to be over two feet. They’re almost entirely aquatic, they live in the marshes in Florida and all. Though there are some that live in South Carolina, but only the very south part, and not many.”

As the thunder came again, John talked a little louder, rubbed Alex’s back a little more vigorously, but didn’t stop talking and didn’t acknowledge the thunder. “Softshell turtles eat little fish, insects, and some shellfish. They’re entirely carnivores. And their coloration, dark green and grey on top and creamy on the bottom, hides them from most predators. Sometimes, though, they get eaten by ‘gators, and raptors might swoop down and snatch a couple little ‘uns. Some snakes steal the eggs from the nests, but they’re really pretty good at hiding and camouflage and all. They can also move really fast, in water or on land if they have to. The females are bigger, like most reptile and bird species.

“And that’s about all there is to know about softshells. As much as I love them, they’re not especially easy to talk about for long periods of time without going into some pretty vivid detail. But you know, loggerheads aren’t the only sea turtles. I really like hawksbills, their shells are incredibly gorgeous. Which is why they’re endangered, see, because everyone wants to harvest them to make tortoiseshell decorations. It’s illegal, but they do it anyway because there’s so much money to make in the smuggling business. That’s why a lot of sea turtles are endangered, of course. Greens, too. Leatherbacks are the biggest. Turtles are just about the only animals who can actually eat jellies, did you know that? Every other species is affected by jelly venom, but turtles are immune. And they can live to be really, really old. Tortoises live longer, but in the ocean, the turtles have got almost everyone else beat. Well, there’s this one critter, kinda like a jelly, that’s technically immortal, or as far as we can tell. It basically reverts itself back to a baby when it’s reached the end of its lifespan, and there seems to be no limit on how many times it can do that. I know I’m getting a little bit off topic, but I’m pretty sure you don’t really care as long as I keep talking, right?”

Alex nodded tiredly. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

“You’re allowed to fall asleep, too, darlin’. I won’t be offended. I’m just gonna keep talking, okay? Okay. So, jellies in general are just super cool. There are some species that glow in the dark, you know. That’s where they get those bioluminescence genes that they stick in mice to make them glow, right, it’s neat. Jellies have it to attract their prey, because the ones that glow live way down in the very darkest parts of the ocean. Some fish do it, too. Like, you’ve probably heard of the anglerfish, like that one in Finding Nemo?”

“Never seen it,” Alex said.

John actually gasped in horror. “Are you kidding? Alex, that’s like the best movie in the world. Okay, that’s it, we’re gonna watch that when we get back to  _ The Revolution _ . Frances will be thrilled, she loves it. Laf’s seen it way too many times, but they love it, too, even if they won’t admit it. Anyway, back on bioluminescence, a lot of deep sea predators use it to attract their prey. And what’s really interesting about the deep sea ecosystems, the ones that live in the very bottom of the ocean trenches and such, is that a while ago, it was thought that all living things got their energy from the sun. Photosynthesis, right? Everything comes back to the sun.”

“Right,” Alex said sleepily. He vaguely remembered learning about that.

“Wrong,” John countered. “Near the vents at the ocean floor, where the tectonic plates are moving around and creating new crust, there’s a bunch of microorganisms whose energy and food doesn’t come from the sun at all. It comes from the mixtures of chemicals coming from out of the vents. It’s called chemosynthesis, and it’s  _ fascinating _ . It totally changed the way we think about the conditions needed to support life, and opened up a huge amount of questions about possible life on other planets.”

“We started at turtles, now you’re talking about aliens,” Alex said fondly. “Sometimes, I wonder what the inside of your head actually looks like.”

John flicked him gently. “You asked me to talk. And yeah, I guess we did go from Finding Nemo to Lilo and Stitch, huh?”

“Haven’t seen that one, either.”

“Oh, man. Have you seen  _ any _ good kid’s movies?”

Alex thought about that for a second. “I watched...I think it was Mulan? With a friend in college. But before I came to America, I didn’t even have a TV. And I didn’t have much time at university to watch movies.” Suddenly, Alex realized that he wasn’t panicking anymore. “John?”

“What’s up?”

“Thank you,” Alex said quietly.

“Anytime, darlin’. You want me to keep going?”

“Yes, please.” Alex closed his eyes as John began talking again.

“So, did you know that not only are dolphins, the mammal, called dolphins, but there’s actually a fish called dolphin, too? The dolphin fish. Personally, I think that’s a bit confusing, but scientists are always weird about naming things. I mean, right whales are only called right whales because whalers thought that they were the ‘right whales’ to hunt for their oil…”

John’s voice faded into the background as Alex fell asleep. For the first time in a long time, the sound of rain blended with everything else to form the comforting lullaby that he always read about rather than the terror-inducing sound that Alex had always associated it with. For the first time in a long time, Alex was safe from the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter! Much happened! Short sentences in the note bc I am EXHAUSTED and don't feel too great, I was out in the sun all day, not pleasant. Comments make me feel better, though! <33333 (Side note: John in my story is autistic, and so am I. All of the things he says about ocean creatures are true, and are basically me finding opportunity in this story to infodump.) Love you all for reading! I love you I love you I love you! Hey, be smarter than me and don't stay out in the sun all day. If you do, please drink lots of cold water. <3 ~Clare


	8. Stars Against Skin

“Hey...Alex...wake up, darlin’.”

Alex blinked slowly. He was still lying down in the backseat of the car, though his head was no longer in John’s lap. “Is the storm over?” he mumbled, raising his head.

John was sitting in the driver’s seat, twisted around to talk to Alex. “Yeah, storm’s over. I let you sleep as long as I could, but our ferry is leaving in ten minutes. We gotta go board.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Alex said sleepily. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. At some point, his jacket had been slipped off his arms and draped over him like a blanket, and it fell to the ground. He glanced up at the clock on the dashboard, but the car was off. “What time is it?”

“It’s eight twenty.”

Suddenly, Alex was wide awake. “Really? I slept for that long?”

“Yeah,” John laughed. “C’mon, we gotta go board the ferry.”

The pier leading to the ferry was wet and slippery from the rain, which had stopped completely. The sun was setting behind a collage of white and light grey clouds. Alex and John chose a little table next to a window to sit across from each other. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, but once the ferry began to move, John began talking.

“So...you know, what I said back there…”

Alex cut him off. “Just so you know, I don’t remember anything you said about the turtles or dolphins or...whatever it was you were talking about. Jellies? I don’t remember.”

John laughed softly. “That’s alright. No, I meant...about liking you.”

“I figured that’s what you meant,” Alex said. “I just...well, go on.”

“Well, you said that you liked me, too, and that you were, and I quote, ‘bi as hell’.”

Alex snorted. “Did I say that? Yeah, that sounds like something I would have said.”

“You did say that. And I just figured you should know that I’m gay.” His voice shook a little bit. “And now you’re probably wondering about Frances, and if you want me to, I’ll explain, but I…”

“You don’t have to explain yet, or ever,” Alex reassured him quickly. “You don’t owe me anything, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with.”

John exhaled slowly, relieved. “Thank you.”

“Now, about that date we mentioned,” Alex changed the subject slightly, “when were you thinking?”

“I don’t want to wait until after we’ve got the Empire stuff sorted out. Tomorrow. We can ditch Lafayette and go to Revel’s alone,” John suggested.

“Sounds good,” Alex agreed readily. John smiled widely, his eyes shining. “And by the way, I'm sorry that I didn't anticipate them already having the permit.”

John waved his hand dismissively. “Nobody could have known. It's alright. We'll figure it out, right?”

He sounded like he really believed it. Just then Alex did, too. It seemed for just a moment that there was nothing they couldn't do.

 

“Alex! John!” Lafayette exclaimed, rushing towards them across the deck. They seemed about to launch themself onto their friends and hug them, but stopped themself. “Alex,  _ mon cher _ , you look terrible,” they said, cupping their hands around Alex’s face. “Are you alright?”

“I'm okay, Laf,” Alex said tiredly.

“Was the storm too awful? Oh,  _ mon petit  _ Alex…”

“Really, I'm okay,” Alex reassured them. “It wasn't fun, but John helped a lot.”

“I did my best,” John said. “Laf, is Frances asleep?”

They nodded, releasing Alex’s face. “ _ Oui _ , I convinced her that she did not have to wait for you to come home, though she was very worried about you.”

“I'm gonna go check on her,” John said quickly. “I'll be back in a minute.” He headed below deck, leaving Alex and Lafayette alone.

“I am so sorry to hear about what happened in court,” they said genuinely. “I am sure that must have been very difficult for you and John. I wish I had been there, I would have given them all a piece of my mind.”

“Thanks. I wish I had managed to do that. I'm afraid I was pretty useless, Laf,” Alex admitted.

“Nonsense! We could not have gotten this far without you,  _ mon cher _ .”

Suddenly, Alex shivered. The breeze was picking up, carrying the cold post-storm sea air across his slight frame. “Can we go inside?” he asked.

Lafayette realized that he was shivering and ushered him below quickly. “Of course, of course. Forgive me, I did not see that you were cold.”

“It's fine.” As they went below and got seated in the galley, Alex was a lot more comfortable. It was warm below deck, and he took off his jacket and tie. “I'm gonna go change,” he said. “I'll be back in a minute.” He walked to his room. As he headed through the hallway, he saw John slipping out of Frances’ room quietly.

“She's asleep,” John whispered. “I'm gonna go talk to Laf for a minute.”

“I'm changing out of this stupid suit,” Alex returned in the same hushed tone. “Hey, um. Do you want to tell Laf about...us going on a date tomorrow?”

“Do you  _ want _ me to tell them?” John asked quickly.

“I'm okay with it. And that way they won't try to tag along,” Alex pointed out.

“True,” John laughed. “Okay, sure. I'll tell them what happened.”

“But, um. Not what Jefferson said to me, okay?”

“Of course not. You talk about that when you're ready.” John touched his shoulder gently. “Come back out when you've changed?”

“Yep.” Alex offered him a small smile and slipped into his room, closing the door behind him. He rummaged through his bag of clothes and pulled out a soft old sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. He was cold and tired and didn't really care about looking presentable right now, so he put them on. He plugged his phone in and sat on the bunk for a few minutes, gathering the strength he needed to go back out and continue talking to people, even people he really liked. But eventually, he had to go back.

Lafayette’s excited voice came from the galley. “Oh,  _ mon cher  _ John, I am so happy for you! This is wonderful,  _ non _ ? I am so glad you two finally admitted it to each other.”

“Finally? Laf, we've known each other for five days,” John pointed out. “I hardly think we're moving too slowly.”

“I have seen where this was going since the first time you met,” Lafayette informed him. “Admit it, you liked him immediately.”

Alex stepped into the room. “I've liked John since before we met,” he said casually. “I thought you were cute just from the picture of you standing over a nest in the file I was given.”

John looked up at him, startled. “Seriously?” he exclaimed.

“Seriously,” Alex laughed.

“Well.” John was blushing, his brown skin turning pink on his cheeks beneath the spatters of freckles. “Well. Um, I kind of just...I liked you as soon as you started talking.”

“See, that's when most people  _ stop _ liking me.” Alex glanced over at Lafayette, who was watching this exchange with big, excited, thrilled eyes. “What?” he said.

They blinked. “Nothing,  _ mon cher _ . It is just...you two are quite adorable.”

Alex laughed. Now he was blushing. “Thanks, I guess.” He yawned suddenly.

“Even after sleeping for seven hours in the middle of the day, you're still tired?” John exclaimed.

Sheepishly, Alex admitted, “I may not have eaten anything this morning. Or all afternoon, since, you know. I was asleep.”

John groaned. “I told you to eat. You said you went through seven years of law school in four years, how the hell did you not forget to take care of yourself for a week and just collapse?”

“I did, a couple of times. But I managed, for the most part.” Alex yawned again. “I'm gonna go to bed. Date tomorrow?”

“Yes, date tomorrow,” John said. He sounded almost exasperated. “But for God's sake,  _ please _ eat something before you go to bed.”

Alex almost said that he wasn't hungry, but realized that probably wouldn't have been a good idea and would probably prove John’s point. If he hadn't eaten all day and still wasn't hungry, it was probably because he had passed the stage of physical hunger pangs. He was well-versed in these stages. “I've gone longer without food,” he muttered.

John pushed him towards a chair, and he sat down without any protest. “Sit there, and I will get you something to eat,” he instructed.

“Bossy.” Alex smirked as John rolled his eyes. “But I don't mind.”

Lafayette snorted and John turned bright red, mumbled something, and busied himself pulling food out of the cupboards. “You're not allergic to peanuts, are you?” he checked.

“Nope.” Alex watched as John made him a peanut butter sandwich. “I am capable of doing that by myself,” he pointed out. “I'm not a child.”

“Except you were planning on just going off to bed without having eaten anything  _ all day _ ,” John retorted. “Let someone take care of you for once.”

“You've all been taking care of me more than you should have had to recently,” Alex said, slightly guiltily.

“ _ Oui _ , but we do not mind,” Lafayette said. “John, Alex, I am going to be heading to bed myself. I find myself quite tired after worrying about you two all day.”

“Sleep well, Laf,” John said.

“G’night,” Alex added.

On their way out of the galley, Lafayette stopped and turned back to say something. “Oh, and you two? No...how do you put it? No funny business tonight.”

Alex coughed slightly. “Excuse me?”

Lafayette winked and left.

John laughed. “Just because  _ they'll  _ sleep with someone before the first date, they think everyone will,” he said. “I go more slowly than that.”

“So do I, don't worry,” Alex replied.

“Here's your sandwich,” John announced, placing it in front of him.

Alex nearly laughed. The sandwich had been cut into quarters, like he had seen John preparing one for Frances. John glanced down to see what Alex was reacting to, then smiled sheepishly.

“I guess habits are hard to break,” he said. “Hope you don't mind?”

“I don't mind,” Alex assured him. “And thank you.”

“No problem. Eat that and go to sleep, okay? I'll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Goodnight,” Alex said.

John started to head out, but hesitated. He turned back towards Alex, who was sitting at the table and watching curiously, wondering what John was doing. The freckled man put his hands on Alex’s shoulders, bent down, and kissed him quickly.

His skin was warm and smooth against Alex’s. Where they touched, Alex felt like he was brushing against the stars. He had never felt this way kissing anyone before.

As John pulled back, Alex stared at him. He was reeling slightly.

“Sorry, should...should I not have done that?” John asked softly.

“No, no, um...thank you. That was...really nice.” Alex smiled.

John looked relieved. “Oh. Thank you. Um, it was. Really nice, that is. Um. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

John left. Alex stared after him for a minute, unable to shake the ghost of John’s lips on his. He pulled himself together enough to eat his sandwich, but he had a hard time falling asleep. He couldn't think about anything besides wanting to kiss John again, to feel those stars against his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm too tired for notes, i love you all, pls comment it makes me so happy, hugs to all and to all a good frikkin night goodnight <333333333333 ~clare


	9. Ten Dollar

After sleeping quite late the next morning, Alex and John began walking to Revel’s Diner hand in hand. “What will the Schuyler sisters say when they see us?” Alex giggled.

“Well, I'm not  _ sure _ , but I bet Eliza will just be very smug. Apparently she and Laf both called it.” John squeezed his hand a couple times. “To be honest, she probably already knows, I bet Laf already texted her.”

“You think?” Alex asked.

“Yep.” John looked over and winked. “They probably texted Angie, too, but not about us.”

“Oh, man, it's really that bad, huh?”

“Ugh, it’s awful. And they don’t understand that they don’t have a chance, Angie just isn’t interested. I’ve been telling them to get over her for almost two years, but they just don’t listen. Ever. Not unless you’re saying something they want to hear. Stubborn French idiot,” John finished in a mutter.

“How did you two meet?” Alex wondered.

“Right, so Laf moved to America, right, and they stayed with your boss, Washington, and his wife for a while. And then Washington was hired by my dad for some big case, I’m not gonna go into the details ‘cause it’s boring as hell, and he had to come out to South Carolina, and Lafayette tagged along. Great big camera hanging around their neck, wearing a skirt that was just a little too short.” 

Alex laughed, and John shot him a grin before continuing.

“Well, I had just gotten back from England at the time. I told you my dad wanted me to be a lawyer, and he sent me and my brother to England to study. Told me not to come home until I’d gotten my degree.”

“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “That’s...a bit over the top. Wait, brother?”

John got a guarded look in his eyes. “He died,” he said softly.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks. When James died, I came back. I couldn’t stay in England anymore, especially not studying something I didn’t care about. My dad and I...we never saw eye to eye, of course, and he didn’t want me to stay with him and my other siblings. I’ve got two sisters and another brother, by the way. I haven’t seen any of them, or my dad, in almost two years. And that was just for Christmas. My sister had just had a baby, and she wanted me to meet my nephew, but I got into a fight with my dad and stormed off. Sorry, I got off track,” he realized.

“It’s fine,” Alex said. “Hey, we’re almost to the diner, wanna finish this conversation after we order?”

“Sure.”

Eliza, surprisingly, said nothing about them being there together. She did wink at Alex once when John’s back was turned, though. “I'll leave you boys alone,” she said after bringing them their food (Alex had ordered scrambled eggs instead of pancakes, surprisingly, and John got waffles again), and disappeared into the kitchen.

“You were telling me how you met Laf,” Alex prompted.

“Right,” John remembered. “Well, Washington and my dad were talking about some stuff about the case they were working on about this legislation that dealt with something about some regulation of the government in South Carolina, I didn't really pay much attention because it was boring. And I was doing my best to hide from my family because they were all being awful, and I was out in the grounds behind my dad's house--I told you he was rich. Anyway, I was basically sulking. I was seventeen, remember that, okay.”

“You and Laf met…” Alex did the calculation in his head quickly. “Eight years ago? Wow.”

“Yeah, we go way back. I was sitting out by the pond and just kinda brooding, when suddenly this weird French kid popped up next to me, jabbering and asking me tons of questions and wanting me to show them around and help them find things to take pictures of. You think they're enthusiastic now? Try talking to them when they were sixteen, Alex.” John shook his head in mock-horror. “I swear, it was like being bombarded with a non-stop, question throwing machine gun.”

“Colorful metaphor,” laughed Alex. “Did you ever find them something to take pictures of?”

“Yeah, we walked around and talked for a while. Laf has gotten a lot better at English, though it was almost impossible to understand them at first. I think we still have some of the pictures they took that day. We bonded over being queer. Actually, Laf was the first person I officially came out to,” John confided. “I was a sheltered South Carolinian boy, you know. Didn't have many people I could talk to about these things.”

Alex nodded sympathetically. “I totally understand.”

“And later, my dad made some rude comment to me about...oh, God. I really don't want to repeat him word for word, because he misgendered Laf and used a ton of slurs, but he basically said that he was going to fire Washington and hire somebody who wouldn't bring their, um, fag boy kid along with them.”

Alex winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah...I kind of snapped. I'd only met Laf that day, but I was already really fond of them, you know? I almost came out to him then and there, just to spite him or something. Or maybe because I'm honestly just a little self-destructive, who knows.” John’s tone said he was joking, but his words were serious. “We almost came to blows, but if we had, I would have hit him first. I don't want you thinking that he was abusive, Alex, he wasn't. He's not a good person, but he never hit me or anything. I don't like him, and he doesn't like me, but we still love each other, if you know what I mean. You can't choose your family, you can only make the best out of what you've got. And if the best you can do is seeing them once every few years and send Christmas cards, then that's all you can do. But I decided I  _ could _ choose my friends, and my life. So I went to England with James and tried to look after him and get through law school, but he got really sick and died in our first year over there. Came back to the States, and, well, I bought a boat. I was eighteen by then, and I just wanted to make my father angry, because I was furious at him for sending me and James away. So I moved to Sandoval, called up Lafayette, asked them to move in with me, and they and Herc joined me on  _ The Revolution.  _ That's when I started LPST. I named it that because I was sure my dad wouldn't want to be associated with a nonprofit organization that worked to save sea turtles. Again, most of what I did that year was to spite him.”

“Sounds like you had good reason.”

John shrugged. “Maybe, but honestly I was just being a stupid, grieving kid. I missed my little brother like hell, Alex. I was just being bitter. Everything I did, I did because I was spiting my dad, not because I really cared about what I was doing.”

“I decided to be a lawyer out of spite,” Alex offered. “Everyone I talked to thought that an immigrant orphan with a heavy accent wouldn't even be able to get accepted into college, let alone get a full-ride scholarship and complete a seven year program in four. Man, did I amaze and astonish ‘em all when I got my degree.” Alex grinned proudly as he remembered the look on his counselor’s face when he had announced that he was ready to graduate with full honors and an advanced diploma.

Wonderingly, John shook his head. “Now, see, you amaze me, too,” he said. He took a bite of his waffles, neglected slightly in favor of telling his story. “I couldn't get through a full year of law school, Alex. How did you do it?”

“I don't know.” Alex thought about it for a second. “I guess, compared to surviving on Nevis, working all day just to afford food...writing an essay a day and going without sleep for a week seemed easy. A small price to pay for what it was giving me, a chance to make a difference. I had a shot of doing something wonderful, and I wasn't gonna throw it away, no matter what anyone told me.”

John was gazing at him very fondly. “You've got a great story, and a great way of telling it. You should talk more often.”

Alex almost choked on his sip of coffee in disbelief. “I'm sorry, what?” he managed with difficulty, sputtering around the coffee he had just inhaled. “Do my ears deceive me, or did someone just actually tell me that I should talk  _ more _ , not less?”

“I mean it,” John insisted. “You've been letting me babble on all morning. It really should be your turn.”

Alex got his coughing under control. “John,  _ nobody _ tells me to talk more,” he said feebly. “Nobody. Ever. That's like talking to a lion and saying, oh, you haven't been biting recently. Why don't you attack someone now?”

“You're not that bad!” exclaimed John.

Alex raised a doubtful eyebrow. “You've never really heard me talk once I got going.”

“And you've heard me do just that. So talk, Alexander Hamilton. Entertain me.” John leaned back expectantly.

“John, I don't know what you're expecting me to say,” Alex admitted. “I don't really have any interesting stories that you haven't heard yet.”

“Tell me about where you grew up, about where you work now. The people you knew in college. The teachers you hated, the teachers you loved. There's plenty of stories, Alex, you've just got to think of them.”

“Where I grew up?” Alex echoed. “I've told you. I lived on Nevis. It's a tiny island in the Caribbean, everyone there is incredibly poor, there's a lot of sand and not much in the way of commodities. I lived in a tiny house with my mother for the first twelve years of my life, and then she got sick. Typhoid. She died, and I went to live with my cousin, who killed himself about a year later.”

John winced. “I'm sorry.”

Alex shrugged. “I'm didn't know him very well. But it meant I had to fend for myself, and I worked for six years. Then the hurricane came…” Alex tried to block out the intrusive memories and pressed onwards. “I started writing. A couple of people found my writing and decided I was too smart to be stuck on Nevis hauling sugarcane for the rest of my life. They decided to raise me the funds to get sent to America, trusted that I would get into a college, and I came to New York.”

John had a faraway look in his eyes. “That's a very compelling story, Alex.”

“Thanks. It's my story, I guess.” He shrugged. “I swear, there really isn't much to tell after that.”

“How did you meet Jefferson? I know he was your boss at one point, but surely there's more to it than that.”

Alex wasn't sure he wanted to talk about Jefferson right now, but John looked so curious. “I had just graduated. I was looking for jobs, bouncing around from internship to internship, and I was working in a fast-food restaurant to support myself because nobody would pay me to be a lawyer full-time yet. And then Madison and I struck up a conversation. We had both gone to the same university, and he wanted to know if I wanted a job at the firm he had just joined. I said of course, he said he'd talk to his boss.”

“But little did you know, his boss is a dick,” John commented.

“Exactly,” Alex laughed. “I lasted precisely two and a half weeks there, came into work twice completely drunk, insulted Jefferson in front of potential clients several times, and punched him in the face, breaking his nose, before he fired me.”

“Damn. What exactly happened to make you punch him?” John asked.

“Eh, he said something about my status as a queer immigrant bastard,” Alex said dismissively. “He'd been making comments for a while, but I guess that was just the last straw.”

John sucked air in sharply. “Shit. He called you that?”

“I've been called worse. But he was already on my nerves. And I was kind of already angry at myself because I had drunkenly accidentally come out to him and Madison.” Alex rubbed his temple tiredly. “Part of me wishes I hadn't done that, but if I hadn't, who knows how long I would have kept working there just because I was desperate for money.”

Impulsively, John reached over and took Alex’s hand. “I'm sorry. I know how scary it is to be outed involuntarily.”

“Thanks.” Alex squeezed his hand gratefully. “But after Jefferson fired me, I met Aaron, who got me a job with Washington. I think he regrets that a bit now, because Washington promoted me instead of Aaron. But that's just because I'm actually capable of forming my own opinions about things, as opposed to him.”

“Sounds like a difficult person to have a conversation with,” John observed.

“Yeah, but at least he's easy to work with, even if we have nothing in common and aren't really friends outside of work. Occasionally, I can get him to talk about his girlfriend, Theo, but that's about it.” Alex laughed. “She's the only person he'll talk about with any emotion, it's hilarious to see him go from completely blank to super passionate.”

“Well, I'm glad that Washington sent you, not Aaron,” John said.

“Me too,” Alex replied.

They smiled at each other. Then, John leaned forward and Alex met him in the middle. They kissed over the table, John´s lips tasting slightly like maple syrup and coffee.

A delighted squeal came from over by the kitchen door, and Alex and John broke apart quickly, looking over at Eliza, who had clapped her hands over her mouth. “Sorry,” she whispered. “It’s just, Lafayette owes me ten bucks now.”

Alex and John exchanged a glance. “I’m going to kill them,” the two men said in unison.

Eliza laughed and fled back into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today, I've been neglecting you guys! School just started for me and I've been super busy. ~Clare


	10. Take a Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex works, and there is a surprise.

Their hand resting on their hip, Lafayette glared at John and Alex. “You two kissed on the first date. I have to give Eliza ten dollars now,” they said.

Alex raised his eyebrows. “Firstly, you shouldn’t be betting on relationships. Secondly, joke’s on both of you. Our first kiss was last night.”

Lafayette sputtered, and then grinned. “Ah! So Eliza was wrong, as well! This is wonderful. I will not lose ten dollars.” They laughed delightedly and walked away.

John rolled his eyes. “Sorry. My friends are ridiculous.”

“I don’t mind,” Alex responded. “This morning was amazing, but I’m gonna go and work on our case against Empire. I’m going to contact the Secretary of Commerce and see if he has anything to say for himself. If we can prove that he was blackmailed or bribed, the license will get revoked automatically.”

“You should definitely go work on that, then,” John agreed. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“Thanks. I think I’m going to have to contact Washington to get in touch with Mr. Jay, though, there’s no way he’d respond to someone as unknown as me. Washington’s got connections. It might take a while, so I’ll work on other aspects of the case as well.” Alex headed to his room.

He adopted the position he had often taken while studying in college, cross-legged on the floor with his laptop precariously balanced on his shins, hunched over in a way he knew that his neck would not be very pleased with the next day. He wrote an email to Washington explaining his plight, and worked on what he was going to say to the Secretary of Commerce when he got the response he wanted from his boss.

The email from Washington stated that Jay was willing to talk to Alex, but that he didn’t know what Alex hoped to learn and apologized for not being more helpful. Alex spent a few hours emailing back and forth with the Secretary, explaining the circumstances and posing questions in what Alex hoped was a very respectful way. However, Jay eventually flatly refused knowing anything about any unlawful dealings with Empire Hotels, and claimed that Jefferson had all of what he needed to legally acquire the permit for his client.

Frustrated, Alex thanked him for his time and turned back to his research about George King himself. Of course, that just made him more frustrated and angry, because for God’s sake, why does having a lot of money mean you should be able to get away with things that are wrong or unlawful?

A couple of times, John and Lafayette would come and try to talk to him, but he would either ignore them or snap at them. After the third time this happened, they had left him alone. However, even concentrating completely and focusing his whole attention on the issue at hand didn’t yield much in the way of progress or results. It was nearly seven at night before Alex even glanced at the clock again. No matter how hard he worked, the day had been  _ wasted _ . He had accomplished nothing. He needed to work harder.

Two hours after that, John apparently had finally gotten fed up. Alex heard him and Lafayette walking down the hallway, arguing softly.

“ _ Mon cher _ , he has said quite clearly that he does not wish to be disturbed while he is working,” they said.

John retorted, “I don’t care. He’s gonna kill himself if he keeps working like this. Go back out and keep taking pictures. Alex!” There was a loud knock at the door. Alex ignored it. He had work to do. “Alex, I’m coming in.”

“I’m trying to save your turtles, can’t you let me do what I have to do?” Alex said irritatedly.

“That’s very noble,” John said, walking into the room. “But you need to take a break.”

“I took a break this morning.”

“Uh-huh, but you’ve been sitting in this...extremely comfortable position since then, staring at a screen. I’m sure that your body and eyes would appreciate it if you at least stood up for a bit.” John knelt down in front of Alex and put his hand on the top of Alex’s laptop threateningly. “I’m gonna count to ten.”

Alex glared at him. “Don’t talk to me like I’m your four year old kid, John.”

“One.”

“Not going to work.”

“Two.”

Alex saved the document and closed the laptop. “Damn you,” he muttered.

John grinned, delighted. “I wasn’t expecting that to work! C’mon, I wanna show you something outside.”

“Is this just a ruse to get me to stop working?” Alex sighed, putting his laptop to the side.

“Partially? But I actually do want you to see something.” John offered Alex his hands and pulled him to his feet.

“What is it?”

“A surprise,” John said. “Lafayette is on the beach right now, and Herc joined us, too. It’s just you who’s never seen this before, anyway. It’s practically a rite of passage for the Revolutionary Set by now, so hurry up.”

Confused, Alex followed John up to the deck and down to the beach. A nearly full moon hung brightly in the sky. Lafayette and Hercules stood by the hull of the ship, Lafayette armed with their camera. They were all silent, the only sound on the beach being the quiet lapping of the waves. Alex looked towards where Lafayette was pointing the camera, but wasn’t sure what he was looking for.

John took his hand, pointed. Alex finally saw. He gasped.

Slowly pulling itself out of the surf came crawling a huge, dark sea turtle. Alex watched in awe as she dragged her way up the beach, her bulk, which would have looked perfectly at home in the water, appearing cumbersome and out of place but still so natural on land. “ _ Holy shit _ ,” he whispered eloquently.

John squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. “I know,” he breathed.

“You two are already disgustingly cute,” muttered Hercules. “Just watch the fucking turtle and stop making heart eyes at each other.”

Alex laughed quietly and turned his attention back to the beautiful spectacle. Once the turtle had gotten well past the waterline, she began sweeping her front flippers across the sand.

“She’s building a body pit,” John said softly. “She’ll make it big enough to lay in completely, and then dig the nest hole with her back flippers. She’ll lay between fifty and a hundred eggs, and then she’ll cover them back up in a mound and go back to sea. It might take an hour, might take two. Sometimes longer. We won’t get any closer to her, or she could get stressed out, which could be dangerous for her in this vulnerable stage. They lay at night for a reason, it’s much more secure for them. Less predators. Although there aren’t really any around here that would attack a turtle, maybe in places with bears. But the little foxes we have on the island might dig up the eggs, so she’s got to bury them pretty deep. Makes it annoying for us to count, but usually we can tell where the nests are just by the tracks and the mound. They’re pretty distinctive. After storms, though, it’s harder. So we keep an eye out every night on this beach, check every morning for new nests. We were lucky enough to catch this one.”

“It's incredible.”

“You want to keep watching?” John asked. Alex nodded, and John sat down on the sand, his back against the hull of the ship. He patted the ground next to him,  and Alex sat. He put his head on John’s shoulder as Lafayette decided they had taken enough pictures for now and collapsed dramatically beside them, pulling Hercules down by the arm and flopping with their entire torso draped over Hercules’ lap. Alex felt like, despite only knowing these people for a week, he had always been a part of their group. He felt at home here, on this tiny island and its hugely personable people. He didn’t want to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love turtles okay fight me. ~Clare


	11. I Need A Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has to fly home to New York, and Lafayette goes with him, leaving the island two people short, not knowing if there will still be enough protection to save the island, the turtles, and the people on the island.

“Alexander,” Washington said over the phone.

“You asked me to call you when I had time, sir?” Alex responded.

“Now, I know that you’re busy with your case in South Carolina, but…”

Alex bit his lip. “What do you need?”

“Well, I was contacted yesterday by Thomas Jefferson,” Washington began.

Alex’s heart skipped a beat. “Whatever you heard, Jefferson started it!” he insisted.

“I’m sure. But he didn’t contact me about you, Alexander. He stated in no uncertain terms that he wanted to have my current position as president of this firm,” Washington explained.

Relieved, Alex laughed. “Not as long as you’re around, sir. Thank God, I thought it was something--”

“Alexander, I’m retiring next month.”

Slowly, Alex dropped back to sit on his bed, his breath catching in his throat. “I’m sorry, what?” he asked eventually.

Washington’s breath crackled over the phone as he sighed. “Alexander, I’m not as young as I used to be, and I miss spending time with Martha and my daughters. I’m tired. I’d like to go home again. I’ve been planning this for a while, but I wasn’t going to tell my employees just yet. In case...well, in case Jefferson does take over--”

“Never--”

“If that happens, I want to put a few things in place, so that he can’t alter too greatly what I’ve worked so hard to build. Alex, I need a favor.”

“Whatever you say, sir,” Alex said blankly.

“I need you to come back to New York for a few days.”

Alex began to protest. “But, sir, I have to keep working with John and Lafayette, I can’t leave now! There’s so much work to do, I can’t lose this case.”

Washington sounded almost amused. “I’m glad you turned out to be so passionate about this, and that you and Lafayette and Mr. Laurens get along so well, but I need your help, Alexander. I need you to help me write something, something that will hopefully stop our firm from changing to something that we never stood for.”

“I can’t leave now--”

“Alexander, you’ll be back before your next court case. It’s Sunday morning. We’ll pay for your airfare, I’ll send you your tickets. You’ll be back on Tuesday morning, and your court date is Wednesday evening. You have plenty of time. Please, son. I need your help.”

Alex was still reeling from the news that Washington was going to be leaving the firm. “Alright,” he said finally. “I’ll come back.”

“Thank you. Oh, and I’ve talked to Lafayette, who wants to accompany you. I’m afraid I haven’t seen them in a long time, and they’ve missed me. I wanted to talk to you before they did, tell you myself. I figured it would be easier that way,” Washington added kindly.

“Thank you, sir. And...I’ll be back in New York today. I’ll come to your office?”

“That’s fine, Alex. Thank you for doing this for me. Goodbye, son.” Washington hung up.

Alex let go of his phone. It made a clattering sound as it fell to the ground. He didn’t even bother picking it up. Washington was leaving...what was the firm going to do without him? He had practically built their offices with his bare hands. (Slight exaggeration, but not much.) He was just about the first person in America to have treated Alex with instant respect. Alex didn’t want to leave the firm, but without Washington...and if Jefferson took over…

It didn’t bear thinking about. So he wouldn’t think about it, he wouldn’t let it happen. Never.

Falsely calm, Alex walked out to the galley. Frances, John, and Lafayette were all there, having breakfast. At the first glance at Alex, Lafayette stood up quickly. “George called you,  _ non _ ?”

Alex nodded.

“And what did you say,  _ mon ami _ ?”

“We’re leaving this afternoon, right?” Alex replied, answering their question indirectly.

“That is correct.”

John wouldn’t look at Alex. Frances, however, stared at him curiously. “Why are you leaving?” she asked sadly. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“Someone needs my help, back in New York,” Alex explained simply. “But I’ll be back next Tuesday.”

She seemed okay with that. “Oh. Well, I’ll miss you,” she told him sweetly.

“I’ll miss you, too,” Alex laughed.

Fiddling his fingers on top of the table, John said, “You should eat something. Laf told me what’s going on, I’ll drive you to the airport.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Alex said, surprised. “And don’t worry about the case, I won’t forget about it while I’m in New York. I’ll keep working on it, I promise. We’re gonna win this.”

“I know,” John said. “I know. And I’d like to drive you. Peggy’ll come and stay with Frances, it’ll be fine.”

“I wanna go with you!” Frances protested.

“Oh, really? Well, I think you’re gonna like staying home and watching movies with Peggy all day, don’t you? Maybe, if you’re good, she’ll even bring some of those cookies that Angie makes…” John hinted cajolingly.

Frances didn’t need any more convincing than that. “Okay, I’ll be good.”

“Thank you, darlin’. Alex,  _ eat something _ . Collapsing on a plane isn’t a good idea. Also, I’m pretty sure you didn’t have anything since breakfast yesterday.”

“You are being a mother hen,” Alex grumbled, but got himself a bowl of cereal.

“Hmm, yeah, well, sometimes I think you need a mother hen.” John rolled his eyes dramatically at Frances, who giggled. “Men are stubborn, Fran. Remember that when you get older, okay?”

“Okay,” she promised.

“Our flight is at one, Alex,” Lafayette informed him. “It is eight now, and it takes three hours to get to the airport, so we should leave as soon as we can.”

“I’ll go get ready.” Alex stood up and was going to leave his half-eaten bowl of cereal on the table when both John and Lafayette shot him a stern look that said  _ sit down and finish eating, or so help me... _ He sat down meekly.

On the ferry to the mainland, Alex and John and Lafayette talked about a lot of things, but nothing important until a few minutes before the ferry pulled into the dock.

“John?” Alex said suddenly after a few seconds of silence.

“Huh?”

“This timing really sucks,” Alex admitted.

“Yeah,” John agreed readily.

Lafayette leaned back and pretended to be very interested in their purple and blue painted fingernails all of a sudden.

“But I'll be back in three days, and we can pick up where we left off, right?” Alex asked nervously.

“Of course!” John exclaimed vehemently. “Alex, you don't think that you having to go back to New York for a few days changes anything, do you?”

Alex had to admit, the thought had crossed his mind. After all, he would be gone for longer than he and John had been together. “I don't know?”

“Well, it doesn't,” John said. “Look, I'll miss you like hell and wish every minute that I was getting to know you better, but I know you'll be back. It's fine.”

Alex tentatively stretched his hand across the table towards John’s. “I'll only have kissed you twice in five days,” he pointed out.

Without heeding the fact that they were technically in public, although there weren't many other people on the ferry and even less looking their way, John leaned across the third of the circular table that separated him and Alex and kissed him soundly. The flash of a camera startled them apart and they turned to stare apart Lafayette, who shrugged unabashedly.

“When did you even get your camera out?” John wanted to know.

“Always prepared,  _ mon cher _ ,” they giggled. Then they popped the SD card out of the camera and  tossed it to John. “I have more cards. Keep that one for now, because I know you will miss him sorely.”

John squinted. “Laf...Three days. I don't need a picture of us kissing for three days apart.”

“Well, keep it anyway,” they replied simply.

John glanced at Alex, who shrugged. John pocketed the card. “Thanks, I guess.”

At the airport, John did not kiss Alex again, but he did hug both him and Lafayette. “I'll see you soon,  _ mon ami _ ,” Laf said.

“I hope you and your honorary dad have fun catching up. And Alex, good luck. Looking forward to when you come back.” He surreptitiously squeezed Alex’s hand. “Have a safe flight,” he whispered, and left.

After security and boarding, Alex began pacing his breathing like he always did before his plane took off. The safety announcements began, and Alex quickly pulled his headphones out of his bag and put them on. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the screen on the back of the seat in front of him.  _ None of the things they're talking about are gonna happen _ , he told himself.  _ It's all just to be overly careful. No reason to worry. _

The plane began to move, and Alex gripped the arm of his chair tightly. A hand on his arm made him jump slightly, and his eyes snapped open. “I am sorry,  _ mon cher _ , I did not mean to startle you,” Lafayette said gently. “Are you alright?”

“Kinda,” Alex said. “I'll be okay when we get up in the air.”

Lafayette looked like they understood. “You do not like flying,  _ non _ .”

“No,” Alex agreed. The plane was speeding up. He was being pressed back into his seat, a little light-headed. “Not really.” His voice was a little higher than it normally was.

Without saying a word, Lafayette trailed their hand down Alex’s arm and grabbed his hand tightly. Alex clung to it, embarrassed but grateful. The plane tilted its nose upwards, and they were in the air. Alex held his breath as the plane tilted back and forth a little, making his stomach swoop. When the now airborne plane steadied, Alex let out the breath and sighed heavily. “Thanks,” he mumbled softly.

Lafayette patted his hand before letting go. “It is no problem, Alex. I also do not particularly like flying, but I have had to get used to it. The flight from Paris to New York or Charleston is much longer than the one between the second two.”

“I'm not very fond of any kind of travel. Boats, cars, planes...I don't really like the subway, either, but that's more because of the people than the actual train,” Alex admitted.

“I understand,  _ mon cher. _ But we can distract ourselves,  _ non _ ? I am sure you brought books or your laptop, though we are not allowed to take computers out quite yet.” They reached below the seat in front of them and pulled a book out of their bag. “I am going to be reading most of the way there, but if you would like to talk or are feeling anxious again, do not hesitate to disrupt me from my book.”

“Thanks.” Alex readjusted his headphones and began to play his music from his phone. Classical, mainly. That was for anxiety, anyway. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the plane window, feeling the cold plastic against his skin and the shuddering vibrations that ran throughout the plane. It wasn't comfortable, it made his teeth jar against each other harshly, but he didn't move. He wanted to fall asleep, and he was going to have to rest against  _ something _ .

Then a gentle hand tugged on his shoulder and made him fall over the other way, so his head was leaning on Lafayette’s shoulder. “The other way will give you a headache,  _ mon ami _ ,” they said concernedly. “You can use me as a pillow if you wish. I am sure I am more comfortable than the wall.”

“Thanks,” Alex said again. He closed his eyes and dozed off, Mozart playing in his ears and Lafayette’s shoulder warm and solid under his head. This was better than sitting alone and staving off a panic attack for five hours, he reflected sleepily. This wasn't bad at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some really disappointing news today and I'm feeling kind of worthless, so any feedback on this chapter would be amazing. Things are just starting to heat up...I love you, stay safe! <3 ~Clare


	12. Can We Talk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

“George!” Lafayette exclaimed happily, pushing past Alex to rush into Washington’s office. Alex’s boss was sitting at his desk, but he stood up to hug the enthusiastic Lafayette.

“Hey, there,” Washington greeted, patting them on the back. “Been a while. How have you been?”

“I am well! You?”

“I’m alright. Alex, hello. Thank you for coming back up on such short notice.” Washington sat back down.

“It was no problem,” Alex replied. “What can I help you with?”

“Well, as you know, Jefferson wants to buy this firm and take over as president after I’ve retired. So I’m working on a memo to send to all of our employees explaining the situation and suggesting a course of action for everyone to follow. Will you help me write it?” Washington requested.

“Of course. Let me see what you’ve got so far.” Alex sat down in one of the spare chairs in the corner of the office, Lafayette taking the other one.

Washington passed Alex his laptop. “I’ve only got an outline of a couple of points I want to talk about. I want to talk about staying impartial during cases. And I want to warn against disagreements between any two people assigned to one case, because that causes problems. If they don’t agree on something, they shouldn’t really be working a case together.”

“I can work with that.” Alex started typing.

Meanwhile, in South Carolina, John Laurens was sitting in a diner, eating lunch. Nothing was out of place. Nothing was wrong. Alex would return in a few days, and they would save the beach and continue their budding relationship, facing whatever came next.

But when John stood up to leave the diner, a small rectangular card fell from his pocket and clattered to the ground. He didn't notice that it was gone. He didn't see it fall. The card stayed on the ground in the diner, unnoticed, for several hours.

Not forever, though. Someone else found the card that evening, leaned over, picked it up, looked at it curiously.

He shrugged, and put the camera card in his pocket. He'd take a look at later, maybe figure out who it belonged to, so he could give it back to them. Who knows, maybe it was someone on the island who would be grateful that their pictures were being returned to them. And Thomas Jefferson knew that he needed as many local people on his side as he could get.

 

_ Hey, Alex, can we talk? _ -J.Laurens

Alex looked at the text he had woken up to nervously. He hoped that nothing was wrong. Maybe something had happened. Maybe…

_ Of course. What's up? _ -A.Ham.

The response took several minutes to come through.  _ Something has come up. I think you shouldn't come back on Tuesday. _ -J.Laurens

Alex’s heart nearly stopped.  _ What do you mean? _ -A.Ham

_ I mean, don't come back to Sandoval. I'm sorry. _ -J.Laurens

Hands shaking, Alex typed,  _ John, I'm not sure I understand. What about the case? _ -A.Ham

_ I can handle it. _ -J.Laurens

_ Did something happen? _ -A.Ham

_ Doesn't matter. Just don't come back.  _ -J.Laurens

_ Is everything okay? John, what the hell is wrong? What changed from yesterday?  _ -A.Ham

_ Stop asking. Please. I'm sorry. Just don't come back. Don't worry about the case, you're not working it anymore.  _ -J.Laurens

_ Are you firing me? _ -A.Ham

_ Yes. _ -J.Laurens

Alex was staring at the little blue bubble on his screen. He had to ask.  _ Are you breaking up with me, too? _ -A.Ham. As he waited for the response, he could feel tears starting to prick at the corners of his eyes. He was not prepared to wake up to such a conversation today.

_ I don't know. Alex, I'm sorry. I have to figure something out and I can't tell you about it. Please try to trust me.  _ -J.Laurens

Trust him? Trust him to do what?  _ Alright. If you figure it out, please let me know.  _ -A.Ham

_ I will.  _ -J.Laurens

Alex ended the conversation there. He dropped his phone onto his bed. His bed in his apartment was more comfortable than the bunk he had used on  _ The Revolution _ , but he kind of missed the ship anyway. He was stunned. He wasn't going back to Sandoval. He wasn't going to keep working with the turtles, with John. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it.

 

“John said  _ what _ ?” Lafayette exclaimed. They sounded as shocked as Alex was.

“He said I'm not coming back to Sandoval,” Alex replied blankly. “He says that he's firing me.”

There was a long pause of silence over the phone. Alex had called Lafayette, not knowing who else he could talk to. They didn't really know what to say, however. “Do...do you want me to talk to him,  _ mon ami _ ?” they asked tentatively.

Yes. Yes, Alex really did. But John had said to trust him, and as upset as he was, Alex wouldn't step over John’s boundaries. Whatever those might be at the moment. “No. That's okay. But, um...that means you're gonna be flying back by yourself. Sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Alexander. I am sure that whatever has happened is not your fault.” Lafayette sighed. “I am talking to George and Martha. I stepped out of the room when you called,  _ mon cher,  _ but they will want to know what you were saying. Would you like me to tell them what has happened?”

Alex would prefer that to having to explain to Washington that he had lost the job himself. “Yes, please.”

“Do you want me to come by your apartment later, or to be at your office when you come to help George today?” they offered kindly.

“You don't need to do that.”

“Yes, but would you like me to?”

“You have no reason to even keep talking to me after this, I'm not working for LPST anymore,” Alex reminded him.

“We are  _ friends _ ,” Lafayette insisted. “That is every reason to keep talking to you. I will be at George's office in case you need to talk to anyone. Goodbye,  _ mon cher _ .”

“Bye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. <3 ~Clare


	13. Difficile à Satisfaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is wrong...

“I'm guessing that the case didn't pan out?” Aaron Burr greeted Alex with as he walked through the office door.

Alex started to snap at him irritatedly, but took a deep breath. Aaron didn't know. “It didn't, but I'm back because Washington needed my help with something.”

“He hasn't gotten in yet,” Aaron said.

“Really? That's weird.” Alex sat down at his desk. It felt odd to be back there after so long in South Carolina. It hadn't even been that long, though, he reflected. It felt like he hadn't been there in ages, but it really was just about a week.

“Not really,” Aaron said nonchalantly. “He's been coming in a little later every day for about a week. I think he must be trying to get us used to him not being here.”

“You know?” Alex said, surprised. He thought that Washington had said he hadn't told anyone else except Alex.

“He doesn't say it, but we all know he's leaving.” Aaron squinted. “Have  _ you _ heard anything else?”

“I can't talk about it,” Alex said. He probably  _ could _ , but he didn't want to.

“Okay.” Burr turned back to his laptop. Alex was usually glad that he shared an office with someone so quiet, but right now he was desperate for a distraction.

“How's Theo?” Alex asked.

Burr actually smiled as he looked up. “She's wonderful. Actually...we're having a baby.”

Alex hadn't expected that. “Wow. Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” Burr fell back into his passive, calm voice and turned back to his work.

Alex tapped his fingers against his desk. He felt the urge to work on the Sandoval case, needing to do  _ something _ while he waited. But he couldn't, of course. He had no work to do, nothing to write. It was the most aggravating feeling he had ever experienced, the sheer agony of having nothing to keep his mind busy. All he could do was to wait for Washington to come into work.

But it was Lafayette who came into the office first. “Alex, Alex, come with me,  _ mon cher _ , I would like to speak to you alone for a moment,” they said quickly.

Alex glanced over at Aaron, who was looking up at Lafayette with mild, polite curiosity. “Who's this?” he asked.

“Aaron Burr, meet Lafayette. Lafayette, this is Aaron Burr.” Alex gave Lafayette a quizzical look. “What exactly do you need to talk to me about?”

“Alone,” they repeated emphatically, and practically dragged Alex by the hand out of the office and down the hallway to the break room, which smelled of stale donuts and old coffee.

“Okay, we're alone. What is it?”

Lafayette took a deep breath. “I am very worried about John,” they said in a rush. “I have called him three times this morning, and he has not answered once.”

Alex couldn't help the slight bitterness in his voice as he said, “What has that got to do with me?”

“Do not pretend not to care, Alex, it doesn't fit you,” Lafayette chided. “You and I know that you care about our John.”

“Yours,” Alex said. “He's made it pretty clear that he isn't mine at all.”

None too gently, they flicked Alex on the cheek. “Stop being such an idiot.”

Alex leaned away, affronted. “I'm sorry?”

“Do you truly think that John does not want to be with you anymore?” Lafayette asked.

“Seemed that way.”

“Then perhaps you did not get to know him as well as I had thought I observed, Alexander. John Laurens does not befriend just anyone. He is incredibly...how do you say it?  _ Difficile à satisfaire _ , he is picky about who he loves, and he does not let himself love people easily. He has been through much, Alex, and would not play with your emotions like he seems to have done without very good reason.” Lafayette sounded like they were really frustrated that Alex didn't see it.

“Well, you know him better than I do.” Alex started to walk back to the office, not wanting to continue this conversation but also never wanting it to end. Lafayette grabbed his arm. “I have to go and help Washington write his goodbye memo,” Alex protested, yanking his arm free.

“I have spoken to George, I am allowed to keep you as long as I need. Now, come and sit down with me, and we will get to the bottom of what is happening to our John.” They pulled Alex over to the soft chairs in the corner of the break room. Alex knew that they weren't going to be interrupted at any point in the morning, unless Burr decided to pop in for coffee (and he always brought his own anyway, in a non-brand name paper cup) because Washington was very lax about letting people work at home in the mornings. He understood very well that spending time with family is important, although his family all lived in Virginia. Maybe that was the reason, come to think of it. Washington didn't want to force his employees to be as absent from their personal lives as he had to be.

With less vehemence now, Alex continued arguing. “It really is none of my business what happened--”

“Actually,  _ mon ami _ , I am fairly sure that whatever it is, it is very much your business. I am going to call John again, and I have been texting him for several minutes saying that if he did not answer the phone, I would fly back to South Carolina this very day. I would be surprised if he did not answer, just to put my mind at ease. You are not here, Alex.” They pulled their phone out, which had a case with purple, white, and green stripes that Alex vaguely recognized as the nonbinary flag.

“What do you mean, I'm not here?” Alex asked, a bit confused.

Lafayette paused in scrolling through their contacts to glare at Alex. “I mean,  _ mon cher _ , that we are not letting John know that you are in the room with me, because he may not be as honest as he would otherwise be. Now, hush.”

“That's dishonest of  _ us _ ,” Alex said, mildly uncomfortable.

“And we may be unable to help him if  _ he _ is not entirely honest with us. Now,  _ hush _ ,” they reiterated.

Alex hushed as Laf tapped the screen to call John. They held the phone up to their ear, face tense as it rang once, twice, three times. Then, just as it seemed like they were going to hang up in frustration when…

“John Laurens, why have you not been answering all morning?” Lafayette demanded harshly.

Alex could almost hear John over the phone. He couldn't make out any words clearly, but Lafayette’s face fell from indignant to worried.

“John,  _ mon ami _ , slow down,” they said soothingly. “Please, I cannot understand you when you speak so quickly. And... _ Mon cher _ , why are you crying?”

Alex stared. John was crying?

“ _ Non _ , you can tell me,” they said quickly. “Please,  _ cher _ , I am worried about you. Shh, no...tell me what is going on, and maybe I can help.”

The next words that John said were shouted, loud enough that even Alex could hear them. “I  _ can't _ !”

“John!” Lafayette exclaimed. Then they lowered the phone slowly. “Alex, he just hung up on me.”

“What did he say?” Alex asked urgently.

“He says that he cannot tell me anything, that something is wrong but he cannot explain it now. He says, he's sorry. He said it many times. Alex, I have rarely heard him in this much distress, I am very worried.”

Alex was, too. “Call him again, make him tell you!”

“I do not think he will pick up.” Lafayette buried their face in their hands. “Alexander, I think I must return to Sandoval as soon as possible. I am afraid for our John.”

“That's a good idea. I...I wish I could come back with you,” Alex said.

“Me too,  _ mon cher _ .” But they didn't try to pretend that Alex could go back with them. Alex almost wished that they would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope it's true that writer's thrive off heartbreak. Thanks for reading! Stand up and stretch for a minute or so, and get a drink of water. Hug a pet for me if you've got one. Take care of yourself! I love you. <3 ~Clare


	14. Dear Mr. Laurens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did John tell Alex he couldn't come back to the island? Tune in for more! (ALSO: Trigger warnings apply to this chapter, strong warnings for self-harm and suicidal thoughts, stay safe and I love you, okay?)

John wiped away his tears roughly, angrily. They weren't sad tears, anyway, they were tears of fear and outrage. He looked from his phone, which had the ended call screen from hanging up on Lafayette, to his computer, which was open to an email he had woken up to that morning.

_ Dear Mr. Laurens, _

_ Take a look at the attached photograph and then come back and read the rest of this message. _

John had opened the attachment curiously, not understanding. His heart had nearly stopped when he saw the picture. It was the one Lafayette had taken on the ferry yesterday, of John and Alex kissing.

John reached into his pocket. The SD card was gone, as he had feared. Who the hell had gotten hold of it? How? And  _ why _ ?

He clicked back to the rest of the email, breathing quickly.

_ Now that you've seen it, I'm sure you'll be willing to comply. If you don't, the picture will be released to the public. You will lose all local support, of course, and possibly all funding for your little project. Besides which, I'm sure I could bring up your little affair with your lawyer to the jury, and they will find any evidence he presents to be immediately dismissable. _

_ I'm sure you know who I am by now. I would like to speak to you in person, John, to negotiate the terms of this little arrangement. You will find me at the source of our dispute. _

_ And a word of advice: don't carry around pieces of sensitive information on your person, especially not in places where you could drop it and it could be discovered on the floor of a diner. Anyone could have found it. Be thankful it was me. _

The message wasn't signed. It was from an email address that John could tell was only made for the purpose of sending an untraceable message. But the sender was right: John knew exactly what had happened. And he knew where he had to go, and what he had to do.

He just hoped that this didn't result in the destruction of the turtles, or his life.

John dropped Frances off at the diner, begging Eliza to look after her for the day. Eliza seemed to see that something was wrong, and agreed instantly. “Come on, dear, we can go help Angie cook and let your daddy work on whatever it is he needs to do, okay?”

His hands clenched in fists, John headed up towards America Beach. The sky was infuriatingly clear and bright, the sand-swept road clear of any other travelers. As he approached the gate to the beach, he saw the person he had known would be there, sitting on the other side of the gate on a large piece of driftwood, his long legs stretched casually out in front of him.

“Mr. Laurens,” Jefferson greeted amicably. “I trust you're well?”

John unlocked the gate with his own key and walked right up to the lawyer. “Cut the shit. What do you want?”

Jefferson shrugged. “What makes you think I want anything?”

“What makes you think I'll give you what you want?” countered John. “Maybe I don't give a damn if you show that picture to the whole world.”

“Ah, yes, but see...we both know that you do. Let's cut to the chase. I'm not going to ask you for anything unreasonable. I don't want money, or favors. I just want you to fire Alexander Hamilton and lose this case. After that, I can promise that your secret is safe with me.”

John glared at him, but he gazed back calmly. “I'm not losing the case,” he spat.

“One way or another, you will. But whether you also lose your reputation is your decision entirely.

“I don't care if everyone knows that I'm gay,” John stated, rather untruthfully. “But don't drag Alex into this.”

Jefferson raised one eyebrow. “I'm not interested in him. We're talking about  _ you _ , John.”

John had to force himself not to grab Jefferson’s collar and haul him to his feet to shout in his face. “Listen to me. I'll tell Alex not to come back to Sandoval if that's what you want. But I am not going to let you win this case. I'll release the picture and your email myself first, expose  _ you _ for the blackmailer that you are.”

“No, you won't,” Jefferson said confidently.

“Try me.” John stared down at him levelly, with such intensity that he could see Jefferson start to look uncomfortable.

“We'd both suffer that way,” Jefferson said. “This way, no one has to get hurt.”

“Nobody except an entire species, and this entire island. You underestimate what I will do to protect the things I love, Thomas.” John kept his voice from shaking with anger, but only just. “I would sacrifice myself in an instant to do the right thing. I'm not sure you can say the same thing, when all you care about is money.” He took a deep breath and continued, cutting Jefferson off from starting to say something. “I'm not finished yet. Now, you and Alex exchange insults like they're currency, like it's all you know, and that doesn't surprise me since you're both lawyers. But guess what? I didn't finish law school, Thomas. My style of fighting is very different than yours. I'm not sure you could handle it if I decided that you were worth fighting, but I am getting close to that point. Alex won't be coming back the the island. I already told him not to come back. I want him as far away from the backlash of this as he can be. I'm not sure you understood what you were starting here. Did you expect me to roll over and do whatever you want? Because that's not going to happen. So release the picture if you want. I'm not giving up,” John finished. He didn't allow the stunned Jefferson time to recover and respond, just turned and walked away, out through the gate and down the road. He was shaking, but he was almost proud of himself.

He thought about going back and getting Frances, but decided to let the Schuyler sisters have her for the day. Besides, he had already cried from stress twice today, and really didn't want Frances to see him break down again.

The idea of telling Alex and Lafayette what was going on crossed his mind a few times.  _ No, no, I can't let them know that I was this irresponsible. Besides, Laf will feel terrible because it was their picture. I don't need to drag them into this. But what  _ am  _ I going to do? _

Then it struck him. He would tell Hercules. He was rational, smart, usually calm. He would know what to say.

“Man, I have no idea,” Hercules said bluntly.

John, still shaking from his confrontation with Jefferson and then from recounting the whole story to Hercules, stared. “Really?”

“What? What am I supposed to say, dude? I don't have any experience with this kind of thing.” Hercules reached out and patted John’s arm consolingly.

John, who had been pacing across the floor of Herc’s fabric shop anxiously, dropped onto the stool behind the counter. He put his head down. “I don't know what to do. Please help me.”

“Just because I'm a bit more promiscuous than you does not mean that I've been blackmailed before. And it's not like I can be your lawyer. I could punch Jefferson if you wanted me to, but other than that…” He shrugged. “Listen, I love your turtles too. But I don't know what to tell you, man, other than I'm here if you think of anything I  _ can _ do.”

John was very angry at himself when, for the third time that day, he let out a quiet sob.

“Aw, shit.” Hercules walked over to him slightly awkwardly and put his hand on the back of John's neck. “John…”

“Doesn't matter.” John bit the inside of his cheek hard, almost to bleeding, trying to stop the tears. “I'm fine,” he insisted.

“Yeah, you're fucking fantastic, Laurens. Look, maybe I  _ will _ fight Jefferson. I could lay that lanky idiot on his ass in a matter of seconds and you know it. Can't be a very good lawyer if you can't talk through your crushed jawbone,” Hercules pointed out.

John almost giggled. “I bet you could,” he mumbled. “But this is my problem and I definitely don't want you to get in trouble for my sake.”

“My friend's honor is at stake!” Hercules proclaimed dramatically. “I am more than willing to fight someone over that!”

“You're such a…” John shook his head. “I don't even know. But thanks.”

“Just a suggestion, go wipe your eyes before you go back into public,” Herc said. “No offense, you look really awful.”

John snorted. “I do need to go soon. I...well, I have a lot of work to do.” He added in a softer, slightly pleading voice, “But can I stay...for a couple minutes?”

“Of course,” Hercules said instantly. “Take as much time as you need.”

“Thanks,” John mumbled. He put his head back down on the counter and sighed heavily. Hercules went about his work, continuing to organize some lengths of fabric on a new shelving unit. But he didn't ignore John, just kind of brushed against him whenever he walked by. Hercules had figured out by now that John wasn't always fond of physical affection when he was upset, which John was grateful for. He appreciated having someone else around, but someone who would just be there, not necessarily trying to touch him or talk to him. He had stopped crying, but the anxious thoughts still whizzed around his head relentlessly and he tried to clear his mind. “Hercules,” he said suddenly.

Herc paused in his wandering. “What's up?”

John wasn't sure  _ why _ , but he had to ask. “If anything happened to me, you'd take care of Frances, right?”

There was a moment of quiet, and Hercules walked back over to John. His big hand tilted up John’s chin so John had to look at him. “If something happened to you, John, half the people on this island would take care of Frances. We'd be fighting over who got custody.” Hercules studied John’s face. “Why? What do you think is going to happen?”

“Nothing. I don't know. I just had to know that she'd be safe.” John slipped out of his friend's grip and rested his forehead back down on the desk.

“Are you sure?” Herc asked solemnly. “John, do you know something I don't know? Because if you don't feel safe, if you think that something might happen to you that would leave us to take care of Frances for you, then I really  _ will _ fight someone, absolutely no joke. I bet I could figure out how to dispose of a body, no problem.”

“It's not  _ that _ . It's just...I don't know.”

Hercules sounded a bit more worried now. “John, what are you saying?”

John didn't answer. He didn't even know what he was saying. “Ignore me, I'm just being overdramatic,” he mumbled.

There was a soft thud as Hercules hopped up to sit on the counter, his hand resting lightly on the curly mess that was John’s hair. “Nuh-uh, dude, you don't just say stuff like that and then get away with saying ‘Ignore me’. Especially not when I've known you since…”

John jerked away from his friend's hand. “It's not like  _ that _ !” he protested. “I'm fine now. I thought we covered that.”

Herc’s face held a bit of disbelief. “Yeah? Cover it again, buddy, because I haven't seen you like this for ages.”

Unconsciously, John ran his fingers over his thigh, where he knew underneath his jeans laid a row of thin white scars. Hercules looked down, saw what John was doing, and sighed. John stopped immediately. “You're worrying too much,” he said quickly.

“I don't think that I am, actually.” His tone only thinly concealed his extreme concern. “John, you  _ know _ you can talk to me, right?”

“I am talking to you,” John tried to joke.

Hercules didn't find it very funny. “Good one,” he said sarcastically. “You'll  _ tell _ us if anything happens, though, right?”

“Of course,” John said airily.

Herc gave him a piercing look. “You  _ promise _ ?”

John fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession to make. I've...only written to about chapter twenty. So after chapter 18 is posted, there's gonna be a mini-hiatus, probably about a month or so, until I can find the inspiration to keep writing. I've been really trying not to let things being said about the Hamilton fandom go to my head, but it's really hard sometimes. Any words of encouragement would be lovely. As always, I adore you and I'm so incredibly glad you exist. The fact that you care about my stories gives me reason to keep writing. I love you. I love you. Sleep well. You're worth everything. <3 ~Clare


	15. Afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings again for self-harm and suicidal thoughts, all mentioned--stay safe, take care of yourself, and I love you lots and lots! Your health is the most important. <3

Alex was sitting cross-legged on the floor of his apartment, eyes fixed on his laptop. It was late. Very late. He had been writing for hours after he had gotten home from work, needing to distract himself. He couldn't fall asleep, as much as he tried. He just couldn't clear his head, couldn't stop thinking. He had to keep writing and working and not thinking.

Suddenly, there was a knock at his front door. Alex jumped, almost dropping his laptop. Who the hell was knocking at his door at...Alex glanced at the clock. At one thirty in the morning?

Confused, Alex went out and opened the door. “Laf?”

Lafayette was disheveled and looked almost frantic. “George told me where you live, Alex, I need to go back to South Carolina tomorrow, tomorrow, and please, you need to come with me, we are so worried about John, something is very very wrong!  _ Merde _ , but I cannot breathe, I ran up your steps…” they panted.

“Okay, okay, shhh,” Alex said. “Come inside for a minute, tell me what's wrong.” He ushered them inside. They collapsed onto Alex’s cheap old couch, breathing hard. Alex sat next to them. “Catch your breath, then talk.” It felt strange to be the one trying to calm Lafayette down for a change.

They took a deep breath. “Alex, I just was called by Hercules. He is incredibly worried about our John. I...I must explain, a long time ago, our John was not very...very healthy, in his mind.”

Alex nodded slowly.

Lafayette rubbed their temple. “He used to...I'm not sure if I should be saying this, but you should know. You should know, and if he does not tell you...He has not told you, and we are worried, and we think you could help him.”

“Lafayette, please just tell me what you are trying to tell me and stop rambling,” Alex said.

“He used to hurt himself,” Laf blurted. “And tried to do more. And Hercules observed some of the...the symptoms, the signs, in him today. And there's more, Alex…” They groaned loudly. “Alex, it is all gone to  _ merde _ . Alex...Alex, our John is being blackmailed.”

Alex blinked. He barely registered their words. “...What?”

Lafayette grabbed his hand. “That is why he told you not to come back, Alex, he was afraid for you.”

“B-blackmailed?” Alex stumbled. “How? By whom?”

“ _ Oui _ , blackmailed. With…” Suddenly, they let out a sob and buried their face in their hands.

“Laf!” Alex exclaimed. “Whoa. Talk to me.”

In between sobs and in broken half-English and half-French, Lafayette explained that Jefferson had gotten hold of the picture that they had taken on the ferry.

“How the fuck did that happen?” Alex demanded. “It was on the fucking SD card, how--”

“He dropped it somewhere, Hercules didn't know the details,” Lafayette hiccupped. “But apparently John has left Frances with the Schuyler sisters, and Hercules is  _ effrayé _ , very, very  _ effrayé _ for him. Alex, John is open to us, to his friends, but he is not to everyone, not to most people, and his greatest fear is of people discovering who he truly is, because of where we live, and he is not as...how do you say? Oh, I do not know the word, but he is not like me, you know, as...he cares more about how people think of him.” They wiped their eyes, then burst into tears again. “It was my fault, Alex,  _ ma faute _ , I took the picture,  _ ma faute _ .”

_ I am going to rip Jefferson limb from limb. _ “It's not your fault, Laf, it's not your fault. Shh, it's not your fault.” Alex patted their shoulder. “The only person at fault is Jefferson. And believe me, we are going to deal with him.” Alex gritted his teeth. “I've been wanting to deal with him for a long time. This is the last fucking straw.”

“ _ Merci, mon cher _ ,” they murmured gratefully. “But I am afraid that if something happens, I will be to blame.”

“Nothing is going to happen, and you are not to blame.” Alex squeezed their hand tightly. “We go back tomorrow morning.”

They nodded. “I will pay for your ticket,  _ mon cher _ . I am no short of money.”

“Thank you,” Alex said, slightly embarrassed. Was it that obvious that he was a bit broke? He glanced around at his apartment. Okay, it was that obvious. “Laf, it's really late. You should stay here.”

“Thank you,  _ mon cher _ .” They gave Alex a watery smile. “But I do not have any night clothes?”

“I'll bring you something to wear. Laf...this isn't a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. This is New York City. And it's nighttime. And you…” Alex bit his lip. “It's just not safe for you at this time of night, that's all.”

“Oh,” they said softly. “Well,  _ merci _ . It is sweet of you to be so thoughtful of my safety. I accept your offer.”

“I'll find you something to wear,” Alex mumbled. He stood up and went to his room. He realized that Laf probably wouldn't fit in any of his clothing. They were much taller than he was. “Damn.” Alex pulled out his largest t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that were too big. When Lafayette put them on, the pants fell only halfway down their shins, but they laughed it off and curled up on Alex’s couch.

“I am sorry,” they said quietly.

“What for?”

They shook their head. “You are being so calm, I do not understand. I just don't understand how you do not become panicked. I was expecting that, but you are the one calming me. You should not have to do that. It is your secret at stake, too.”

Alex sat down next to them again. “We won't let anything happen to John. Hercules is watching him now, yes?”

“ _ Oui _ .”

“And we will be there tomorrow. He will be fine. We will all be fine.”

“I am frightened,” they admitted.

Alex put his hand on the top of their head, burying his fingers in their long hair. “Yeah, me too,” he sighed. “Me too. I guess I just don't show it in these kind of situations.” He laughed humorlessly. “I save it all for storms.”

Lafayette reached for Alex’s other hand, clinging to it tightly. They sighed quietly and closed their eyes. Alex ran his fingers through their hair, untangling it a little. Alex almost smiled at the expression of content that spread across their face. He decided to stay there for a while. He was tired, but he knew now that he would be able to sleep when he wanted to. He understood now. It wasn't something that he had done. He hated to admit it, but the fact that John had told him to stay away to protect him gave him a sense of...pride?

Not that he was happy that John was being blackmailed, but at least now that Alex understood, he could help. Together, they would get rid of Jefferson and save the turtles and continue along the road they had been heading together.

“You are such a wonderful friend to us,” Laf whispered all of a sudden. “You have attached yourself to us, haven't you? You won't let us go.”

“Never,” Alex said, surprised.

“Good.” Laf squeezed his hand tightly and then let go, probably meaning that Alex should go off to bed now.

Suddenly, a wave of affection for the kind photographer washed over Alex. “Can I stay here?”

Lafayette squinted up at him. “It is your apartment,  _ mon ami _ ,” they said.

“Yeah, but, like...are you okay with that?”

“The couch is a bit small for two,” they pointed out, amused.

Alex sighed. “Then come to my bed? Not like that,” he added hastily, as Laf snorted. “Idiot. I just don't wanna be alone.”

They gave him a sympathetic look as they sat up, yawning. “By all means,  _ mon cher _ , lead the way.”

Alex couldn't remember the last time he had slept cuddled up with a friend. Of course, he didn't really have friends, and certainly not friends he would do this with. Not until now, that is. Lafayette fell asleep with their back against Alex’s, but eventually rolled so they were draped partially over Alex’s chest. He didn't mind, and fell asleep soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I said I was gonna put this up yesterday, didn't I...Oh, well. Here you go! It's a pretty short chapter, but it's necessary. Thank you so much for reading, I love you, drink some water, stand up and stretch for a minute! Leave a comment if you're able and inclined, I absolutely love reading them. Hey, guess what? I believe in you. You can do anything. You can do everything.  <3 ~Clare


	16. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely more trigger warnings for self-harm and suicidal ideations for this chapter, even more so than anything else. Contains some internalized homophobia--Please, please stay safe! I really don't want anyone getting hurt because of my writing. I love you all so much, and you're worth the world and more. <3 ~Clare

John had managed to shake Hercules off for long enough to slip away by himself. He appreciated that Herc was trying to help, he really did. But his help wasn't always helpful, and John just wanted to be alone to think.

Leaving Frances with the Schuyler sisters again, he disappeared to the little spot on one of the smaller, lesser visited beaches on Sandoval that was hidden partially behind some sheer cliffs, worn smooth by the sea. Nobody knew about this spot, really. Laf had been here once, when they had been particularly upset after being harassed by a couple of jerks when they had gone to the mainland on an errand. They had come back to Sandoval bitter and insecure, and John had taken them to this little cove to take their mind off things. But they weren't here, so nobody would be able to find him.

John felt empty. He couldn't bring himself to think about the future, so he was stuck in the past. 

Staring out at the waves from his perch on an outcropping on the cliff, he watched as the tide crept up higher. He knew from experience that it wouldn't reach where he was sitting, but it would get pretty close. The water might just touch the bottom of his bare feet, but that would be it.

He had sat in this very spot many times over the past several years, though less so after Frances had been born, except in the first weeks after Martha had died. His fingers kept drifting back to his thighs, tracing lightly over them as if he could feel the slightly raised ridges underneath his jeans. Phantom pains danced across his wrists, and the need to make them a reality rose up in him. He had a jolt of terror. He hadn't felt that in a long time. He had thought the urges had gone away for good after all this time. He had promised himself that he would never do that again. Not when he had Frances to look after. He clenched his fists, tried to chase the thoughts away.

But they wouldn't leave.

After all, Hercules had said that everyone would take care of Frances if something happened to him. Maybe this  _ had _ been what he was thinking of, subconsciously, when he had asked that question. Maybe he had already known that this was going to happen again.

If he was gone, it wouldn't matter if the picture was released. At least for him. Alex might hate his memory, but that was alright. Alex could deal with whatever repercussions might come for him. He was a much stronger person than John was. And Frances would be fine eventually…

_ No! _ He shook his head sharply. What was he even  _ thinking _ ? He wasn't going to do that anymore. He wasn't.

... _ Except _ , the terrible little voice at the back of his mind whispered,  _ surely with you gone, there might be a chance that the public would cause an outcry, especially if it was revealed that the blackmail was happening. People are much more likely to be sympathetic to a cause if there's a martyr. The turtles might have a chance. _

“That's ridiculous,” he argued with himself, out loud. “No. No. They'll have a better chance with me fighting for them.”

Still, he couldn't shake the thought. He knew this spiral, knew it all too well. It would just keep getting worse. He knew what would happen. The problems he was facing would continue to seem insurmountable, and he would push everyone away, brush off their concerns and then continue to break down when out of their sight.

_ I have Frances _ , he told himself firmly.  _ I am not leaving Frances. _

_ But maybe she would be better off without you _ , the persistent voice in his head returned.  _ What kid wants to grow up with a gay father and no mother because it was her father's fault that she had died? _

John dug his fingernails into the back of his wrist. He wished the voice would just  _ stop _ . The jab of pain made it be quiet for a minute but he could tell that it was going to come back. He pressed his nails into his skin harder, harder. He gasped slightly as he broke the skin, looked down in horror at the droplets of blood against his skin.

He wasn't going to  _ do _ that anymore. He had promised himself! He was a father, for God's sake, he couldn't keep doing this.

“Fuck.” He slowly released his wrist from his too-tight grip. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. He rubbed the drops of blood away, smearing the red spots across the back of his hand. He hated himself for getting into this situation.

He had promised Hercules that he'd tell him if something happened. But this didn't count, did it? He didn't have a blade or anything. He was fine. He was fine.

John closed his eyes, still pressing his thumb onto the new cuts. He wanted to stay there forever. Maybe he could just disappear from everything, just let the world go on without him. The sun would keep on rising and setting just the same.

Without realizing it, John was curling up in a tight ball on the ledge. In about thirty minutes, the water level would be high enough that he would be trapped for several hours. Nobody would be able to get to him, and he could stay cut off from the rest of the world just for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several things! One, I know this chapter is short, I'm really sorry. I was going to make it longer but to be honest it was making me too upset to try and write John in this mindset. Two, I just watched the second presidential debate, and tbh I feel like with all this going on in our country now, we need more gay fanfiction about the founding fathers. It's just a fact. And that leads me to three, which is...Hi, yes, I've been writing again! No promises that I'm going to keep with this inspiration, but I am definitely writing more of the second part of this series. So there will still be a slight hiatus probably, but hopefully it won't be more than two weeks. I hope that makes someone happy! Thank you so much for reading, I love you very much! Please leave a comment if you're able and inclined, I love hearing from all of you! Also, check out my tumblr, linked below. I've been neglecting it a bit lately, but I would definitely write more there if I got more prompts...
> 
> Stay safe in this really difficult time, please! I know it sucks, and it seems like nothing is going right, but I think that everything is going to be looking up soon. Good things are happening, I promise. We can get through this, together. Take a deep breath. It's going to be okay. I believe in you. <3 ~Clare


	17. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired of writing summaries lmao Alex returns to Sandoval and everything is Not Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW again for self-harm/suicidal thoughts. Stay safe, I love you!

“I can't find him,” Hercules groaned. Alex’s heart skipped a beat. He and Lafayette had arrived in Sandoval at just past one, having gotten a plane at six in the morning. They had gone immediately to  _ The Revolution _ , where Hercules had asked them to meet him.

“He has disappeared?” Laf demanded. “When did you see him last?”

Hercules was wringing his hands. “I told him last night I'd come by tomorrow, he said don't bother, but of course I came anyway, and nobody is here, he left Frances with the Schuyler sisters again, Eliza and and Angie are out looking for him, they told me to wait here for you two and then we'd go, too.”

“Then let's  _ go _ ,” Alex said. “Do you have  _ any _ idea where he might be?”

“I don't know, man,” Herc lamented. “I don't know where he slips off to to be alone.”

Lafayette was frowning like they were thinking hard. “I think I  _ might  _ know a place,” they said tentatively. “On Little Cove Beach side, is it high tide or low tide?”

“High?” Herc offered. “Pretty sure. ‘Cause it's low here.”

“Oh,  _ merde _ ,” they muttered. “Somebody had better be prepared to swim. Well, I will show you the way.”

Laf brought them across the island to a spot near Little Cove Beach. Alex looked at the cliff edge, confused. “Where…”

“Look,” Lafayette said. They pointed to a tiny, narrow path winding down the cliff edge. It disappeared into the water.

“I don't understand,” Hercules said blankly. “How would John be anywhere here?”

“Um…” They went right up to the edge of the cliff, looking left and right. Then, they froze and let out a cry.

Alex rushed to their side. Right at the surface of the water, there was a small outcropping. It looked like there was no way to get there while the tide was high, but there was John, curled up with his head tucked under his arms. His heart fell. “John!”

“John,  _ mon cher ami _ , please answer us!” Lafayette cried.

Either John was ignoring them, their voices were lost in the wind and waves, or something worse. Hercules’ face said that he feared the worst as he peered over the edge. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “John!” His voice reverberated down the cliff, echoing off the rocks.

Slowly, John raised his head. Alex couldn't remember ever feeling quite so relieved in his entire life, but the feeling quickly faded at the emotionless look of John’s features. He didn't even react at the sight of Alex, just stared blankly and put his head back down.

“ _ Merde _ ,” Lafayette said again. “Someone must--Alex? Alex, what are you doing?”

Alex was starting to climb over the edge. He wasn't going to leave John there alone. He would follow the little trail down as close as it got to the ledge and climb across the rest of the way, since the end of the path was underwater. “Helping him,” he said.

“Alex, come back from there, it is not safe!  _ Mon Deuix _ , Alex!” they called.

But Alex didn't listen. He was strong and agile. He would be fine. Although the sound of the waves crashing beneath him was making his breath quicken, his throat constrict, he still kept sliding along the tiny ledge down the sheer edge.

“Alex, get back here!” Hercules shouted. He was leaning out over the edge, gesturing for Alex to climb back up.

“I'm almost there.” And he was. He just had to find somewhere to put his foot to take the step over. The ocean spray was soaking his shoes and the hem of his pants and making the rock slippery. There was enough room on the ledge that John was curled up on that Alex would be able to sit down if he could just find one step between where the trail disappeared into the ocean and the edge of the outcrop.

“Alex!”

“I'm fine!” he shouted up. “John, I'm almost to you, okay?”

John didn't look up.

Alex searched the wet rock next to him for anywhere to put his foot. There was a small crevice that he could see. He thought he could reach it, and stretched his leg out. He wedged his toe into the crack, putting his weight on it experimentally. It seemed like it would hold. As he started to propel himself across to the ledge in an almighty leap, several things happened at the exact same time. 

His foot slipped from the crevice and he began plummeting to the rocks and crashing waves below. An instant panic response set in, and Alex cried out. His cries were echoed by Hercules and Lafayette, who could see him start to fall. And then his hand was being grabbed and he was being hauled up onto the ledge, gasping and half-drenched.

“Alex?” John said.

Alex stared. John had sat up and grabbed him, saving him from falling. His eyes were still rather emotionless, but he looked a little bewildered. “Th-thanks,” Alex stuttered.

“What the hell are you doing back here?” John shouted. Alex flinched.

“We were all worried about you!” he said. “What are  _ you _ doing down here?”

“What the fuck do you think I was doing?” spat John. The empty look in his eyes was being replaced with blazing fury. “I was  _ avoiding _ all of you. Except I didn't think I  _ had _ to avoid  _ you _ , because I thought you were going to stay in New York!”

“Excuse me for wanting to help!” Alex shot back.

“I told you not to come back!”

“Hercules was worried!”

“I don't give a shit!”

“Well, I do!” Alex shouted.

“ _ Why?! _ ”

Alex glared. “Because we care about you, you fucking idiot!”

John blinked. “I know.”

“Then  _ why _ ?”

John drooped, falling back against the cliff face. “I don't know,” he whispered. “Because you shouldn't.”

“Shouldn't what?”

He mumbled something indistinctly.

“Huh?”

“Care,” John said a little louder. “You shouldn't care.”

“Fuck,” Alex uttered. He reached out and grabbed John’s hand. To his astonishment, John was starting to cry. “Alright, okay,” Alex said softly. He tugged John’s hand closer and happened to look down at his wrist. Four small, deep cuts sat in a row on John’s skin, like someone had dug their nails into him. “What's this?” Alex asked gently, running his fingers over the cuts lightly.

That made him sob a little and pull his hand away. Alex looked up at Lafayette and Hercules helplessly.

“We need to get him back up,” Alex called to them. 

“No,” John protested.

Hercules shouted down, “And how do you propose we do that?”

John wrapped his arms around his knees and hid his face. “I'm staying here.”

“ _ So _ not an option,” Alex told him.

“Please?” John begged.

Lafayette’s groan was audible even over the waves. “John,  _ mon ami _ , please just let us take care of you. Please,” they said.

John stopped fighting. “Okay,” he said weakly.

“Thank you,” Herc said. “But the problem of getting back up is still there.”

Alex rubbed John's shoulder lightly. “Do you have any ideas?”

John shook his head.

“Okay. We can swim to the path?”

John shook his head again. “I'm too tired,” he whispered.

“It's not very far, and I'm sure it's not very deep. I'll help you.”

“It is deep, the sea level, um, it rises about seven feet in this little cove,” John explained.

“I'll help you,” Alex repeated. “Can you let me do that, John?”

“Okay,” John said softly.

“Okay, I'm gonna need you to give me your hand. Come over here, okay…”

It was a bit of a struggle, but they managed to get up onto the path. Now soaking wet, they climbed back up. Alex made John go in front of him, knowing that if John slipped or let go, he could catch him. As soon as John approached the top, Hercules took him by the arms and hauled him up over the edge.

“Hey, man. You scared us,” Hercules said quietly to John as Lafayette helped Alex back up.

John shook his head and slipped down out of Herc’s grip to collapse onto the ground. Hercules sighed and kneeled down next to him silently. 

“We have told Eliza and Angelica that we found him,” Lafayette informed Alex.

“John,” Hercules said. “John, we're gonna take you back to  _ The Revolution _ , alright? And then I think we need to figure things out.” 

“I...I don't know.”

“That's fine,” Hercules assured him. “You don't have to. We'll figure it out together. Can you stand up?”

“I don't know.”

“Alright, then I'm gonna decide for you and say you probably can't. Can I pick you up?”

“I guess.”

Hercules scooped John up easily and cradled him close, whispering something that Alex couldn't quite hear, but whatever it was made John  _ almost _ crack a smile. Alex hadn't got to know Hercules as well as the other two of the Revolutionary Set, but in that moment he felt eternally grateful to him.

Shivering as the cool early-afternoon air chilled his soaking clothes, Alex walked beside Lafayette behind Hercules. Lafayette took Alex by the hand. “That was stupid, Alexander,” they said softly. “You could have gotten hurt.”

Alex shrugged. “It was for John,” he said simply.

Lafayette blinked slowly. “Thank you for loving him as much as we do,” they told him. “I think our John will need as much love as we can give him right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can y'all share some happy stories/things you've succeeded in over the past couple weeks? It can be anything, I just need cheering up. Go drink some water, stay hydrated! Hug a pet, and if you don't have a pet, someone else will hug one for you just hug a soft blanket instead. I wish clear skin and good grades and happiness on every single one of you, because you are amazing and you deserve everything you ever wanted. I love you! <3 ~Clare


	18. The Eye of the Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John tells his story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning again! discussion of self-harm, suicide, and deaths of loved ones. stay safe! <33333

On the way back to  _ The Revolution _ , Eliza and Angelica came rushing down the path towards them. With John in his arms still, Hercules tilted his head, directing the sisters towards Alex and Laf, telling them to talk to those two and let him go on ahead.

“Is he alright?” Eliza asked.

Alex shook his head. “No. But he will be. Peggy is looking after Frances?”

Angelica nodded. “Yeah, they're off playing somewhere. Peggy wanted to help search, but Fran needed someone. She's scared, even though she doesn't understand what's happening or why her dad is acting like this.”

Lafayette suggested, “Perhaps we should tell her that her father is ill, but that he will be alright soon?”

“It might help John to have her with him,” Alex said.

“Let's wait and see what John wants,” Eliza offered sensibly.

“Good idea,  _ ma cherie _ ,” Laf said. “Let us first return to the ship.”

Back at  _ The Revolution _ , Alex followed Laf down a hallway he hadn't been down very often, into a small but comfortable living room. There, Hercules had deposited John onto a couch and was sitting silently in a chair a few feet away.

Following his lead, Alex, Lafayette, Eliza, and Angelica sat around the room without saying a word. The Schuyler sisters sat on the smaller couch that John wasn't lying on with his back to the rest of the room and his face pressed into the back cushions. Lafayette sat in another chair, closer than Hercules but not by much. Alex settled cross-legged on the floor near John's head. Nobody spoke for a few minutes.

Eventually, Lafayette was the one to break the silence. “John, will you talk to any of us? It's me, Hercules, Alexander, Angelica, and Eliza in the room with you.”

“What do you want me to say?” John asked, muffled by the pillows.

Everyone exchanged relieved glances. At least he was talking.

“Everyone here is aware of the situation,” Hercules said. “Everyone just wants to help. We're not asking you to try and make any decisions, we know that's not something that you can do right now. Just tell us what you want the outcome of this all to be, and we can figure it out from there.”

“I just want it all to stop,” John whispered.

Alex felt a pang in his chest. He half rose to his feet to go to John but Hercules shook his head warningly. Alex sat back down quickly.

“Do you want us to leave for a little while? We're not going to leave you alone forever, but we can let you stay by yourself and think for a little while,” Hercules said.

John hesitated. “Ev...everyone but you...can they leave? For a little while. S-sorry.”

“Of course.” Hercules shot a look to everyone else, but they were already filing out of the room quietly. “Wait for a second, Laf. John, can I come a little closer?”

Alex hung by the door for a minute as Hercules moved a little closer to John and put just one hand on his shoulder. He sent Lafayette for dry clothes for John, and they closed the door behind them on their way to go get it. Alex was left in the hallway with Eliza and Angie. “I'm gonna go change,” Alex said. His clothes had halfway dried during the walk back, but they were uncomfortably damp and he was still shivering. When he returned, Laf, Eliza, and Angie were sitting close together in the hallway, waiting patiently. He dropped down next to them.

“Hercules has always been wonderful with him,” Lafayette said quietly. “They have known each other the longest of any of us. They were friends in high school.”

Alex nodded. “What do you think we're gonna do about Jefferson?” he asked.

“Kill him?” Angelica suggested.

“Angie, that's not a good idea,” Eliza reproached. Then, she got a dangerous look in her eyes, one that made Alex shiver. “Killing him is too easy for him. We're going to destroy him.”

“And how would you suggest we do that?” Alex asked.

Eliza shrugged. “I hadn't gotten that far yet,” she admitted.

The door to the living room opened. “John wants to talk to everyone now,” Hercules said.

John was sitting up on the couch now. His eyes were a little bit brighter than they had been, and he watched everyone come back into the room apprehensively. After everyone had sat down again, John cleared his throat and said, “Thank you. All of you. I'm really sorry about all that--”

“Remember, you have nothing to apologize for,” Hercules murmured.

John looked at him gratefully. “Right. Anyway, thank you. I, uh...I'm still not exactly sure what you want me to say, though.”

“You don't have to say anything if you do not want to,  _ mon cher _ ,” Lafayette said. “We can all just figure out what to do about the external problem if you wish.”

“Okay,” John said. He rubbed his palm against his cheek self-consciously. “Thanks.”

Alex, sitting on the floor again, tapped his fingers against the side of the couch thoughtfully. He had an idea, but he wasn't sure if John would be alright with it. He wasn't even sure that it was a good idea. But he said it anyway. “What if  _ we _ release the picture? And Jefferson’s threats?”

John flinched.

“Alex, I don't know if…” Eliza started.

But Angelica was nodding slowly. “You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. That way, we have control over the situation, Jefferson doesn't have anything against you, and we might even be able to get him in trouble for blackmail.”

“But…” John was hugging himself a little, looking very nervous. “They'll still all hate me. Public support for LPST is so important, I don't think I'd be able to go on with it if I lost that.”

“I think you might be surprised, actually,” Hercules said. “Sure, there'll be idiots who get pissed about it, but I don't think you'll lose the public completely.”

“How do you know?” John asked.

“I just have a feeling,” Hercules said evasively.

“But if you don't want to do that, I  _ will _ kill Jefferson for you,” Angelica added.

“Thanks,” John said. “But I'd...I'd prefer it if you didn't kill anyone, Ange.”

“So, what do you think?” Alex prompted.

John hesitated. “I don't...know. Do…” He swallowed. “You'll all stay with me no matter what happens, right?” He sounded so unsure.

“Of course,  _ mon ami _ ,” Lafayette interjected. “I am surprised you had to ask!”

“We're with you,” Eliza told him.

“No matter what,” Angelica said.

“We'll make sure everything turns out okay, John,” Hercules said. “We promise.”

“Absolutely,” Alex finished.

“I think...I think I might have reacted badly to this whole thing,” John said, a bit ashamed. “I was just...I don't know.”

“You were scared,” Lafayette finished for him. “It is completely understandable,  _ mon cher _ . It is alright.”

“Where's Frances?” John asked.

Angelica answered, “Peggy’s got her. You want me to tell her to bring the kid back here?”

“She alright?”

“She's worried about you. She doesn't understand what's happening,” Eliza said reproachfully.

John his his face in his hands. “I know,” he groaned. “I'm sorry. Um, yeah. Can you ask Peggy to come?”

Eliza took out her phone and sent a quick text. “Done.”

“Thanks. Guys, I'm gonna...I'm gonna walk away for a minute, okay?” Without waiting for a response, John stood up shakily and walked out towards the door. He brushed his hand against Alex’s shoulder as he went, tugging his sleeve slightly. Alex hoped that meant ‘follow me’ because he stood up and followed John out of the room.

“Um, Alex,” Hercules started.

“It's okay,” John assured him. He reached back and took Alex’s hand, pulling him out into the hallway.

“Do...do you want to talk to me?” Alex asked nervously.

“Yeah. Come with me, okay?” John led him down the hall and into a bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the quilt next to him. Alex sat down.

“What's up?”

John took a deep breath. “I'm not angry about you coming back, in case you were worried.”

“I was,” Alex admitted. That was good to hear, although he could sense a ‘but’ was to follow.

“But...I wasn't sure I was ready to tell you about all this, and the fact that Herc and Laf told you, even under the circumstances, well, I just…” John pinched the bridge of his nose, running his fingers across the spatter of freckles. “I need to make sure that we're still...I don't know. This doesn't change anything, right?”

Alex gaped. “What...what would make you think this changes anything?” he asked. “I'm not, like,  _ judging _ you or anything, and I still really like you. I'm sorry that they told me, though, if you didn't want them to.”

“No, it's okay. How...how much did they tell you?”

“That you, um, that you've hurt yourself before. And that Hercules hadn't seen you act like this in ages,” Alex recalled.

John exhaled slowly. “So they didn't tell you everything. Okay.”

“You don't have to tell me, either,” Alex hastened to say. “Whatever you feel comfortable with.”

“I'll tell you. When they told you that I hurt myself, that's true.” John was absently trailing his fingers across his leg. “I've also tried to kill myself three times.” His voice shook a little. Alex wordlessly reached for his hand. “Thanks. First time was in high school. Usual reasons. I hated myself, my dad, being gay. Hercules found me with, um, with a gun. Convinced me to stick around. We hadn't even really known each other before then, but we were friends from then on out. He got me through the next two years. Then I went to England and my brother died, and I tried again. And then…” His voice broke again.

“It's okay,” Alex said softly. He squeezed John’s hand.

“If we're going to pursue this relationship, you ought to know the worst about me,” John said. “When I was in England, I had a friend named Martha. Martha Manning. Um, except she liked me. Not as a friend. At that point I was still closeted to everyone except Herc. So I...I got into a relationship with her. I liked her a lot, you know, I didn't want to hurt her. But eventually, it got to the point that I didn't think I could go any further with her, so I, uh, I told her. She didn't take it very well. Well, she did, but not really, because she thought she could, I don't know,  _ fix _ me.”

Alex hissed softly. “Shit.”

“So she, um, she asked if she could take me to bed and I said yes because, you know, I kind of believed her. And I was a bit better than I had been in high school, but I still was pretty bad about the whole accepting myself thing.” John laughed bitterly. “Well, it didn't fix me but she got pregnant. And she got really scared. She thought her family would kick her out. She was only nineteen. I was, too. I married her, just to preserve her honor or however you want to say that.”

Alex thought he knew where this story was going. Lafayette had already mentioned that Frances’ mother's name was Martha Manning, and that she had passed away, though they hadn't said how. Alex had a guess, however, and said nothing as John continued.

“And then a while later, Frances was born. But it wasn't a healthy birth. Martha got sick.  _ Really _ sick. She lived until Frances was a few months old, but in that time, I had to go home for my brother's memorial. It had been a year since he died. She...Martha died while I was back in South Carolina. And Frances almost…” John broke off, no longer able to hold back a quiet sob. “Shit. Sorry.”

Alex scooted a little closer, putting his arm around John’s waist. “Take as much time as you need,” he murmured.

John leaned into him gratefully. “Frances wasn't very healthy, either. She almost didn't make it. I was so  _ angry _ at myself. It was my fault that Martha had died, and if Frances had died, too, I don't know what I would have done. As it was, I basically decided Frances would be better off without me and I tried to...shit.” His voice broke again.

Alex pulled him closer. “It's okay,” he said. “You're okay.”

John leaned his head onto Alex’s shoulder. “I tried to drown myself in the Combahee River,” he mumbled. “I almost did it. Lafayette and Hercules showed up. They had followed me. They stopped me, and they convinced me to send for Frances and we all moved to Sandoval and got  _ The Revolution _ and I started LPST. I thought I was okay now, I thought...but then yesterday, and I got so scared, Alex, I was ready to give up again.”

“I'm glad you didn't.”

“I'm not sure if I am or not yet,” John admitted.

“I can be glad enough for both of us until you are sure, okay?” Alex offered.

John tightened his grip on Alex’s hand. “Thank you,” he said.

“You're welcome.” Alex kissed the top of John’s head. “Let me know if I can help you in any way, okay? I mean, you’ve been more than helpful to me whenever I needed it.”

“Okay,” John said.

There was a knock at the door. “John, Alex, Peggy and Frances just got here,” Hercules called.

John jumped up and practically ran to the door. In the hallway, Peggy stood behind Hercules with Frances in her arms. John snatched the little girl up and held her tightly. “Hi, baby,” he said.

“Daddy, you’re squishing me,” she protested.

He didn’t loosen his grip. His hand rested on the back of her head, fingers buried in the curly mess of short, dark hair. “Frances, I love you. You know I love you, right?”

She buried her face in his shoulder. “I know, Daddy. I love you, too.” She raised her head and frowned, her young, wise gaze sweeping John’s face. “Daddy, I’m scared. Are you okay?”

John appeared to be holding back tears. “Yeah, darlin’. I’m okay. But...I’m not feeling too great right now.”

“Are you sick?” she asked, eyes widening.

John hesitated. “Kind of, but don’t worry, you can’t catch it.”

Thoughtfully, she reached up and put her little hand on John’s forehead. “You don't have a fever,” she said matter-of-factly. Alex smiled. She sounded like she was mimicking her father, acting like he did when  _ she _ was sick.

“Thanks, baby,” John said, looking a little surprised.

She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “You gotta rest so you can get better,” she told him.

“That's a great idea,” he responded. He glanced back at Alex, who was leaning against the doorframe, smiling. “Hey, Frances, guess what movie Alex has never seen?”

“What movie?” she asked curiously.

In an exaggerated whisper, John said, “Finding Nemo.”

She gasped. “Really?” she asked Alex. He nodded, and her look of shock turned to pity. “Daddy, you can take a nap while we show it to him,” she said.

“That's exactly what I was thinking,” John said. “We can all watch together, okay?”

She nodded eagerly, and John started back towards the living room. Alex, Hercules, and Peggy followed him. John and Frances sat down in the corner of the couch, and Alex sat next to them.

“What's going on?” Angelica asked.

“We're watching Finding Nemo, apparently,” Peggy informed her, flopping down onto the other couch with her and Eliza.

Frances nodded happily. “Daddy doesn't feel good, and Alex hasn't ever seen it,” she informed everybody.

“Really?” Laf asked incredulously. “Well,  _ mon ami _ , we must change that immediately.” They sprang up from their chair and opened a drawer in the stand that the television was sitting on. Taking a DVD case out, they popped the disc into the player placed next to the base of the TV.

Hercules pushed the chairs that he and Laf had been sitting in before to the side of the room and sat down on the couch beside Alex. Laf came and joined them in a minute after turning the lights in the room off and the TV on. They wedged themself between Alex and Hercules, to Hercules’ grunt of displeasure.

“You're squishing me, you big French lump,” the tailor muttered.

Lafayette elbowed him good-naturedly. “Then move over.”

“Shhh,” hissed Frances. “The movie is starting.”

Alex kind of leaned onto John’s shoulder and sighed softly as a pretty, animated ocean appeared on the screen. As the first few minutes of the movie unfolded, Alex had already grown fond of these clownfish parents. He found himself very, very startled when the barracuda killed Coral. “I thought kids movies are supposed to be happy!” Alex exclaimed.

“Oh, man,” Hercules told him sympathetically. “You've got a big surprise coming.”

John was holding Frances tightly. “Happy, not usually,” he said. “But amazing. Now watch the movie.”

Alex couldn't help but wonder if John and Frances liked this movie so much because of how it mirrored their own life. Only it already seemed like John was a more competent parent than Marlin was, Alex reflected. Alex was surprised by how much he already loved the personable characters. John seemed to be dozing off, but he was awake enough to imitate the turtles’ manner of speaking for Frances, who giggled uncontrollably for several minutes afterwards.

After the movie was over, the credits rolled and nobody got up to turn it off. Everyone was too comfortable to stand up, so the screen just went black, the music stopped, and there was quiet, for just a moment. Alex thought back to everything that had happened over the past couple weeks, and then forward to the turmoil and troubles that undoubtedly still faced them. This was just the moment of calm in the midst of a storm. This was the eye of the hurricane, and somehow he was going to have to last through the other side. Somehow, he was going to have to find his way out, to stay afloat.

He glanced over at John, who had fallen asleep. Frances had, too, curled up in her father’s lap and clinging to his hand with both of hers. The Schuyler sisters had stopped watching the movie awhile ago, instead deciding to focus on braiding Peggy’s hair into complicated knots and twists which baffled Alex. And Lafayette had, also fallen asleep and slid halfway off the couch. Hercules had tucked his arm around them to keep them from toppling to the floor completely. His eyes were closed, but Alex didn’t think he was really asleep. Just still, peaceful.

This  _ was _ the eye of the hurricane. Alex dreaded the tempest that was waiting on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of part one! It's been a long time, wow, I can't believe it! You all have been so amazing for sticking with me through all this. There's going to be a short hiatus, but I'll be back in two or three weeks! I'll update you guys on my tumblr (linked below) if you want to know more exact dates later! Ahhh I'm so lucky to have all of you as readers, you're incredible and lovely and give the best comments, seriously, I want to cry reading them because they just make me so happy. I hope John's story was everything you imagined, and that you appreciate the slight reprieve that our beloved Revolutionary Set is getting in the eye of the hurricane. Love yourself as much as I love you, and take care of yourself in whatever way you need to. You are strong enough. You might not always make the right decisions, but you will always make it through. I believe in you. Go, be wonderful. It's what you were born to be. <3 ~Clare


	19. A Preview...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm back!!!_

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

“Alexander, I'm surprised to see you back here,” Thomas Jefferson greeted him in the entrance to the courtroom. “I was under the impression that Laurens would be representing himself today.” His voice had an icy edge to it.

Alex tried to breathe deeply. He could do this. “Well, I'm sorry to have to inform you that you were under the wrong impression,” he said.

Jefferson narrowed his eyes. “Don't you know what is going to happen?” he said softly, dangerously.

“Yes,” Alex replied. “I know exactly what is going to happen. You are going to lose.” He smiled disarmingly. “I'll see you later, Thomas. Do take care.” He stalked off, leaving Jefferson a bit unnerved and suspicious.  _ Good _ , Alex thought. _ It's working _ .

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continue on to [Part Two: After the Eye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8597764/chapters/19717138).

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [marqueer-de-lafayette](http://marqueer-de-lafayette.tumblr.com/), find my other stories there, and you're always welcome and encouraged to leave a comment or come talk to me here or on tumblr! I love you all and stay safe. <3 ~Clare  
> P.S. Thanks to my betas Lauren and Emma, I couldn't have done it without you two beautiful humans! <33333


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